Unable to clean house (even though I want to)

[stella55]

Hello everyone,

So I just had an interesting observation about my OCD.

So, we all know the stereotype that is so common in flims and tv shows, that people with OCD are these hygiene freaks that clean their houses 24/7, right?
Well, I just came to the conclusion that cleaning actually makes me even more anxious. I noticed that very often I procrastinate cleaning or tidying up because, paradoxically, it makes me feel more dirty than clean.
That is because I have very strong dirt/bacteria/contamination fears and I often feel as if by cleaning something, I'm actually spreading the dirt/bacteria or whatever even more.
For example, I am just done cleaning my clogged sink. It tends to become clogged because of the soap/hair etc. gathering in the pipes, and so the pipes need to be taken apart and cleaned about every 6 months. But instead of feeling relieved that I'm finally done with this task, I am actually feeling extremely anxious because I feel like the dirt from the pipes has spread around the bathroom and onto my clothes, and who knows what kind of bacteria there is!
So I've began to feverishly clean my whole bathroom now even though I hadn't planned to do it today. I feel extremely tired and exhausted, and am now anxious about possibly contracting some kind of disease from the bacteria I could have touched.
(I've done the pipe cleaning hundreds of times before and was never this worried, but maybe it's the current pandemic that's making me so paranoid about everything).

So all in all, I *want* to clean my house and I want to live in a clean environment, but cleaning often makes me feel miserable afterwards. I have neglected some corners of my house because of this reason and I feel like a lazy slob for doing so and am actually angry with myself, but I don't know what to do about it.

Has anyone else encountered the same problem? Do you have any advice for me?

 

[ReesePiece23]

I've been EXACTLY where you are. I was like one of those hoarders you see on TV - somehow (miraculously) I worked for a week straight, to empty the place out. But only when I was planning to move out and get away from it. I was tidally locked with my thought patterns - I'd still be in it now if I hadn't moved.

You might have the same problem I had: I rebelled against OCD so badly, that I became the very thing I was once afraid of becoming! This is were moderation is a wonderful thing - for having been on both ends of the spectrum, the only thing I want now is moderation.

It's okay to leave things until the last minute, if it isn't urgent. But it's also okay to just clean as you go along. Neither one HAS to be a live or die situation, it's just a mindless activity. It doesn't mean anything.

I'm now contently messy, but reasonably clean.

 

[bèlla]

Check out Flylady. She has a grace-filled approach to housekeeping.

I was very fastidious. I used a bristle brush to clean the floor and stood on tables to wash the windows. I tidied every room before bed and didn’t retire until midnight after a long day of work and caretaking.

When I fell ill my mother came by to help. She was appalled at my routine and purchased a mop immediately. I had to accommodate my physical limitations. I’m better now and my newest irritant is clutter but I’m not a minimalist.

I’ve reached the point where I realize I thrive in an orderly environment. I have to photograph my home for work. But I sense the Lord asking me to remove this from my plate. I enjoy homemaking. But I need to focus on managing the process instead of the heavy lifting. I can put my energy to better pursuits.

~Bella

 

[Mari17]

Hello everyone,

So I just had an interesting observation about my OCD.

So, we all know the stereotype that is so common in flims and tv shows, that people with OCD are these hygiene freaks that clean their houses 24/7, right?
Well, I just came to the conclusion that cleaning actually makes me even more anxious. I noticed that very often I procrastinate cleaning or tidying up because, paradoxically, it makes me feel more dirty than clean.
That is because I have very strong dirt/bacteria/contamination fears and I often feel as if by cleaning something, I'm actually spreading the dirt/bacteria or whatever even more.
For example, I am just done cleaning my clogged sink. It tends to become clogged because of the soap/hair etc. gathering in the pipes, and so the pipes need to be taken apart and cleaned about every 6 months. But instead of feeling relieved that I'm finally done with this task, I am actually feeling extremely anxious because I feel like the dirt from the pipes has spread around the bathroom and onto my clothes, and who knows what kind of bacteria there is!
So I've began to feverishly clean my whole bathroom now even though I hadn't planned to do it today. I feel extremely tired and exhausted, and am now anxious about possibly contracting some kind of disease from the bacteria I could have touched.
(I've done the pipe cleaning hundreds of times before and was never this worried, but maybe it's the current pandemic that's making me so paranoid about everything).

So all in all, I *want* to clean my house and I want to live in a clean environment, but cleaning often makes me feel miserable afterwards. I have neglected some corners of my house because of this reason and I feel like a lazy slob for doing so and am actually angry with myself, but I don't know what to do about it.

Has anyone else encountered the same problem? Do you have any advice for me?

I've done this before! If I have to do something that will trigger my obsession, sometimes I put it off because trying to do it is too tiring and I feel like I don't know how to do it. In fact, I put off wiping off my counter today because I'd set a chipped pan on it, and I obsess about glass so I felt it would take me forever to clean it. The key, of course, is to NOT do what the OCD wants, and only do as much as a normal person would do. Sometimes I ask for someone else's opinion - someone who doesn't have OCD, I mean - and try to do what they would do and just leave it at that, even if I'm still anxious. The only way to overcome OCD, anyway, is to let ourselves be anxious WITHOUT giving into compulsions.

 

[Tolworth John]

*want* to clean my house and I want to live in a clean environment, but cleaning often makes me feel miserable afterwards

Standard reply. What does your therapist say about these practises, how are you advised to handle them?

Please read the 25 tips to get some additional practical advice.


If you need to take drainage pipes apart in order to clean them, either you are using the wrong products or you need to talk urgently to test a plumber and then to your therapist.

Bathroom drainage pipes do not need to be taken apart to clean them.

 

[stella55]

Thank you all your replies and your support. Very interesting how we all have different stories that are still somehow similar.

I was in a very dark place for the last couple of days. My anxiety got so bad that I reached a point where I felt like everything in my house is dirty and contaminated, and I was afraid to touch almost anything. I reached my breaking point yesterday when I thought that a strand of my hair might have touched the toilet bowl while I was cleaning it (pretty sure it didn't, but my OCD kept me convincing otherwise), so I kept washing that one strand of hair with soap for a half hour and even considered washing my whole head again even though I had showered just earlier that day.

However, I then realised that I need to stop and snap out of it. In the end, what helps me most with any obsession is a "so what?" - attitude. When I get so tired and exhausted from my intrusive thoughts, I end up being indifferent. So I thought to myself, "well, maybe I will get some kind of disease from those germs. I'll just face the risk". And that actually helped, today I was able to carry out the tasks that I had planned. And, paradoxically, the "dirtier" I got, the more relaxed I felt and the easier it was for me to do those tasks.

I've been EXACTLY where you are. I was like one of those hoarders you see on TV - somehow (miraculously) I worked for a week straight, to empty the place out. But only when I was planning to move out and get away from it.

That's interesting! I used a similar method once where I imagined that I had to move to a new place, so that helped me de-clutter a little. I also have a bit of a hoarding problem, I tend to form an emotional bond to some items or clothes, and have a rough time throwing things away. It has gotten better now though, I eventually learned to let go of stuff.

The key, of course, is to NOT do what the OCD wants, and only do as much as a normal person would do. Sometimes I ask for someone else's opinion - someone who doesn't have OCD, I mean - and try to do what they would do and just leave it at that, even if I'm still anxious. The only way to overcome OCD, anyway, is to let ourselves be anxious WITHOUT giving into compulsions.

That is a good advice. Sometimes I do phone some friends I trust and ask their opinions, because I want a pragmatic insight. But sometimes I just don't want to bother them and some of the problems we face might be difficult to understand for "normal" people, so they might react in a weird way.

 

[SeekingGloryOnThisJourney]

Hello everyone,

So I just had an interesting observation about my OCD.

So, we all know the stereotype that is so common in flims and tv shows, that people with OCD are these hygiene freaks that clean their houses 24/7, right?
Well, I just came to the conclusion that cleaning actually makes me even more anxious. I noticed that very often I procrastinate cleaning or tidying up because, paradoxically, it makes me feel more dirty than clean.
That is because I have very strong dirt/bacteria/contamination fears and I often feel as if by cleaning something, I'm actually spreading the dirt/bacteria or whatever even more.
For example, I am just done cleaning my clogged sink. It tends to become clogged because of the soap/hair etc. gathering in the pipes, and so the pipes need to be taken apart and cleaned about every 6 months. But instead of feeling relieved that I'm finally done with this task, I am actually feeling extremely anxious because I feel like the dirt from the pipes has spread around the bathroom and onto my clothes, and who knows what kind of bacteria there is!
So I've began to feverishly clean my whole bathroom now even though I hadn't planned to do it today. I feel extremely tired and exhausted, and am now anxious about possibly contracting some kind of disease from the bacteria I could have touched.
(I've done the pipe cleaning hundreds of times before and was never this worried, but maybe it's the current pandemic that's making me so paranoid about everything).

So all in all, I *want* to clean my house and I want to live in a clean environment, but cleaning often makes me feel miserable afterwards. I have neglected some corners of my house because of this reason and I feel like a lazy slob for doing so and am actually angry with myself, but I don't know what to do about it.

Has anyone else encountered the same problem? Do you have any advice for me?

Struggling with the exact same problem.
I’ve legit cried over it.
I just can’t seem to clean my closet without being really anxious.
Just try it in sections.
You will do one part of this room.
It helps a bit.