Unsupportive friends

[TwinMommy]

I am moving within the next month. We are not moving too far where we live, about 45 minutes away. I have been with my church for about a year and a half. I plan on(and am already searching) going to a different church. I personally like to be at church as often as possible, I want to be able to get together with my brothers and sisters as often as possible. Well some of my friends from church as not so understanding about this. They feel that I should make the drive. I don't just want to drive over on Sunday morning and that be it. I find it very important to be of a community. I don't know how to make them understand. One of my friends used the fact that my husband drives all over the place for work, that I can for church. I am also finding out that I feel God is leading me into another church for very specific reasons and that would not be accepted either. I don't want to start putting up a wall toward my friends. I love the fact that we will still be able to get together. IDK Maybe I am expecting more out of them than I should. I feel I have explained myself well and it just isn't being accepted. Do I just drop it, not mention anything else about the move, not mention anything about another church or do I continue to state my case and why I feel it is right to explore my options in the area I am moving to?

 

[Avniel]

I always say do you and those of them that are real friends would understand that you are going in a new direction and respect those that aren't your friends won't.

 

[Albion]

It's the rare person who can routinely drive 45 minutes to church, which suggests that you should find a new congregation, especially because those people who do make such a drive are not able to participate in other church functions like choir practice, midweek services, etc. However, you could show up occasionally and hope that your friends become more reasonable about this in time.

 

[madetoworship]

Your friend should understand that it would be more beneficial for you to find a church closer to where you live and live in community like you said.

You can show them this chapter of how the early church congregated and did "church".

Acts 2:42-47

"42 They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43 Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. 44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

Acts 4:32-35

"32 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. 33 With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all 34 that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales 35 and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need."

 

[TwinMommy]

Yeah I guess it is a way to show me true friends. I do plan on coming back here and there. Those are very good scriptures. Thank you.

 

[madetoworship]

Yeah I guess it is a way to show me true friends. I do plan on coming back here and there. Those are very good scriptures. Thank you.

Your welcome! Good luck. May God bless your journey and new relationships with brothers and sisters.

 

[StarBright]

It's honestly none of their business, which body of believers you belong to. Moving 45 minutes away might seem like nothing to them, but time is precious in our busy society, not to mention the cost of gas, and the wear & tear on a vehicle by adding 1.5 hours of extra driving per week. I know you also have personal reasons for feeling that you need to make this change.

We're all one body in Christ. Whether you worship with them or another group of Christians, you're still part of the family. I can understand if they're going to miss you, and their chiding is good natured and friendly, like they just don't want you to go because they love you. But if it's condemning or harsh or critical, that's just not right.

I hope they come to accept your decisions, and I hope you're able to remain close with your old and new church families in the days to come.

 

[TwinMommy]

It's honestly none of their business, which body of believers you belong to. Moving 45 minutes away might seem like nothing to them, but time is precious in our busy society, not to mention the cost of gas, and the wear & tear on a vehicle by adding 1.5 hours of extra driving per week. I know you also have personal reasons for feeling that you need to make this change.

We're all one body in Christ. Whether you worship with them or another group of Christians, you're still part of the family. I can understand if they're going to miss you, and their chiding is good natured and friendly, like they just don't want you to go because they love you. But if it's condemning or harsh or critical, that's just not right.

I hope they come to accept your decisions, and I hope you're able to remain close with your old and new church families in the days to come.

It would be a lot more than the 1.5 hours. Prayer meeting Monday evening, Bible study Wed morning, Bible study Wed night and then Sunday. My closest friend is being hard on me about it. I know it is because she loves me but I still don't feel that being pressured into staying is the right thing. God has given me a lot of peace about the whole thing and I have been able to get to where I need to be because of that. I am really excited about this and I guess I expected my friends to feel the same way, and I guess I shouldn't.

 

[Spunkn]

My family and I drive about 30 minutes to church every Sunday. It was a big decision for my parents however to choose this church, because of the distance. While they like the church much better, it's much harder to get involved during the week and other activities because it is further away.

So being closer to a church, definately has an advantage and I think your friends should respect that. It's not like you're never going to see them again.

In the end, it's your decision, and it's your life. God can use you in whatever church He wants, it doesn't have to be a specific one. And if you're being called to a different church, then why should your friends be upset with that? They can be upset that they might not see you as much, but that's something they can get over easily enough. They should still respect whatever decision you make if they are true friends.

 

[TwinMommy]

My family and I drive about 30 minutes to church every Sunday. It was a big decision for my parents however to choose this church, because of the distance. While they like the church much better, it's much harder to get involved during the week and other activities because it is further away.

So being closer to a church, definately has an advantage and I think your friends should respect that. It's not like you're never going to see them again.

In the end, it's your decision, and it's your life. God can use you in whatever church He wants, it doesn't have to be a specific one. And if you're being called to a different church, then why should your friends be upset with that? They can be upset that they might not see you as much, but that's something they can get over easily enough. They should still respect whatever decision you make if they are true friends.

I do feel I am being lead to a church, just as I was lead to the one I am at now. I do plan on coming back to visit and plan on still seeing my friends. I will miss my church a lot. I have grown so much there and will miss all the studies and will really miss having communion every week.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

I am moving within the next month. We are not moving too far where we live, about 45 minutes away. I have been with my church for about a year and a half. I plan on(and am already searching) going to a different church. I personally like to be at church as often as possible, I want to be able to get together with my brothers and sisters as often as possible. Well some of my friends from church as not so understanding about this. They feel that I should make the drive. I don't just want to drive over on Sunday morning and that be it. I find it very important to be of a community. I don't know how to make them understand. One of my friends used the fact that my husband drives all over the place for work, that I can for church. I am also finding out that I feel God is leading me into another church for very specific reasons and that would not be accepted either. I don't want to start putting up a wall toward my friends. I love the fact that we will still be able to get together. IDK Maybe I am expecting more out of them than I should. I feel I have explained myself well and it just isn't being accepted. Do I just drop it, not mention anything else about the move, not mention anything about another church or do I continue to state my case and why I feel it is right to explore my options in the area I am moving to?

From Gods perspective, this issue falls into the Freedom In Christ category ; that is...you are completely free to explore going to a new church especially if there are some troubling issues with the one youve been going to. Further, its up to you how deep you want to go in explaining your decision but if you do share your issues with your Friends Church which was once yours, be careful not to be too heavy-handed in what you didnt like since your Friends still find it a great Church to worship at . You can opt for no explanation or very little explanation...as you wish and as The Lord leads you after prayer about it. The bottom line is : You and your family need a well balanced Church which is fairly close by with it being an Evangelical Church that has the Gospel of Christ correct and that has many good programs/activities/serving opportunities with genuine worship being the number one criterion .

After your move, I would stay in regular contact with your Friends via phone, text, online, and in person...with emphasis on the latter . They might wonder if your move is going to reduce your time spent with them and therefore affect your friendships adversely . The key is to maintain continuity thru it all and if you feel up for it...visit your old church on occasion with your friends for a midweek service or special event/activity. Of course all of this has to be filtered thru your husband as well so you and he are on the same page. Blessings Diana.

 

[TwinMommy]

From Gods perspective, this issue falls into the Freedom In Christ category ; that is...you are completely free to explore going to a new church especially if there are some troubling issues with the one youve been going to. Further, its up to you how deep you want to go in explaining your decision but if you do share your issues with your Friends Church which was once yours, be careful not to be too heavy-handed in what you didnt like since your Friends still find it a great Church to worship at . You can opt for no explanation or very little explanation...as you wish and as The Lord leads you after prayer about it. The bottom line is : You and your family need a well balanced Church which is fairly close by with it being an Evangelical Church that has the Gospel of Christ correct and that has many good programs/activities/serving opportunities with genuine worship being the number one criterion .

After your move, I would stay in regular contact with your Friends via phone, text, online, and in person...with emphasis on the latter . They might wonder if your move is going to reduce your time spent with them and therefore affect your friendships adversely . The key is to maintain continuity thru it all and if you feel up for it...visit your old church on occasion with your friends for a midweek service or special event/activity. Of course all of this has to be filtered thru your husband as well so you and he are on the same page. Blessings Diana.

Thank you for this great advice.

 

[JCFantasy23]

They are sad to see you go, don't want you to leave, but are ultimately thinking of themselves here. Since you listed a lot of activities you're involved in with the choice, it would be very difficult for you to continue that level of involvement with that distance. I know I personally couldn't drive that far often with my car to church on a regular basis. It is an unnecessary hardship. Hopefully they understand you can still get together with them sometimes.

 

[TwinMommy]

Thank you all for such wonder insight. I really appreciate it. I am stressed enough about having to move, finding a church, finding a pre-school for my boys that added stress I can't handle. God is getting me through all of this and I feel so blessed.

 

[TheyCallMeDave]

Youre welcome.