Interesting point....my fiancee and I were both raised by mothers who taught us to tell the ones we loved at every opportunity, because we never knew when or how we might lose them.
However, I have to agree with your point. Strangely enough, this was probably one of the things that hurt my fiancee the most, and yet drew us quite a bit closer in the end.
When we first started dating, we were both chaotic messes. We both had varying issues of varying degrees of intensity - some worse than others, most dealing with some sort of troublesome past history. In any case, we helped, are helping, and will continue to help each other from the wounds we've both suffered. Neither of us are perfect, and my bet's goin' on the likelihood that we're both gonna end up with scars that will last us the rest of our lives and deeply affect our relationship (not that they haven't already). *shrug* It happens.
In any case, she had fallen for me some 3 years past, when we first met. I had reciprocated, but the feelings got lost somewhere in the shuffle, and neither thought the other returned them. I gave up on her, and went on to mess up my life in various other ways, including dating another girl (I won't go further into it, said issue deserves another thread entirely, look for it in whatever therapy section you've got in a coupla days if you're that interested). My fiancee made some mistakes as well, but throughout those three years, held her feelings for me, never letting me know. I almost wish she had now, prolly woulda made our lives a bit easier and saved us both some suffering.
...
Can't change the past, though, right? *wry grin*
Well, anyway, she finally told me she loved me.....when I was dating this other girl. Naturally enough, I didn't say it back at the time.
I ended up breaking up with the other girl a month or two later, and shortly thereafter, I asked my now-fiancee to go with me to my Senior Prom. Four days later (on her birthday!) we went to prom together...and I still wouldn't tell her I loved her. *wrinkles nose* I don't remember how long it took for me to clear out my own feelings enough to be sure of my own heart, but I do remember I didn't conciously and deliberately tell her I loved her for about a month afterwards. We've gone over it since, and although she said it did hurt, pretty deeply too, she said it was entirely worth it and she'd do it over again in a heartbeat...and it was one of the sweetest things she has ever spoken to me.
There's a whole history behind this, and it'll prolly come out in time, but I gotta to bed - I got work at 6 tomorrow morning, and it's 11:45 at night.
Laterz all...God bless and good night.
