update :

ive came a long way . i remember days where death seemed better than life , where doubts would flood whenever i tried to read the Bible , when intrusive thoughts would raid my mind about the Lord , sexual thoughts , disrespectful vile thoughts . days where i would curl up and cry myself to sleep because for that moment they were gone . late nights and fear , panic attacks . fear id comittied the unpardinable sin , intrusive thoughts regarding family and others on the street . i couldn't love myself , i couldn't laugh . but Jesus carried me . through Him i was able to make it each day . no it didn't go away when i wanted it but now i have days where a bad thought will come and it feel awkward instead of normal . thank God ! no i didn't take medicine and im in no fashion denouncing it, but i kept praying and praising and worshiping and reading His Word and going to church . but the power wasn't in me, but in God . just wanted to encourage you all . we may suffer from the same thing but we are all different and we each have our testimonies but Jesus is key . in Him there's peace, joy unexplainable, love, healing . continue to hold fast to Him. only He knows why one suffered for 10 years and another for 2 years and so on but don't get bitter with Him . we each have our cross to bear . He knows best . had it not been for this i wouldn't have known Him as i do know and true faith based off of His word and experience and not feelings . praise God . hold fast saints , hold fast . Jesus is real . He won't let anything take you away from Him . He loves you . peace and love my brothers and sisters in Christ . today He told me my faith will not fail me . He is with me to deliver me wherever I go . I believe it . claim your victory in Jesus name . claim your joy in Jesus , your peace of mind . o thank God, praying for you all daily

to God be the glory . He will work it out for you . just believe . remember faith as small as mustard seeds can move mountains . some days i even felt like my faith was slipping but He carried me through , He will do the same for you. our God is an awesome God o trust in His mighty name He will reign for evermore amen .

@ just passing through 21 -- we're all different , we all have different levels of faith , different fears , etc but the Lord works it out as He sees fit . its been close to a year , o the pain felt unbearable , my joy constantly sucked up , but He gave me relief and peace in my situation , not outside of it . i heard TD Jakes preach about the woman who was loosed , even though she didn't seem loosed Jesus spoke it and it passed . also remember Chris Williams talking about Hagar and Ishmial ( sp ) even though He didn't remove them from the situation He gave them strength to endure . God knows , and He shall deliver in due season . Keep the faith my brother in Christ . o magnify the Lord with me !

@ peacedove and OCDS -- bless you , don't throw in the towel . All things work together for our good . thats the kind of God we serve . He can make the moments that are meant to break us the ones that elevate us . glory

@ kaykay & loveAdoni -- bless you my Fathers children , God can keep , we're in Jesus hands

praise God . thank Him for the victory because you know you're coming out . we can't lose .