Unforgiveness

[31gH9N.9.]

There is a fellow man in the congregation that I am a member at who I have pent up hateful thoughts towards. I have plenty of "reason's" , but it's not my desire to discuss them here, neither are they probably just anyways.
My problem is that I know it's a sin, but I can't forgive him. It's like I lack the ability to because of some great depravity of mine. I pray that I might be able to forgive him but at the same time I'm trying to find a different church to go to ( he teaches me things that I am not sure are true about scripture but it has been influencing my beliefs so I want to get away from him). He has offended me, but I know that this is no excuse and that I am living in grievous sin by feeling this way toward him.
Do you have to forgive first to be forgiven? I pray that God will help me forgive him.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I pray that God will help me forgive him.

That's all you have to do. It seems you've got the right intent, the right spirit. God will help. God Bless.

 

[RGW00]

There is a fellow man in the congregation that I am a member at who I have pent up hateful thoughts towards. I have plenty of "reason's" , but it's not my desire to discuss them here, neither are they probably just anyways.
My problem is that I know it's a sin, but I can't forgive him. It's like I lack the ability to because of some great depravity of mine. I pray that I might be able to forgive him but at the same time I'm trying to find a different church to go to ( he teaches me things that I am not sure are true about scripture but it has been influencing my beliefs so I want to get away from him). He has offended me, but I know that this is no excuse and that I am living in grievous sin by feeling this way toward him.
Do you have to forgive first to be forgiven? I pray that God will help me forgive him.

The reason that you lack the ability to forgive is because everyone lacks it. The reason we forgive something that is thought to be unforgivable is because God allowed it. If we go to God and keep praying (just as you have said) He will eventually work through you. I have said this on another thread but my pastor once told me that no matter what sin you have, if it is something you have tried to quit on your own, to let that be the sin that turns you to God.

Now, I don't know what other major sins you commit (what I mean by major is ones that impede your relationship with God) and I do not want you to tell me if you do. Just keep that in the back of your mind, the sins that you can stop on your own are obviously not ones that are impeding your path to be in the best relationship with God that you possibly can.

I know this post might seem long to get to my point, but just don't allow this to keep you from God, don't feel hopeless, rather feel hopeless in your own right and submit to God. Don't dwell on it all the time, because it's also a sin to feel guilt. If you are indeed a Christian, then God will work through you in time.

 

[Tolworth John]

I have plenty of "reason's" , but it's not my desire to discuss them here, neither are they probably just anyways.

If he has offended you but has not apologised you do not have to forgive him. /But for your peace of mind had the problem over to God.

If he has not done anything, then he does not need to apologise but you have to sort out your 'reasons' for not liking him with God.

 

[Peter J Barban]

Here are some practical things that I have done to help me forgive from my heart and not just from my mouth.

1. Bless this fellow. Pray that God will give him good things, even the very things that you want for yourself. Do not pray that God will harm or change this fellow. If you will pray for him every time you remember his offense against you, God will change your heart from hate to love, over time. In this way, I have learned to love my enemies even though they continue to hate me.

2. Remind yourself that God loves this fellow and wants what is best for him. Jesus died for this fellow and wants to use him to impact the world for the Kingdom of God. Whatever this fellow has against you, consider that there is likely a seed of truth even in lies and distortions. Learn to identify the root of this fellow's problem with you and ask God to help you deal with it. This will help you remain humble and gentle in the face of conflict.

 

[31gH9N.9.]

The reason that you lack the ability to forgive is because everyone lacks it. The reason we forgive something that is thought to be unforgivable is because God allowed it. If we go to God and keep praying (just as you have said) He will eventually work through you. I have said this on another thread but my pastor once told me that no matter what sin you have, if it is something you have tried to quit on your own, to let that be the sin that turns you to God.

Now, I don't know what other major sins you commit (what I mean by major is ones that impede your relationship with God) and I do not want you to tell me if you do. Just keep that in the back of your mind, the sins that you can stop on your own are obviously not ones that are impeding your path to be in the best relationship with God that you possibly can.

I know this post might seem long to get to my point, but just don't allow this to keep you from God, don't feel hopeless, rather feel hopeless in your own right and submit to God. Don't dwell on it all the time, because it's also a sin to feel guilt. If you are indeed a Christian, then God will work through you in time.

This is almost exactly along the lines of how I've been feeling about the matter. This being seemingly impossible has brought the suggestion to my heart to draw nearer to God.

 

[2win]

If he has offended you but has not apologised you do not have to forgive him. /But for your peace of mind had the problem over to God.

If he has not done anything, then he does not need to apologise but you have to sort out your 'reasons' for not liking him with God.[/QU

 

[2win]

Luke 17: 3-4

 

[FanthatSpark]

Mind loops are awesome in complexity . Who teaches you judgment? You put this problem to the offender in a letter (or face to face) and give them the chance too...

Running will not help your mind. I know this is not what you want to hear but platitudes to this problem will not help you. So, some real talk on a real problem on a mind at enmity of itself. Whoever is teaching you judgment needs to look inside of theirselves. We do not posses righteousness but use it as a measuring stick to another to keep self feeling good in measuring sin = judgment. As you are aware of scripture negating what you "want' to do... Run. It will not heal the mind.

If there is no room in heaven for him/her is there room for you? In hopes this edifies .

 

[31gH9N.9.]

Mind loops are awesome in complexity . Who teaches you judgment? You put this problem to the offender in a letter (or face to face) and give them the chance too...

Running will not help your mind. I know this is not what you want to hear but platitudes to this problem will not help you. So, some real talk on a real problem on a mind at enmity of itself. Whoever is teaching you judgment needs to look inside of theirselves. We do not posses righteousness but use it as a measuring stick to another to keep self feeling good in measuring sin = judgment. As you are aware of scripture negating what you "want' to do... Run. It will not heal the mind.

If there is no room in heaven for him/her is there room for you? In hopes this edifies .

I've been convicted somewhere along these lines, which has convinced me to stay. He apologized for any wrong he's done me last Sunday before I even had a chance to tell him anything, do whatever he has done to me I feel I no longer hold against him, although when I get a chance I will tell him what exactly had offended me just so he knows and doesn't do it again. It wad partly my fault because I should have told him the first time.