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Various OCD concerns: Urges to think? Anger rush?

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PARCmd

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Hi!

I just read that one of the symptoms of scrupulosity or religious OCD is sudden anger (which entails an anger rush and then having a feeling of wanting to think deliberately about evil thoughts and subsequently not feeling guilty about it - until the anger rush passes).. Do you experience this? I had this (though it was renouncing God) and honestly, whenever I have this feeling I feel very scared or something though it also feels like I want to deliberately think about those thoughts. I first read about this in the book and suddenly realized that those anger rush may be a symptom, though I havent read about this in all other books about OCD.

Second question, I can't stop myself from thinking that the HS is the enemy, even though it is NOT an intrusive thought. I mean, I can't stop myself from NOT thinking it even though it is not intrusive. Is this sin?

THird question, I just read something in other threads that it is sin if you enjoy the thoughts. I had some times when I'd playfully think about the blasphemous thought and the renunciation thought - not really enjoy them but sort of, in a way, it's like that. IS this sin?

Fourth question, I have some thoughts that seem to come from deep within me - so even I counter it with vocalizing a "not", it seems to be still uncanceled..

Fifth question, whenever I read or imagine some places or events, such as being in the martyr's cave (or being hold up for your faith), it feels like when I read the words (denying your faith in words), it feels like I myself think about it. Do you have this??

Last question, I'm really afraid about this - can you renounce or irrvocably renounce God in your thoughts?

 

kaykay637

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ALL of this thinking you're describing is part and parcel of your OCD. It's not sin. It's OCD. The more you can train yourself, (and it's not usually easy) to leave it alone when you start to go into this type of thinking the better off you'll be.
 
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babegirl111

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Just keep praying. Sometimes I might be doing something and it is like I can actually feel when a ocd thought is coming on, so I start thinking a whole bunch of things to block it out, and sometimes i might think something blaspemous on accident. I really don't know if that is a sin, but it really scares me. I just keep praying about it all the time and hope that it gets better.
 
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gracealone

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ALL of this thinking you're describing is part and parcel of your OCD. It's not sin. It's OCD. The more you can train yourself, (and it's not usually easy) to leave it alone when you start to go into this type of thinking the better off you'll be.
Amen & Mega Ditto's KayKay!!
 
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