Watching other couples

[Brownstoned]

I've been single all my life. Not by choice but based on events that have happened over time, it appears that's just what God's will for me is.
Nevertheless, I watch other couples sometimes out of curiosity of how they handle their relationship. People I know at work, church, neighbors, even on TV and youtube. So many of them just take their significant other for granted. It seems as if they don't realize how lucky they are. Especially the guys. Most of them never take their lady out to eat. Instead of getting home and just talking for an hour or two about their days, the guy goes straight to the lazy boy and plays video games, or watches the ball game. She cooks, and he sits. After sitting and playing, he goes to bed and she cleans up. The next morning, she's up extra early, and makes breakfast for everyone, and lunch for the kids, then she's off to her job.
I saw this in my mom, and to a degree see it with my sister. They both are hard at work, barely able to sit down, while the brother in law and my dad are on *** during the day. It takes them hours before they actually have time to answer a text message. The guys don't even have to ask for a sandwhich. They come in and ask if they want one.
Anyways, I guess this is more of a rant thread. How hard is it to just stop by the flower shop once every couple of weeks and pick up a bouquet... or ignore the video games and sports for a change. Instead of buying the brand new corvette, maybe an addition to the house just for doing her stuff.

 

[public hermit]

I've been single all my life. Not by choice but based on events that have happened over time, it appears that's just what God's will for me is.
Nevertheless, I watch other couples sometimes out of curiosity of how they handle their relationship. People I know at work, church, neighbors, even on TV and youtube. So many of them just take their significant other for granted. It seems as if they don't realize how lucky they are. Especially the guys. Most of them never take their lady out to eat. Instead of getting home and just talking for an hour or two about their days, the guy goes straight to the lazy boy and plays video games, or watches the ball game. She cooks, and he sits. After sitting and playing, he goes to bed and she cleans up. The next morning, she's up extra early, and makes breakfast for everyone, and lunch for the kids, then she's off to her job.
I saw this in my mom, and to a degree see it with my sister. They both are hard at work, barely able to sit down, while the brother in law and my dad are on *** during the day. It takes them hours before they actually have time to answer a text message. The guys don't even have to ask for a sandwhich. They come in and ask if they want one.
Anyways, I guess this is more of a rant thread. How hard is it to just stop by the flower shop once every couple of weeks and pick up a bouquet... or ignore the video games and sports for a change. Instead of buying the brand new corvette, maybe an addition to the house just for doing her stuff.

It's a good rant. And, I agree, usually guys are the worst. But I think it's almost inevitable. Maybe it's just as simple as- familiarity breeds contempt. It's hard work to see the goodness and beauty we see everyday. Children are awe struck because it's all new. But, in time, they become cynical adults. Relationships are inherently on the same trajectory, because humans forget to be enchanted. We have to look. We have to work at seeing the beauty before us. It takes humility and a forgetting of self.

So, yeah, being single is a lot easier lol.

 

[Somber]

Yes, sometimes it is all too easy to take life for granted and what we have. Life gets busy and then we let it pass us by. I think sometimes some of us single folks also tend to take our single years and alone time for granted. There are so many things we can value and appreciate in our lives each day, or at least I know oftentimes I take life for granted a bit more than I should.

There's definitely a lot of unhealthy and unbalanced relationships and marriages that we see everywhere we go. I think it's good that you are so aware of these unhealthy patterns. Thank you for sharing with us!

 

[Brownstoned]

So, yeah, being single is a lot easier lol.

Like you said, I'm sure being single is easier. And the married people out there would say that I have no idea what I'm talking about. But I still cant see how flowers every once in a while is that hard. And actually that reminds me of a WGN video I saw a while back. The sports guy Pat calls up his wife on air and confirms to all the viewers how much he loves his wife. Search youtube for "WGN anchor calls wife live on TV to confirm he brings her flowers every Sunday".

 

[Sketcher]

But I still cant see how flowers every once in a while is that hard. And actually that reminds me of a WGN video I saw a while back. The sports guy Pat calls up his wife on air and confirms to all the viewers how much he loves his wife. Search youtube for "WGN anchor calls wife live on TV to confirm he brings her flowers every Sunday".

If he's on the road all the time, he's got to make up for all that absence somehow.

 

[public hermit]

Like you said, I'm sure being single is easier. And the married people out there would say that I have no idea what I'm talking about. But I still cant see how flowers every once in a while is that hard. And actually that reminds me of a WGN video I saw a while back. The sports guy Pat calls up his wife on air and confirms to all the viewers how much he loves his wife. Search youtube for "WGN anchor calls wife live on TV to confirm he brings her flowers every Sunday".

You're right, it's not hard to show love in concrete ways. I wouldn't say you don't know what your talking about; you do. The mystery is why it becomes so easy to take each other for granted, like @Somber was saying. Honestly, I don't know. But, you're definitely hitting the nail in the head.

 

[Saucy]

I understand what you're saying and see it a lot in relationships...but I also think it's easy to be in your position and see that. I'm not saying you are jealous or anything, but it almost comes from a position of thinking, "Wow, if I had that, I wouldn't treat my wife that way," when in reality, you probably would. You also don't see the ways their wives also probably take their relationships for granted. You might not be there the days their husbands do bring home roses or show their appreciation. Overall, it's really something that happens in EVERY relationship eventually. They take HARD work and constant dedication and it can be easy to get comfortable in your skin, comfortable with your SO to the point where you know everything about them. The honeymoon period never lasts.

I hope this doesn't come out as if I'm attacking your POV or anything. I just try to be a realist when it comes to relationships and not over-romanticize them. Every relationship is two very imperfect people with their faults and weaknesses coming together to try to make it work. I hope I never do that to my wife in marriage, but I think it can happen without realizing it's happening.

 

[DragonFox91]

I’ve always been exposed to where the work put in is mutual.

Also I get sad seeing couples get touchy in public. I thought that’s what this thread would be about.

 

[Niels]

People are creatures of habit, and often find comfort in routines. If what they're doing truly works for them, I don't see a problem. Appreciation can be shown in many ways, and the more you get to know someone, the better idea you should have about their likes and dislikes. Some prefer to stay home, for instance, whereas others prefer to go out more often.

Also, we don't really know what goes on behind closed doors. One relationship might look lackluster from the outside, despite being amazing from the couples' perspective. The opposite can also be true, of course, where a relationship looks amazing to others yet the couple can barely tolerate each other.

 

[Somber]

People are creatures of habit, and often find comfort in routines. If what they're doing truly works for them, I don't see a problem. Appreciation can be shown in many ways, and the more you get to know someone, the better idea you should have about their likes and dislikes. Some prefer to stay home, for instance, whereas others prefer to go out more often.

Also, we don't really know what goes on behind closed doors. One relationship might look lackluster from the outside, despite being amazing from the couples' perspective. The opposite can also be true, of course, where a relationship looks amazing to others yet the couple can barely tolerate each other.

Very good points!!!