Wedding gifts

[LadyOfMystery]

If you aren't married, have you thought about what you would like to receive as a wedding gift when that time comes?

If you are married, did you receive any of the gifts that you wanted as a wedding gift?

Also, if you are married, do you use any of the things that you received? Is it still waffle makers and blenders? lol

 

[Inkachu]

I tend to be "non-entitled" in the extreme, meaning that I never expect anyone to give me anything, even for a birthday, Christmas, etc. If someone chooses to give me something, I'm flattered and touched. If they don't, I don't feel slighted or offended, because nobody "owes" me a darn thing. So that kinda carries over into my wedding plans. I've not registered anywhere, and I don't expect anyone to give me gifts. If someone does, I'll be delighted. If they don't, I don't care, I'm touched just to have them present at my special day

 

[Wren]

I didn't make a wedding registry and share it. Our wedding was so low-key that Puffca and I felt guilty at the idea of asking for gifts. We did get gifts, though, both in the U.S. and in China. The most popular gift to give was the traditional Chinese custom of giving cash in a red envelope with gold writing on it (which I think says something along the lines of "best wishes"). Gifts given at the China wedding reception were given to my MIL, since she paid for the reception and guests gifts. Gift money given to us from a SIL was used for part of the China trip, so practically right away. I haven't used all of the other gifts, yet.

 

[twnsrkr]

Probably a rifle or pistol I really want. It would just depend.

 

[CelticGrace]

Off the top of my head, the only wedding gift I can think of that we're still using 7 1/2 years later is the bed DH's grandmother gave us. We *have* some of the stuff we got, we just don't use it lol

 

[mina]

I registered, b/c it just made things easier and I wanted to walk around and shoot things with a scan gun. People were asking and several ladies really really wanted to throw me wedding showers. So we registered for things we needed. I wouldn't have cared if people bought anything or not. We got some really nice things from our registry so a lot of it was things we specifically wanted and needed. We use it all; from the toothbrush holder to the wisk. The things we most use like daily is the juicer and the set of knives and ice cube trays. A lot of people gave us things we didn't register for; which was fine but I don't really use those things and most of them are in storage. One lady gave us towels that I didn't register for but I love them and we use them, but oddly enough when I was unwrapping them and cutting the plastic tie things that hold them together there was a tract inside. It was just funny; like I don't know if she put it there or someone in the store shoved one inside, so now we call them our holy towels. we got giftcards too; and those are really nice to use.


As a wedding guest, I like registries. Then I know exactly what they need or want; I don't see it as asking for presents but as suggestions. It's easy; if I'm going to get them a present anyway then I want to get them something they can use and I don't want them to get 5 of something. If I know the couple really well I might get something that caters to their likes or interests. One friend got married and I know she really loves to cook so I made her an apron and got them my favorite cookbook.

 

[Inkachu]

Registeries definitely make sense if you've got a big group of friends/family that will be giving gifts, all for the reasons Mina mentioned above.

 

[Hadassah_]

When I married, we registered. I have a very large family spread out all over the globe and that's just how we roll. We are rarely able to make it to the weddings but we always send something.

We are divorced now and sadly he kept everything so I have no clue what he uses or tossed.

If I marry again I'm sure I'll register just to keep the families in the loop.

 

[Nightshade17]

I'm not sure

 

[Wren]

As a wedding guest, I like registries. Then I know exactly what they need or want; I don't see it as asking for presents but as suggestions. It's easy; if I'm going to get them a present anyway then I want to get them something they can use and I don't want them to get 5 of something. If I know the couple really well I might get something that caters to their likes or interests. One friend got married and I know she really loves to cook so I made her an apron and got them my favorite cookbook.

I did feel a bit bad for guests that I didn't have a registry up and if I had a nicer reception and longer engagement, I probably would have created/shared a registry gift list.

 

[mina]

I did feel a bit bad for guests that I didn't have a registry up and if I had a nicer reception and longer engagement, I probably would have created/shared a registry gift list.

I think how ya'll did it was fine. Registries are up to the couple. Often at work I would have to contribute to a wedding or baby shower and I knew little to nothing about the people getting married or having a baby so I appreciated their registries so I would have some idea of what to give other than a gift card. Sometimes I think if a couple has one or not has to do with what they are used to or what seems to work for their guests. In my area it was considered the "normal" thing to do and on hubby's side too. We had hesitation in trying to figure out what the correct thing was and we didn't want to seem like we were demanding presents b/c we aren't like that. People asked and asked and seemed confused and almost slighted when I said I haven't registered anywhere yet so we did it b/c our guests seemed to really want that option.

 

[Verve]

In my experience,as a guest and as a wedding party member, nobody ever uses registries and some people feel offended when sent registry information like they "have" to buy a present for someone.

Bridal showers aren't really popular or common around here either. Once again because people often view it as "it's just a party so they can guilt people into buying them stuff" which I never understood.

People around here are pretty autonomous. I've often heard that I was the only or one of the few people who bought something off the registry.

Then again, thank you notes seem to be a lost art in this area too. Our culture is very self focused, so people don't send gifts and people are shocked by thank you notes.

Edit:

Though I do plan on registering (hopefully someday) for the reasons Mina and Hadassah mentioned.
I don't really care and view it as a suggestion, like Mina said.

Oh and I do send thank you notes.
My mom raised me properly.

 

[mina]

Oh thank you notes are a MUST! If people get me a gift for any reason; a handwritten thank you note is very important.

I think it's bad manners and tacky to include registry information on invites. I think that is asking for a gift. Who ever throws you a shower (if there is a shower) is supposed to inform the guests where you are registered and if someone asks then I think it's ok to tell them. But to send it in invites is sorta rude. But it's different in different areas. where my husband is from that is very common to include the registry on a wedding invitation, but where I am from it's considered very very rude and a huge social no-no. So we didn't put that information on the invitations. People either asked me directly or my mother or my bridesmaids or my mil; if it was important to them.

And showers in the south are like just fun parties and considered really normal to do. I had so many ladies just really really happy about throwing me a shower and planning all the details; it was a blessing to just see how much they cared and wanted to make me feel special. They didn't have to do it, I didn't care about presents, and some people that came to my showers didn't give me a present but I enjoyed their company and it was nice that they cared enough about me to get together and celebrate with me. The focus wasn't presents; the focus was celebration.

 

[Verve]

Oh thank you notes are a MUST! If people get me a gift for any reason; a handwritten thank you note is very important.

I think it's bad manners and tacky to include registry information on invites. I think that is asking for a gift. Who ever throws you a shower (if there is a shower) is supposed to inform the guests where you are registered and if someone asks then I think it's ok to tell them. But to send it in invites is sorta rude. But it's different in different areas. where my husband is from that is very common to include the registry on a wedding invitation, but where I am from it's considered very very rude and a huge social no-no. So we didn't put that information on the invitations. People either asked me directly or my mother or my bridesmaids or my mil; if it was important to them.

And showers in the south are like just fun parties and considered really normal to do. I had so many ladies just really really happy about throwing me a shower and planning all the details; it was a blessing to just see how much they cared and wanted to make me feel special. They didn't have to do it, I didn't care about presents, and some people that came to my showers didn't give me a present but I enjoyed their company and it was nice that they cared enough about me to get together and celebrate with me. The focus wasn't presents; the focus was celebration.

I think that's what it should be about, just celebrating.

Where is your husband from?

I wouldn't put it on invites, I agree about that being awkward...

 

[Tink]

We didn't register...yet. We're actually having our reception/celebration in August and people have already been asking me where we're registered.

I think we're just going to register for some bath towels and stuff or perhaps some art if we see any we like because we really already have everything we need.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

We didn't register simply because we already lived in a fully furnished house. People kept asking us what they should get us and I said "We don't expect anyone to get us anything, but if you insist we would rather have money for the honeymoon because it would be used." We ended up with quite a bit of cash for the honeymoon.

Semi off topic: I did register for my baby shower because there are certain products and brands of products that I wouldn't use or want for various reasons so I feel it's easier to register so that people know what I want/need for the baby. Wedding registries are kind of the same, IMO, and I'm never offended when people put registry information on invites.

 

[Aino]

I don't think people would be offended if we had registered a list but then we felt awkward doing so, so we just told everyone to come and get us something if they absolutely wanted... We got a lot of cash and gift cards, which were awesome as well as sheets, a moccamaster, some other kitchen stuff. I think there was nothing particularly useless and we've actually used most of the stuff we got. I think my favorite so far is the tea pot and cups we got from a friend of mine who lives in the UK right now.

 

[Socktastic]

I don't know anyone who has registered or had a bridal shower, it's always a "if you want to get a present, get something you want us to have, but don't get us a present for the sake of present giving, your presence and blessing is enough" vibe.

So I wouldn't register, i'd feel awkward about doing so and it just isn't something i'm used to.

 

[Tamara224]

I hadn't planned on registering, my thoughts/feelings are similar to Vicky's on it. Also, we had a very short engagement and a private wedding.

But, my mom made us register because she and my sister insisted on a bridal shower and my mom said "people will want to give you gifts, you shouldn't make it hard on them."

But our registries (three places) were pretty pathetic. At Bed, Bath & Beyond we only had 6 items on the list, lol. A couple of my cousins got a little peeved with me that my registry was so short. They ended up just getting a gift card.

I was honestly quite surprised at the number of gifts we received. And the amount of money people spent on them. And I have a feeling we'll get more presents later this year when we do our "reception" to celebrate our marriage.

 

[debbiety]

Yes ,you are right