Waiting for marriage

[TheLittleBit]

So, Here is my too complicated situation.
My History
I didnt grow up in the church. I was never taught that it was expected nor recommended to wait until marriage for sex. At 19 I got pregnant and married the father. We then had another child when I was 23. (Im 30 now). He had an affair and left me for the other woman when I was 25, we separated and later divorced. BTW their relationship didnt last one year and when he tried to reconcile I no longer was interested. He has since re-married (this May 2011)

2 years ago I met a guy through a friend. I really liked him except he was a Christian guy and I was a girl "of the world". He told me that he would not be interested in a girl that was not active in the Word of God. I liked this guy so much that I thought that I would go to church and learn about God to see if we had a chance. If it wasnt for me I could let him go and we'd move on but it was worth finding out. I started attending church (behind his back...lol) I found myself crying in church and found a connection I never knew I was missing. I began to read the bible and eventually turned my life over to God.

The Present:

This guy and I are still together now. We actually are living together (but we do not have sex) My children & I were actually living with my mom but, due to some other family issues and need for the space a few months ago I started staying with him until those issues will be resolved (that will be by the end of September and I will be going back).

When he & I first started dating & I wasnt saved he was conflicted about if he should be with me (the yolk thing) and so he prayed about it. He said that God revealed to him in prayer that he should just wait until he graduated his program and he would know that I was the one if I were still there. He graduates next June. Does it make sense that a guy needs to wait that long to know if he wants to marry you or not? It would be 3 years by then. Another issue is it has been very difficult "waiting 4 marriage". I know that I love him and want to be his wife. Is it wrong that I feel hurt that its obvious he isnt as sure (as there has been no proposal)?

 

[Luther073082]

Does he have an income? He may be waiting for marriage until he gets an income going.

Other then that at your age and I'm presuming he's of similar age, I don't know why someone would wait for that long to get married.

 

[TheLittleBit]

He makes around 60k a year. Ill be done with school in Nov and should make around the same if God Blesses me with a job. If I go full time at my current job I'll make around 40k. Next year when he graduates he'll make significantly more.

 

[Luther073082]

He makes around 60k a year. Ill be done with school in Nov and should make around the same if God Blesses me with a job. If I go full time at my current job I'll make around 40k. Next year when he graduates he'll make significantly more.

Personally I see no reason why he has not asked you to marry him yet.

Do you know if he has a sex drive at all?

I want to say that I don't think that living together before marriage is a good idea either.

 

[TheLittleBit]

Personally I see no reason why he has not asked you to marry him yet.

Do you know if he has a sex drive at all?

I want to say that I don't think that living together before marriage is a good idea either.

So, you dont think that him praying about it when we first got together and reconciling that he would wait until he finished his residency is a good enough reason to wait?

He definatly has a sex drive because it is very obvious that restraint is being used by both parties...more so me tho.

We are only living together for a short, determined amount of time. My brother lost his job & then his apartment. He is staying in my room at my moms house until Sept. At that point he is moving to marry his fiance that lives in the UK & I'll take my room back.

 

[barefeetonholyground]

So, Here is my too complicated situation.
My History
I didnt grow up in the church. I was never taught that it was expected nor recommended to wait until marriage for sex. At 19 I got pregnant and married the father. We then had another child when I was 23. (Im 30 now). He had an affair and left me for the other woman when I was 25, we separated and later divorced. BTW their relationship didnt last one year and when he tried to reconcile I no longer was interested. He has since re-married (this May 2011)

2 years ago I met a guy through a friend. I really liked him except he was a Christian guy and I was a girl "of the world". He told me that he would not be interested in a girl that was not active in the Word of God. I liked this guy so much that I thought that I would go to church and learn about God to see if we had a chance. If it wasnt for me I could let him go and we'd move on but it was worth finding out. I started attending church (behind his back...lol) I found myself crying in church and found a connection I never knew I was missing. I began to read the bible and eventually turned my life over to God.

The Present:

This guy and I are still together now. We actually are living together (but we do not have sex) My children & I were actually living with my mom but, due to some other family issues and need for the space a few months ago I started staying with him until those issues will be resolved (that will be by the end of September and I will be going back).

When he & I first started dating & I wasnt saved he was conflicted about if he should be with me (the yolk thing) and so he prayed about it. He said that God revealed to him in prayer that he should just wait until he graduated his program and he would know that I was the one if I were still there. He graduates next June. Does it make sense that a guy needs to wait that long to know if he wants to marry you or not? It would be 3 years by then. Another issue is it has been very difficult "waiting 4 marriage". I know that I love him and want to be his wife. Is it wrong that I feel hurt that its obvious he isnt as sure (as there has been no proposal)?

You need to move out. Even though you aren't having sex he is failing to love you as Christ loved the church by 1) making you wait and 2) not preserving your reputation by having you two live together. We are called to live above reproach and not be patterned after this world and he's not stepping up to live like that. It's not you, he's simply not ready and you shouldn't have to wait for him to put his life together. You're too precious to be treated that way. Move out and see what happens, either he'll man up or back off.

 

[dayhiker]

I'd say to talk to him about why wait that long? Talk it out. Get his point of view. Express your feelings and let him react.

I have no problem with your present living situation personally.