I am a youth director/minister. I preach and the Lord has blessed my ministry. Unfortunately, before the Lord got a hold of me I made the mistake of pre-marital sex. I repented of my sin and the Lord has forgiven me. I will never make that mistake again. My problem is now I have just started dating the girl of my dreams. She is everything I could ever want but she doesn't know whether she can accept my passed or not. She is a virgin. She likes the fact that she knows I will not fall into that temptation again but I want to make sure she is doing the right thing by staying with me. Is she? Do I even deserve a girl like that after what I've done?
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virgin and a non-virgin
- Thread starter spikenard
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Myah
Invoking Wisdom
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You made a mistake as according to your belief, but there isn't any need to beat yourself up over it. If this girl is willing to look past your own past, then I would say don't worry about it and let it go. It happened, it's over with, move on 
Good luck!
Good luck!
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AngelusSax
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OK, so you made a mistake, admitted it, and asked forgiveness of Christ. When a person becomes a Christian after living a non-Christian life, they are born again. This terminology isn't used for no reason. You're born again because you're starting anew, as a creature of and in Christ. The old Adam is defeated and the Lord lives in you.
I can think of no reason that it'd be wrong for her to stay with you.
May God Bless you and keep you, may he make his face to shine upon you, and grant you his peace. May he bless your relationship.
Amen.
I can think of no reason that it'd be wrong for her to stay with you.
May God Bless you and keep you, may he make his face to shine upon you, and grant you his peace. May he bless your relationship.
Amen.
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Indeed. They say love conquers all. If the girl really cares about you, dreams in building something beautifull at your side, and is willing to make, with you, years and years of blessed hapiness, day-by-day (now tell me, this coyote is an silly romantic or what? ), and, if you feel the same, your past act will not be a barrier.
You two stop the guilty game and give happiness a chance.
), and, if you feel the same, your past act will not be a barrier.You two stop the guilty game and give happiness a chance.
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crossrunner
Serving the Lord joyfully since 1981!
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If she cannot accept your past...then she better get used to being lonely. We all have things in our past that are not always so good. Thank the Lord that He has a much much greater capacity for forgiveness than that. If she is unable to forgive your past, then move on. If so, then start over and don't focus on those things that were a part of your old life. Enjoy your new life together.
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how did that little song go in high school? " Sex is evil, sex is a sin, sins are forgiven so sex is in." It's a very lewd way of putting it btu form what I know abou christianity, ur all sinful people and through god u redeem urslef. so I wouldn't worry cause it seems to me if u ask for forgivness then its alright. So religiously ur fine so it shouldn;t matter to the girl, and really only once doesn't matter, not exactly what u woudl call a very promiscious thing. If u have a problem with it talk to her I'm sure u two will work it out if u love each other.
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Nathan David
Well-Known Member
I don't understand why she even cares, or for that matter why it's any of her business.
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If she is that bothered by it I would question her maturity and readiness to be in any type of serious relationship anyway. Virginal wedding nite fantasies are usually reserved for teenagers. Adults, on the other hand, know there are more important things to consider. You are not of legal age yet either so my best advice is take it slow and see if things pan out. You have nothing to feel bad about.
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spikenard said:
Since you've posted this in the "For All Members" section, I'm going to assume that you want input from all points of view, not just Christians. If I'm mistaken, I apologize, but you should move this to "Christians Only" if that's the case.
My opinion? (1) You've done nothing wrong, and (2) I would say that your relationship has a better chance to survive in a healthy way if the two of you spend some time making love and learning about each other's bodies and sexuality before you marry.
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TwinCrier
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My opinion; she has waited and remained pure and she has a right to require the same of her future mate. If she doesn't have a problem with your past, then neither should you. If she does, you should respect that as well.
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My impression is that Christianity is big on the forgiveness thing, so I don't see why it should be a problem. Besides, according to you guys, we're all sinners, so trying to hold a repented sin against someone is hypocrisy, yes, no?
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spikenard said:
With me being a virgin, I'd say yes, I look for someone who upholds the same morals and concepts of love and pre-marital sex as I do. BUT If they were a sinner, and had pre-marital sex, and then became saved and refused to fall into temptation, Who am I to hold them accountable for Something God threw as far as the East is from the West? I'd be a hypocrite because no one is perfect. So if she does Judge you because your not a virgin, but know and understand your mistake and refuse to do it again, then I agree wholeheartedly with the other person that posted, and say, you need to look at their maturity and readiness towards a relationship.
God bless.
(*(Angelsdance)*)
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The-Doctor
Man with a scarf
I think you are making too much of what you percieve to be a mistake. Chill is my advice.
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Follower of Christ
Literal 6 Day Creationist<br />''An Evening and a
spikenard said:
We all make mistakes guy.....you did, you repented....hopefully your girlfriend will understand that what you did is in the past.
From the sounds of it, shes picked the very best man she ever could, one who learns from his mistakes and tries harder the next time
good luck
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Lifesaver
Fides et Ratio
Spike, we have to keep our chastity, of course, but it is not like having sinned once in this respect will forever make you unclean in a way which God cannot clean you.
Once the sin is properly confessed and repented, and you truly strive to be chaste and moral, people shouldn't treat you differently. On the contrary, your faith and good conduct are a reason for admiration and respect.
The same is true for women, to whom virginity holds an even stronger symbolic status. No-one becomes less worthy of someone else's love because of past mistakes which have been abandoned.
Once the sin is properly confessed and repented, and you truly strive to be chaste and moral, people shouldn't treat you differently. On the contrary, your faith and good conduct are a reason for admiration and respect.
The same is true for women, to whom virginity holds an even stronger symbolic status. No-one becomes less worthy of someone else's love because of past mistakes which have been abandoned.
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spikenard said:
This topic makes me so angry. Ok folks let's clear one thing up right now. Pre-marital sex IS NOT the unforgiveable sin nor will it ever be. Sex is the MOST HUMAN FEELING anyone can have. And the Bible doesn't say "If you have sex before you are married you will burn in the eternal fiery furnaces of HELL!!!!!" Granted sex before marriage is considered sexual immorality and it is a sin, but so is everything else wrong that you do in your life. I don't think that this girl is worth your time if she can't look past some flaws of the past. If she carries this attitude, she must feel she is higher then the Lord because he MUST have been so foolish to forgive and accept you (please note my dripping sarcasm). This girl of yours must think that she is pure for keeping her virginity, so is she sinless then? No of course not, so then lay that one on her and tell her no is pure.
Look brother, I understand your frustration because God knows I have slept around enough and I hate my mistakes but really... what are you going to do about it? You can't change it and you certainly can't dwell on the mistakes. This is the way I see your situation, you ask " Do I deserve her?" I say absaloutely. You were man enough to be upfront with her and honesty is the best policy. You also see it as a mistake and sought repentance for it, thus proving to be a man of God. I don't think she deserves you because she is living in a pipe dream of this clean cut, perfect Christian living that I find a lot of our "brothers and sisters" try to seek out. She is fooling herself if she thinks she is going to find the "perfect guy". Personally, I think you should cut her loose if she is going to be like that and DEFINATELY don't look at your sin like some disease that is plaguing you.
Hang in their bud, if you ever want to vent or yak about this "sex issue" send me a message.
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Clay
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