Upcoming Holidays

[Nancy333]

My husband passed away earlier this year, and I must admit, the upcoming holidays are really scaring me. It doesn't help much that the day before Thanksgiving would've been our 26th wedding anniversery. For those of you who have been through this, could you please let me know how you got through this time and for those who are in the same position as me if you could tell me how you plan to cope? I am surrounding myself with family, but then the results are always the same, I end up alone. That's the hard part. Your insights would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and God Bless you all.

 

[ComesoonmyLORD]

Nancy333- This will be my first Christmas without Ginger. I have four children, so most of my focus will be on them of course. We are releasing balloons on Christmas Day. Each balloon will have a letter written to her from one of the children. For me I've planned on some work with our church group to support many less fortunate during the holidays. Now it all boils down to the late nights just before and just after. The times when everyone has gone, the kids are asleep, and its just me. You know it's not just me though. I plan on having a lot of prayer, singing and study time for those moments.

 

[Nancy333]

Thank you for your insight ComesoonmyLORD. I have 3 daughters, the two oldest have moved out. Now, it's just my youngest and myself. So much has changed this last year.

 

[faithgoeson]

My husband passed away earlier this year, and I must admit, the upcoming holidays are really scaring me. It doesn't help much that the day before Thanksgiving would've been our 26th wedding anniversery. For those of you who have been through this, could you please let me know how you got through this time and for those who are in the same position as me if you could tell me how you plan to cope? I am surrounding myself with family, but then the results are always the same, I end up alone. That's the hard part. Your insights would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and God Bless you all.

One thing to remember as a general rule is the holiday itself will never be as bad as we fear it will be. The days leading up to it are almost always worse. Your family will be busy with holiday activity. You may or may not benefit from this. If you feel overwhelmed by all the "happiness", just quietly excuse yourself and go home and relax. I had to do this on some of those first holidays. You sit there resenting everyone for being happy, and that's no way to be, but it can't be helped. One of the best things I learned to do was come up with new traditions, especially ones that involved helping those in worse positions than I. It also might help you to feel closer to your husband if you spend time with his relatives, co-workers, or friends. Most importantly, spend time with God. I know you will. He is our Comforter. Let your church give you some assignments to keep you busy. I'm praying for you.

 

[faithgoeson]

Nancy333- This will be my first Christmas without Ginger. I have four children, so most of my focus will be on them of course. We are releasing balloons on Christmas Day. Each balloon will have a letter written to her from one of the children. For me I've planned on some work with our church group to support many less fortunate during the holidays. Now it all boils down to the late nights just before and just after. The times when everyone has gone, the kids are asleep, and its just me. You know it's not just me though. I plan on having a lot of prayer, singing and study time for those moments.

My heart aches for you and your children. Those first years are so very hard. Just keep smiling during the day, and going to Jesus during the lonely nights. The kids will need some sense of normalcy, if that can be obtained at all. I'm glad to see you using the balloons. My girls look forward to this every year. I do, too. Giving to others will make you feel good at a time when you are feeling your worst. It's like laughter through tears. It's a good thing. For Thanksgiving, my girls and I drive women and children from a domestic violence shelter to and from dinner at a local church. This will be our 4th this year. There's a shelter nearby that has no staff on holidays, so women with no transportation have no way to go anywhere. It is so rewarding! We usually get invited to sit and eat, too. And, you can never go wrong with food made by church ladies! The first holidays, I was with his family a lot because they were hurting as much as I. It was hard to look around and not see him, though. Now, we just do our own thing. It's much simpler and much more rewarding. We'll be in continous prayer for all here.

 

[Nancy333]

Aww, thank you so much for the ideas. Right now, I can't help but be a little leery of this time of year. I'm going to try with all my might (with the Lord) to get through this time. Again thank you for such wonderful.

 

[smiledaily]

The first year I spent the holidays making it a happy time for my children, and helping them through the tough moments, there was plenty of smiles and laughter. I think just doing things we loved, playing games, talking about the good, funny moments we had, letting them help cook, just being a family helped.

 

[Nancy333]

With my family, my 2 oldest are on their own now, so now that just leaves my daughter who's 15 and myself. So she's not little either. The hardest part is on the 21st would be 5 months of his passing, 22nd would be our anniversery and the 23rd Thanksgiving. I'm sorry for this pity party, it's just that it's not the same without my husband.

 

[JeanR]

Fortunately, my children are all in their 20's. Some still living at home and some on their own. My daughter and her husband will be coming home from Germany the day after Christmas. We are going to wait until she gets back and celebrate Christmas on the 26th.

My kids were very young when my father died and they had such a tough time. It was also hard trying to deal with the grief of my father's death and trying to help my children through their grief. This is different, though. We are all hurting and we are all there for each other. I love my kids. They are the greatest.

I dread the holidays. My mother-in-law has become very clinging to me and is insisting that the kids and I spend every waking moment with her. I know this is going to make the holidays even more stressful. She seems to be afraid that I will walk out of her life. I don't plan on doing that, but she is overpowering me. I can't handle my grief and hers, too. She has not been very kind to me over the years and now tells me that I am her daughter and she loves me. Please pray that I have wisdom in dealing with this situation.