Watching t.v.

[hisbloodformysins]

I have to admit, my hubby and I are couch potatoes a lot of times. And of course before we had my son we were idealistic and said that we'd only let him watch an hour of t.v. a day. Well, my son loves dora the explorer, blues clues, seseme street.... and the list goes on. By the way he is two. And when he watches these shows he's completely tuned in. And I admit that I take advantate of that and do my own things, for example right now I'm on the computer. Sometimes it's to do a chore, or even snooze on the couch on and off after working all night until my hubby is able to be home to watch him. Is this wrong?? I know the experts say not to let them watch more than 20 minutes a day, well, my son watches like 3 hours a day (we don't get out much), and I don't see what's so wrong with it, but sometimes I feel like I'm being a bad parent. And although I love my son dearly and enjoy him, I get caught up in doing my own thing. I'd like to hear your comments on this.

 

[Tangnefedd]

I think that your son is watching far too much TV. I don't want to be down on you, as you seem to be having a bad time. I know how easy it is to use the TV as a nanny. there are lots of other things you might like to do with your boy, reading to him, playing games that will help him with reading and writing, singing with him etc. Is there a park you can take him to so that he runs off all that excess energy?

Do you meet up with other folk with children of the same age, does your church have a mother/father and toddler group? I am concerned that you don't get out much. You sound as if you might be a little depressed, which is quite natural. Please try to find folk with whom you can share the stuff you have shared with us on this forum. I have raised 6 children, 3 daughters born to us, 2 adopted sons and a foster son all the boys have special needs, so I know a little about child rearing. I am aso a granny and although I don't want to be pushy, I am happy to be there for you should you wish to pm or e-mail me. They say a trouble shared is a trouble halved.

 

[lucypevensie]

I think that's a lot of TV. I let my kids watch too much to so don't think I'm talking down. Parents have lost the ability to parent without a TV. You might think it is impossible to do chores with a child around, but it's not. The best thing to do when you're working on chores is to get them involved with you. This has been so valuable for me and my kids, such that my 4 year old can clean his room all by himself, bed made, clothes put in the drawer, toys in the bins. Mind you, it's not perfect but he does it proudly. No matter what chore you're doing there is something they can help with. cleaning the kitchen--they can put the silverware in the drawer, paying the bills--give them some paper and pens and have them "balance the checkbook".

If you don't think large amounts of TV viewing is harmful now it probably will be in the future. It does get addiciting and can be hard to break the habit. Better to break it now than when they get into school and have a hard time focusing becase they aren't being entertained enough. I notice myself that my kids behave so much better when they are doing things. Too much TV makes them get wild with pent up energy, which leads to misbehaving, fighting, etc.

 

[Andry]

My 2 cents? (And by the way, the counsel from you both are good!)

From my own experience with my 4yo, he got over it. It's a phase. Not to judge any parent, but we as parents can have one of those days (or weeks!) where the TV is a life saver. And yes, I think if we have some sense, we all know what we OUGHT to do as parents. But DOING it is altogether another matter.

I don't think I'm a super dad with a super kid, but right now, he's seen it all - all the shows like Dora, and Steve/Joe, Thomas, and now Batman/Superman - and while my wife and I don't particularly fill up his time to prevent him from watching TV, right now there's very little time in his day TO watch TV, and most often now he says NO to TV - imagine that! (And my wife and I are secretly wishing he'd sit in front of the TV, at least for a little while to give us a bit of a breather!). The secret? (if there is one). We we tend to forget that as they grow, they get more coordinated with their bodies, with their hands and feet, their thought and speech - so he's learned more activties that he just loves to try - hockey, skating, bicycling, soccer, etc etc. Can 2yo's do those things? Not likely, that's why he's enjoying the TV. Let him enjoy it for now.

So my thoughts, unless you and your husband are REAL couch potatoes (!!), actively participate and get involved in what your son watches, but overall, don't lose too much sleep over it - it's a phase, and he'll get over it.

 

[mamaneenie]

I have to admit, my hubby and I are couch potatoes a lot of times. And of course before we had my son we were idealistic and said that we'd only let him watch an hour of t.v. a day. Well, my son loves dora the explorer, blues clues, seseme street.... and the list goes on. By the way he is two. And when he watches these shows he's completely tuned in. And I admit that I take advantate of that and do my own things, for example right now I'm on the computer. Sometimes it's to do a chore, or even snooze on the couch on and off after working all night until my hubby is able to be home to watch him. Is this wrong?? I know the experts say not to let them watch more than 20 minutes a day, well, my son watches like 3 hours a day (we don't get out much), and I don't see what's so wrong with it, but sometimes I feel like I'm being a bad parent. And although I love my son dearly and enjoy him, I get caught up in doing my own thing. I'd like to hear your comments on this.

I have a 2 yo. son as well. I agree it is really hard to find things to do without the telly. I think he watches too much television too, but I balance it out, with lots of craft and other activities, since they are young it is hard to find things to do, but it can be done. I make playdough for him and last night he sat at the kitchen table playing with dough while I was cooking dinner. He was also able to talk with me. I often cut up the junk mail and make a paste out of cornflour and boiling water and he sticks it all together on old boxes or in a scrap book. These activities are very inexpensive and also develops their imagination and creativity. I used to work in a day care centre so my ideas come from what I used to do there. If you want more ideas you can pm me, and I will give you some more craft ideas. The other issue is that obesity in childhood is getting worse (it sure is in Australia, not sure about other places) so I try and take him out for some exercise, a trip to the park is great because sometimes there are other parents there too.

On the up side, my son watches Sesame Street too, and because of this, his counting is excellent, he has been able to count up to 5 since he was 22mths. TV has it's good and bad side, and the important thing to do is find the balance somewhere.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Wow, thanks guys. You see, as far as helping, occassionally I'll allow my son to help and be ok with the mess, but other times i just want to get it done, and when filling the dish washer he wants to pull things out- and there are knives! That's just one things. Another is that we have boughten so many books and have tried reading with him because even my hubbie's sister who is a teacher says there is a huge difference in vocabulary between the two, but after two seconds my son will take the book away, yank it out of our hands and look through it himself or occassonally rip out the pages, I have tried just sitting there and making comments about what he turns the page to, but there is no reading. We took him to the park yesterday, I'm looking forward to the weather change because there is a park in walking distance, and a pool, and I bought him one of those body suits with an intertube in him (he never stayed in his raft last year, he wanted to walk around in the water but it was so dangerous,) this year I can be a little less cautios because he has grown a lot and we'll be able to swim more often. These last couple of days I've turned the t.v. of and just played with him or let him entertain hisself with his toys, but after an hour or so he'll say "blue" (because he loves blues clues) and "back pack" (he loves dora) and he turned the t.v. on himself yesterday LOL. He has a routine now of watching these cartoons, and he learns a lot. Though I'm not hispanic or a fluent spanish speaker, I try to encorporate some of the words I learn off of Dora the explorer into every day things, and it gives me a desire to crack open my spanish books again so my son can learn it also. He has learned a lot just by watching these cartoons like (1, 2, 3 go)... Thanks for the tips, that is actually a really good idea to cut up your mail and make paste, my son would love that! I think that it would be good for us to try new things and activities so it's not the same thing day in and day out, and thanks for making me feel better about it- I guess I was kind of looking for someone to tell me that it is o.k., and that I'm not being a bad mother, though I admit that it would be a good idea for me to find more things that we can do together to help him learn, and to shut off the t.v., thanks everyone, god bless.

 

[hisbloodformysins]

Oh, and I am depressed chronically. Whether it's a chemical imbalance or the way I was brought up, my mom was depressed and was lazy (as a result of the depression) and would get stressed over the slightest things, I find myself that way, and the idea of having to do dishes had been very difficult for me. But I am taking antidepressants now, have been for a few months, and I'll admit that they have made a world of difference, plus God helps me. I admit, I am still somewhat of a recluse, I feel bad about myself (mad at myself) and I wonder what my neighbors think because they have invited me to go for walks with them, and they are always outside with their kids, they rarely see me outside- (I just don't have a desire to be) and I have turned them down before, partly because I'm shy and have some social anxiety, and partly because well, either it's too early for my taste, doesn't sound appealing, or I'll admit it- I'm lazy. It's so easy for ppl to say "Oh, you need to go join this or go to do....." but those things are just not appealing to me, I wish there were more things that I enjoyed doing, and to be honest, a lot of mothers I've gotten together with, I just wasn't interested in the same things they were, and the idea of getting together with them wasn't appealing, or like I said, I was too self conscience. I've learned a lot of bad habbits socially and in relationships because of my role models growing up, my mom was a bit eccentric, she too didn't feel comfortable hanging out with the average joe, her friends were all druggies and very different, eccentric ppl who were social outcasts...... It's just not that easy to break. And I know I need to get out, but do what??? Those things just aren't appealing, I'd be just as depressed outside as I am in my home laying on my couch watching t.v., atleast at home I'm not forced to look happy or please anyone or exhert unwanted energy. But God's helping me more and more- with him all things are possible. He can and us making me a new person all the time.

 

[selune]

What do you like to do? What kinds of things would you enjoy getting out and doing? I understand, I too would rather be in and around the house vegging most of the time.

 

[lucypevensie]

Wow, you sound a lot like me! I'd rather just stay home and do stuff by myself too. My kids have been good at kicking me out of the house though, because they want to go visit this or that friend or whatever. So if I don't do it for myself I'm at least doing my kids a favor by letting them socialize. Put a smile on and try it. Sometimes just behaving as though you enjoy something you find yourself actually truly enjoying it.

 

[daphndon]

I have to admit, my hubby and I are couch potatoes a lot of times. And of course before we had my son we were idealistic and said that we'd only let him watch an hour of t.v. a day. Well, my son loves dora the explorer, blues clues, seseme street.... and the list goes on. By the way he is two. And when he watches these shows he's completely tuned in. And I admit that I take advantate of that and do my own things, for example right now I'm on the computer. Sometimes it's to do a chore, or even snooze on the couch on and off after working all night until my hubby is able to be home to watch him. Is this wrong?? I know the experts say not to let them watch more than 20 minutes a day, well, my son watches like 3 hours a day (we don't get out much), and I don't see what's so wrong with it, but sometimes I feel like I'm being a bad parent. And although I love my son dearly and enjoy him, I get caught up in doing my own thing. I'd like to hear your comments on this.

You know what...Don't stress it. They do grow out of it. But since your child is male, he will revert back to T.V. worship after puberty anyway (j/k).

Anyway, I do the same thing with my 2 year old. I am not saying it is right because ideally we all know that we should be actively interacting with our children all day, but realistically it ain't going to happen. You know I think the quality of the shows are different from when we were kids. My son adores Dora the Explorer also. He pays such close attention to the show that he now count to 5, IN SPANISH!!! Don't worry Sesame Street taught him to do it in English too.

Well I guess all I am saying is that no, we shouldn't let them watch too much T.V. but we should be grateful that there is actually quality and educational shows for them to watch.

 

[Evening Mist]

I'm guilty of getting lax about TV viewing too, esp. for my younger son who seems a bit lost with his big brother in school all day. He isn't used to being alone. I'm looking foward to the change in weather.

Keep trying to read to him -- my kids were both like that for a long time, and then suddenly -- they couldn't get enough! They reached a point where they were suddenly spell bound by being read to. I could read to my 3 yo all day if my voice would hold out!

One thing I have noticed is that if I keep the TV off, my children's behavior improves dramatically! Not at first though. Initially they are bored and restless. But over time I notice that they become more peaceful, more creative, more interested in playing quietly, and less argumentative. When I am disciplined about it -- it always pays off to shut off the TV and plunge through those first few hours of discontent.

 

[mamaneenie]

My 2 yo loves books, but that is because he has seen my husband and I read from day one. We both love books too. He has been coming to the library with me from an early age, and now he is older I sometimes get him to choose the books he wants to take home.


Maybe that is an idea, if you are up to it, get him to choose some of his own books, you can get cardboard ones too. I give my 2 yo cardboard books, to read by himself, and save the special paper ones for bedtime stories or something. Some days he will sit and listen to stories for 15 min at a time, other days he doesn't want to read at all. It just depends on his mood at the time