I hate Valentine's Day! It never was a big deal for me before...but it seems like even every piece of email junk mail is aimed at me feeling even more alone.
Why can't it be "okay" to be alone?
Why can't it be "okay" to be alone?
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Valentine's Day
- Thread starter blackribbon
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memoriesbymichelle
Senior Veteran
It can be and it is......no matter what the world says. 
Some people are needy and cannot be alone and others like me, not so much. I would love to have a healthy relationship if that's what the Lord has in store for me, but I've come to the place where it is not my focus.
I still have my moments, like when in church, they talk about marriage alot, or I see some of my friends that have the best marriage and family. But here I am on my journey. It is mine alone (with God). I would rather be alone than with some abusive person, or someone that is not for me.
So for now, I just give my kids valentines candy on VD day and that's it.
Some people are needy and cannot be alone and others like me, not so much. I would love to have a healthy relationship if that's what the Lord has in store for me, but I've come to the place where it is not my focus.
I still have my moments, like when in church, they talk about marriage alot, or I see some of my friends that have the best marriage and family. But here I am on my journey. It is mine alone (with God). I would rather be alone than with some abusive person, or someone that is not for me.
So for now, I just give my kids valentines candy on VD day and that's it.
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- Sep 6, 2005
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Wise words from both of you. 
There is no tradition for Valentine's Day in Norway, so I have no plans on celebrating it, even if I have a wonderful man in my life now.
To be alone is not the worst thing there is in this life, and when you have Jesus, you are never alone. He is with you all the time Blessings!
There is no tradition for Valentine's Day in Norway, so I have no plans on celebrating it, even if I have a wonderful man in my life now.
To be alone is not the worst thing there is in this life, and when you have Jesus, you are never alone. He is with you all the time
Blessings!
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- Feb 23, 2006
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I understand completely. It was never a big deal to me before either. Just another day. We live in a relationship society and now that I'm single, it can be depressing. I keep telling myself I CHOSE this life. I could still be married if I so wanted to be. So be happy dummy! <---- That was to me, not you.
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Javanwarbler
God doesn't ever stop loving us thank God!
I agree. But it really is okay and sometimes it's smart to be alone than just be in a relationship out of loneliness or by the pressure from society that says it isn't.
You're not alone in being alone!!! (and that includes V-day)
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Because I moved my kids away from family, I'm on several travel alert email for low cost tickets...I have to delete ads for "romantic getaways" several times a day while I sift through the important stuff. I also am on a couple florist lists because I like to send flowers to widow friends on anniversaries and birthdays or just when they are feeling down...I'm sure people can guess how many "show your sweetheart how much you love them" types of announcement each day.
It's only another week...but I could have ignored the holiday fairly well if my email would just shut up.
It's only another week...but I could have ignored the holiday fairly well if my email would just shut up.
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Javanwarbler
God doesn't ever stop loving us thank God!
That's (bold part) kind of how i feel about advertising in general. America is engulfed in images and stuff I dont' care to have shoved down my throat (well, eyes, in this case).
I've been without somebody for years and I'm also never married, no kids at age 39. Even though Valentine's Day is pretty much a non entity to me, sometimes it works out that our singles group can get together to eat good food with good company
Onve in a while it's maybe be with one girlfriend or two. I really think if you have a special someone it makes more sense to celebrate them everyday (or try to!) in your own meaningful ways than designate one day to rain material gifts on them and make the retail stores happy! No one specific holiday on one day is going to tell me how to show affection or love my SO.
It helps knowing there's people who feel Valentine's Day is not all it's cracked up to be. Then I just try and see if I can turn it into a fun and meaningful time with friends and family (if I happen to be in the same town as family, which i'm often not). this has helped me in the past somewhat deal with my intense loneliness i have, esp during this day.
On a lighter note, it means there is another opportunity to eat a cadbury chocolate egg, since they're usually out by this time
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For me it will just be another busy day...two skating lessons (one private and one group) for my daughter and Boy scouts for my son...non-stop taxi service for me...but good distraction.
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exitstageright
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For once,I am glad that I am working the pm shift(2:00pm until 10:30pm).Because while the many couples are having dinner,I will be busy working and not thinking about spending Valentines Day alone.
The last big Valentine's day that I had was romantic,alright. It was Saturday,February 14,1987,my wedding date. It was my idea to get married on Valentine's Day so I would not forget my anniversary date.I guess that I out-smarted myself,as everytime Valentine's Day comes around;I am reminded of my failed marriage. Our plan was to wait three years before having children,in order to save money and to travel.We wanted to have a child born at the turn of the century(the year 2000). Our child then would be a year older,as the century got older,5 at 2005,ten at 2010,and so on.
Well,we got divorced in 1991.So much for plans,as the poet said"The best laid plans of mice and men..........."
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exitstageright
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Well,in our American Society,it is not okay to be alone. If a young man is under 25 and single,he has to pay HIGHER car insurance premiums than a married man of the same age.
When I went to Hawaii for a vacation,even though I was alone,I stiil went to enjoy myself, to give myself a treat for my birthday.At the airport,I hailed a shuttle to Waikiki.The shuttle driver asked me,"Are you here by yourself?
When I checked into the hotel,the clerk asked,"Are you here by youself?" I went to Maui,two days later. I went to a nice resturant. While being seated at the resturant,I was asked,"Are you here by yourself?" As I was enjoying my food,by myself,a couple was seated next to me. Yes,one of the couple,the woman asked me,"Are you here by yourself?" I had wished people would have stopped REMINDING me that I was by myself. I just wanted to scream,"Yes! yes!,I AM HERE by myself.Do you want to make something of it?"
But....I did not. I took a deep breath,and clamly,in a normal voice,just said,"Yes,But I am NOT going to put my life on hold just because I am single. If I want to go someplace bad enough,I am going with or without somebody." The woman said,"That is a shame!You seem like such a nice man.I cannot believe that no woman would want to travel with you."
I just replied,as I always do, when someone says that,"Well,there are a lot of things in this world that does not make any sense."
One last thing is that I could not make it to a 49er game one Sunday. I have only one seat for season tickets. One ticket broker would not buy my ticket.He said,"NOBODY goes to a football game by themself." I said,"EXCUUUUSE me,I have had this single ticket ,and have been going to the games by myself for over thirty years! Not everybody on this planet is part of a couple!"
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exitstageright
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dayhiker
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When I was single in my 20's the church I attended used to have a Valentines' Day dinner. So I used to ask another single woman on a date that day. It wasn't that we were BF/GF. It was just a time to dress up and hang out with others in the church. I always enjoyed them.
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memoriesbymichelle
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Exit! YOU need one of these!!!!! Except it should say YES I am traveling alone and it's OK or something like that lol
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- Feb 23, 2006
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Maybe we all need one that says I'm with dummy. If we get questioned about it, we can either search around and find a 'dummy' or we can say my dummy was so dumb he left. OK, my humor is rather sad today. It's been one of those days ....
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dayhiker
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I've not bought into that me and Jesus is enough for quite a few years. Even Jesus had family and then 12 disciples around him. One word, fellowship. There are some loners who like being alone. But the loners who comment seem to wish they could get alone with people so they could have some friends.
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