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Upside down

jerry ralph

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“If you turn it over and don’t let go of it, you will be upside down.”
(Heard at AA meetings)

“And now I exhort you to be of good cheer.” (Acts 27:22)

Have you ever made a decision to turn over a new leaf, and found yourself back to doing the same old things? Why is it that when we want to change some aspect of our life that many of us have the tendency to bring all the old stuff along with us? I moved to the country twenty-one years ago. It had been a dream of mine to some day live in the country. I had aunts and uncles and grandparents that lived in the country and when we visited I always enjoyed walking in the woods, playing in the creek, going fishing, and just being one with nature. All of my life up to the time I was thirty-nine years old was spent living in metropolitan cities. My parents grew up in the country and like many rural people after World War II they moved to, and worked in the city. In 1985 I had a chance to buy some of the family farm that my mother was raised on, and I jumped at the opportunity. It was like a dream coming true. I picked a spot in a small clearing in the timber to make my home. I purchased a mobile home, cleared a six hundred foot path for the power lines to come through, had a well drilled, and put in a septic tank. To get to where I lived I had to drive to the end of a gravel road, turn onto the property and drive about a quarter mile on an old wagon trail, up hill and through the timber, to get to my homestead. Some of the local people asked me why I had not built closer to the county road. I had no answer other than that I had lived next to streets and roads all of my life and wanted to be in the country. That first winter I began to see things differently. My cars would not make it up the hill in the snow, and I had to park about a half mile away from home to ensure not getting stuck. Then the spring came with joyous expectancy only to bring ticks, chiggers, wasps, hornets, flies, skunks, opossums, foxes, and raccoons. I had purchased a few calves and some chickens to raise, and found that it was a full time job tending to all their needs. After the first year of my country experience I found myself homesick for the city. I missed the hustle and bustle of life. I missed the constant sound of people and traffic. I missed the convenience of traveling only a few minutes and being able to get anything I needed. I missed people! I found myself at times driving down to where I could see the highway and just sitting and watching the cars go by. I had turned over a new leaf and had not let go. I found myself upside down. It took several more years to adjust and today I would not trade my rural lifestyle. The point is that I was just not ready to turn over a new leaf when I did. I found some of these same effects to be true when it came my walk with the Lord. I wanted freedom from sin in my life and forgiveness, but wanted to hold on to some of my old resentments. I became upside down. When I found myself in the grips of terminal alcoholism and drug addiction, I wanted to be set free, but tried to hold on to old using buddies and that care-free lifestyle. I found myself upside down. Today I realize that when I turn it over I must let go…………and let God have it. God’s desire is for me to be set free from sin and self, but to be set-free I’ve got to let go. I heard someone say once that we need to hold on to things loosely, because it hurts when God pries our fingers away from it. Today may I learn to turn over selfishness and self-centeredness to God. When I do, I find that God is doing for me what I could not do for myself…………………JRE