- Apr 17, 2005
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I have thought recently about what it means to be a victim... To me, it seems like being a victim in many ways is a choice that we make. People survive very horrific things and can have very different reactions.
I think being a victim is a choice we all make. You start seeing it more clearly in a military environment when someone gets selected for last minute, unlucky duties that steal weekends and force folks to pack their bags and go away for two or three weeks to live like a Spartan.
Generally, the younger people act as if they are victims and that it is an affront to them. I used to be the sort to curse as much but there has to be a point at which a person really stops and re-asses it and recognizes that there are some things which cannot be changed. But this is hardly victimization. It is only the shallowest of levels.
I went to school with several immigrants from war zones. Some were quickly evacuated and incurred no troubles yet there were a few who saw it very first hand -- one was actually a child soldier in Sudan, another lost two of her siblings to Hussein's Al-Anfal campaign in the late 80s. I remember being impressed by the attitudes they had towards the entire situation.
They acted as if it was cold, hard fact; just history. It could not be changed or altered and the notion of carrying it with you everywhere and being sad because of it really didn't click with them. There was a certain detachment I didn't understand.
I've also met people who have been raped before and have handled it almost in very forgiving terms. No vindictive streak at all.
In fact, it seems like the majority of people who seem upset and rattled by something feel it towards quite small problems. To me, it makes them petty.
If you have the right attitude there is no such thing as victimization. There are just facts -- just crimes that were done against you that in no way make you weaker or lesser or needing help, but rather give you a new experience.
I guess it is at this point that we have to take sober, cold looks at our lives and even the lives of others and perhaps gather around us the notion that all we have is the moments we are passing now, and in this sense it is our duty to make the best of everything (a duty to ourselves). We cannot dwell on things but must simply shrug them off and grow towards any amount of light peaking through the darkness that is in our life.
Life is about overcoming things -- life is about not being a victim.
Please, if someone ever does something horrible to you do your best to not carry it with you and to shrug it off. That is where nobility in character lies. That is how dignity is instilled in a person and they become their best. That is self-actualization.
Martyrs crave the pain and rigors of life and seek them out... Maybe we should, too, and remember to smile through our darkest hour and to go above and beyond the pain.
A victim is simply a person with a bad attitude.
After a few weeks of darkness people should be slapped across the face and told to Soldier up or give up. We do not have to be scared animals.
It is immorality to yourself to dwell on your past and lord it over people's heads in such a fashion. It becomes morbid and repugnant to view things from that lens -- yet it becomes glorious, dignified and moving to view it from the lens of trial by fire and fighting to move on and to only look back with a wise eye, hoping simply to glean from experience.
The Soldier who drops his weapon in battle never to return is a coward.
The victim who drops his composure for good and never recovers is a coward.
When we face our difficult situations we have the opportunity to prove ourselves as mighty and noble spirits -- we should thank God for the opportunity to prove to ourselves and to others the depths of our souls and the strength of our will.
People do not need pity but only need the empathy and camaraderie of others. There are certain morsels of truth and beauty we can find in all situations.
A person never looks so dignified as when they suffer with nobility -- that is why we cheer for the underdog. It is in their impending defeat and continued fight that we wish to see ourselves -- no one ever hopes to defeat the world from a golden throne with all of fate and fact on their side, but rather we wish to be weak for a moment so we can measure how strong we become; we wish to once be slaves so that we know what it is to be free.
Perhaps this is where the archaic notion of might makes right comes from:
Because these men have suffered the horrors of war and have left their homes to come so far, to rule and to conquer, to know more than their farm village and to know more than a life behind a plow, they have a certain dignity and right they have earned through their suffering and have learned a certain truth. They have gained a dignity and a nobility in the fact that they actively chose never to be on the opposite end of the sword in a time when war and bloodshed was as common as birth and the world suffered a poverty of ideology.
What separated the Viking from the peasant he stole from was a choice -- a choice to make life more than a few acres of farmland and submission to a Lord. Though the Viking has become a tremendous anti-hero he is an anti-hero of the caliber of any noble bandit -- he is a man who when given a poor lot in life decided to go to war for more.
That is the attitude that I guess we need to have -- when we are put under the thumb of another or victimized by circumstance we must pull ourselves up from our boot straps, find our martial bearing and lower our heads.
As long as we are pushing forward we can only die where we stand and never be backed into a hole of abject defeat and misery.
The difference between victims and martyrs is attitude -- the victim dies a victims death and lives a victims life characterized by fear and weakness, and though the martyr may be weak his acceptance of his lot crowns his death with the people's immortal admiration.
I think being a victim is a choice we all make. You start seeing it more clearly in a military environment when someone gets selected for last minute, unlucky duties that steal weekends and force folks to pack their bags and go away for two or three weeks to live like a Spartan.
Generally, the younger people act as if they are victims and that it is an affront to them. I used to be the sort to curse as much but there has to be a point at which a person really stops and re-asses it and recognizes that there are some things which cannot be changed. But this is hardly victimization. It is only the shallowest of levels.
I went to school with several immigrants from war zones. Some were quickly evacuated and incurred no troubles yet there were a few who saw it very first hand -- one was actually a child soldier in Sudan, another lost two of her siblings to Hussein's Al-Anfal campaign in the late 80s. I remember being impressed by the attitudes they had towards the entire situation.
They acted as if it was cold, hard fact; just history. It could not be changed or altered and the notion of carrying it with you everywhere and being sad because of it really didn't click with them. There was a certain detachment I didn't understand.
I've also met people who have been raped before and have handled it almost in very forgiving terms. No vindictive streak at all.
In fact, it seems like the majority of people who seem upset and rattled by something feel it towards quite small problems. To me, it makes them petty.
If you have the right attitude there is no such thing as victimization. There are just facts -- just crimes that were done against you that in no way make you weaker or lesser or needing help, but rather give you a new experience.
I guess it is at this point that we have to take sober, cold looks at our lives and even the lives of others and perhaps gather around us the notion that all we have is the moments we are passing now, and in this sense it is our duty to make the best of everything (a duty to ourselves). We cannot dwell on things but must simply shrug them off and grow towards any amount of light peaking through the darkness that is in our life.
Life is about overcoming things -- life is about not being a victim.
Please, if someone ever does something horrible to you do your best to not carry it with you and to shrug it off. That is where nobility in character lies. That is how dignity is instilled in a person and they become their best. That is self-actualization.
Martyrs crave the pain and rigors of life and seek them out... Maybe we should, too, and remember to smile through our darkest hour and to go above and beyond the pain.
A victim is simply a person with a bad attitude.
After a few weeks of darkness people should be slapped across the face and told to Soldier up or give up. We do not have to be scared animals.
It is immorality to yourself to dwell on your past and lord it over people's heads in such a fashion. It becomes morbid and repugnant to view things from that lens -- yet it becomes glorious, dignified and moving to view it from the lens of trial by fire and fighting to move on and to only look back with a wise eye, hoping simply to glean from experience.
The Soldier who drops his weapon in battle never to return is a coward.
The victim who drops his composure for good and never recovers is a coward.
When we face our difficult situations we have the opportunity to prove ourselves as mighty and noble spirits -- we should thank God for the opportunity to prove to ourselves and to others the depths of our souls and the strength of our will.
People do not need pity but only need the empathy and camaraderie of others. There are certain morsels of truth and beauty we can find in all situations.
A person never looks so dignified as when they suffer with nobility -- that is why we cheer for the underdog. It is in their impending defeat and continued fight that we wish to see ourselves -- no one ever hopes to defeat the world from a golden throne with all of fate and fact on their side, but rather we wish to be weak for a moment so we can measure how strong we become; we wish to once be slaves so that we know what it is to be free.
Perhaps this is where the archaic notion of might makes right comes from:
Because these men have suffered the horrors of war and have left their homes to come so far, to rule and to conquer, to know more than their farm village and to know more than a life behind a plow, they have a certain dignity and right they have earned through their suffering and have learned a certain truth. They have gained a dignity and a nobility in the fact that they actively chose never to be on the opposite end of the sword in a time when war and bloodshed was as common as birth and the world suffered a poverty of ideology.
What separated the Viking from the peasant he stole from was a choice -- a choice to make life more than a few acres of farmland and submission to a Lord. Though the Viking has become a tremendous anti-hero he is an anti-hero of the caliber of any noble bandit -- he is a man who when given a poor lot in life decided to go to war for more.
That is the attitude that I guess we need to have -- when we are put under the thumb of another or victimized by circumstance we must pull ourselves up from our boot straps, find our martial bearing and lower our heads.
As long as we are pushing forward we can only die where we stand and never be backed into a hole of abject defeat and misery.
The difference between victims and martyrs is attitude -- the victim dies a victims death and lives a victims life characterized by fear and weakness, and though the martyr may be weak his acceptance of his lot crowns his death with the people's immortal admiration.
