Ummm...

Jedi Amy · Aug 14, 2006

This is something that's been bothering me for a while now, but I didn't wanna ask any of my family members or real life friends because I was scared of what they might think.

It seems like the last few months in addition to be attracted to guys I also seem to be attracted to girls in the same way. I don't want to be and I've been trying to ignore it and say that it's nothing but it's not going away. I'm just wondering if that has happened to anyone else. I mean, is it normal for girls to do this after hitting puperty or am I just werid??

Katieboo · Aug 14, 2006

In several books I have read about puberty (my mom isn't the talking-to-me about that kind of stuff type) it has said that attraction toward the same sex during puberty is normal and most likely you will grow out of it.
Whether it's right or not isn't the question here, but yeah, if you read books on puberty, they'll tell you it's normal.

posion ivy · Aug 14, 2006

yea alot of kids go through that during puberty its perfectly normal

Johnnz · Aug 15, 2006

You are OK. Many girls your age have the same sort of feelings. Concentrate of being yourself, develop good friendships with both sexes, do productive, interesting things. I am sure you will discover that you are a noraml hereosexual person.

John
NZ

Jedi Amy · Aug 16, 2006

So it's really normal then? That's good to hear I guess. My mom always that that homosexuality is something that people choose but I guess it could be something that alot of girls struggle with.

Is there anyone who's been through the same thing who knows how to deal with it? I don't have any doubts that it's wrong but it's still really hard sometimes.

Johnnz · Aug 16, 2006

You just have to recognise that the female body has been sexualised by society, and can therefore have some attraction for women too. Just don't act on any feelings or assume you are bisexual an dget on with living in a healthy way.

John
NZ

SmackYouTwice · Aug 18, 2006

Yeah, don't act. And PRAY! PRAY PRAY PRAY!

I got myself into a mess... I didn't seek God one bit through it all. *sigh* I'll pray for you... cuz I don't want you to feel how I am or go through what I am.

Akathist · Aug 18, 2006

Jedi Amy said:
So it's really normal then? That's good to hear I guess. My mom always that that homosexuality is something that people choose but I guess it could be something that alot of girls struggle with.

Is there anyone who's been through the same thing who knows how to deal with it? I don't have any doubts that it's wrong but it's still really hard sometimes.

Jedi, my advice to you is for you to talk to your youth pastor or minister or Priest about this. If it is too weird because they happen to be men, then talk to a trusted and good Christian woman. There is great healing in talking face to face about such matters even though they are uncomfortable.

Anything worthwhile takes hard work, remember? Well this will take hard work for you to talk about with a trusted Christian woman.

At the same time, I really firmly believe that what you are going through is perfectly normal and does not mean you are a homosexual.

CF does not allow members to endorce homosexuality in this are of CF. But I do believe that homosexual behavior is a choice. I also believe it is not uncommon to have some same sex attractions. The right thing to do however, is to shrug them off and focus on becoming stronger Christians and walking with Christ.

Jedi Amy · Sep 7, 2006

I thought this would go away but with school starting it seems to just be getting worse and worse now. I'll spare everyone the story of how it happened but I ended up kissing anther girl yesterday I knew it was wrong but at the time I just told myself it wasn't, now I regret it more then anything.

I'm gonna prey about it tonight, but I dont know how I'll be able to give it up! I really need any advice I get get because I'm still too scared to talk to anyone in real life about it.

SmackYouTwice · Sep 13, 2006

Jedi Amy said:
I thought this would go away but with school starting it seems to just be getting worse and worse now. I'll spare everyone the story of how it happened but I ended up kissing anther girl yesterday I knew it was wrong but at the time I just told myself it wasn't, now I regret it more then anything.

I'm gonna prey about it tonight, but I dont know how I'll be able to give it up! I really need any advice I get get because I'm still too scared to talk to anyone in real life about it.

Hey, let us know how prayer went. I will pray too!

And, you don't have to answer, but was this kiss a kiss on the lips (...maybe like some people do with their grandmother, or mother for that matter)... or more-so of a kiss?

I can relate to your situation. I have struggled with same sex attraction... but I knew it was wrong, so nothing ever came of it. I figured it was normal, and yeah... shrugged it off. Until... an older woman kissed me on the lips. She didn't mean anything by it... she does this with her family. It made me get all tingly... totally in the flesh!! It wasn't right. *sigh*

I think a problem teens make for themselves (atleast the girls) that that they think showing affection by pecking eachother on the lips is okay... and I don't think it is. My friend was innocent in it all, but she had no idea what it did to me. And then there's that "if i say something, she'll stop.. but I don't want her to.. oh, but I DO.. no.. i don't..." BAH!!! =P

Yeah, even before the older woman kiss, I had a very good friend of mine kiss me on the lips... on a few occassions. I was able to control my feelings/flesh and not think anything of it. It's not easy tho!!

GirlofGod33 · Sep 20, 2006

Jedi Amy said:
So it's really normal then? That's good to hear I guess. My mom always that that homosexuality is something that people choose but I guess it could be something that alot of girls struggle with.

Is there anyone who's been through the same thing who knows how to deal with it? I don't have any doubts that it's wrong but it's still really hard sometimes.

Don't worry. Just pray to God. He'll bring you through it. Just keeping watching Him, and sinful thoughts tend to fade, even a bit, a little at a time. Then you have the strength to turn away and not look back.

I understand what you mean. This sort of thing happens to everyone from time to time, it seems.
I really like guys, for sure. I look forward to the day I find the Christian man I want to marry. I really do. It's something I hope for all the time, that I will finally find my "Prince Charming."

But occasionally, I will watch a movie or something, and think, "Wow, that actress is stunning/so cool!" Then I automatically feel guilty, like I shouldn't be thinking such a thing. When such a thing does happen, I noticed it seems to be with a character who is a major tomboy or something. Why? Because it's like she's "a boy." She isn't, but she's acting like one. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't know if I'm making any sense. The media distorts the image of girls, too, and that's what sometimes confuses folks into feeling things they normally wouldn't.

I think at times, sometimes we also perhaps overreact, and read too much into things. I know I do all the time. It's hard not to. I'm horribly OCD at times. I dwell on stuff and turn it into a matter bigger than it is.

Sometimes a sin can creep into your life without you realizing it. It will smack you in the face, and you're like, "Where did that come from?" And sometimes, even a long time after you've triumphed over a sin, sometimes it will sneak back and try to trick you again. The most important thing is to stare it in the eye and never back down. You, with God's help, are much bigger than this sin.

ttreg · Sep 20, 2006

Jedi Amy said:
This is something that's been bothering me for a while now, but I didn't wanna ask any of my family members or real life friends because I was scared of what they might think.

It seems like the last few months in addition to be attracted to guys I also seem to be attracted to girls in the same way. I don't want to be and I've been trying to ignore it and say that it's nothing but it's not going away. I'm just wondering if that has happened to anyone else. I mean, is it normal for girls to do this after hitting puperty or am I just werid??

believe me i know what your going through im going through the same thing but in reverse:suppose to be attracted to girls but attracted to males too

mebby02 · Sep 23, 2006

don't worry hun its perfectly normal nothing wrong with that your young and your still getting to know who you are. Don't tell your family quite yet about this
God bless

Woodsy · Oct 1, 2006

I strongly believe that women are just more naturally warm and affectionate, generally speaking. And these affectionate feelings can be mistaken for erotic feelings when you are young, especially during the middle teens. Women relate to each other in a completely different way than men relate to each other.

What you must realize, though, is that how you handle these feelings will determine what eventually becomes of them. If you encourage the thoughts instead of diverting them (i.e. - fixating on them) or if you continue to act out these thoughts, you will be encouraging the thoughts to become more long-lasting and to lead you onto a path of emptiness and shame.

There are even straight people who have some degree of homosexual attraction, but they don't fixate on those thoughts and don't act them out. Thus they can have happy, fulfilled lives with families and a strong relationship with Christ - they are not missing anything by not indulging those thoughts and not acting on them.

Society tells you that you can't know whether or not you like something unless you try it first. This is just plain wrong. As a person who is in middle-age, I can tell you that there are about a dozen things from my middle teen years that I wish I could un-do. Whatever you do today will be with you for the rest of your life.

Fixate on the Lord, read His word, and pray a whole lot. These things will keep you and nourish you.

You're in my prayers. God bless you as you work this stuff out.

chloeobrien · Oct 2, 2006

Well, I had thoughts for the longest times about kissing, and having sex, with girls and having girl friends. After a while I started doing those things and called myself bi. After I met my fiancee Anthony, those thoughts and feelings I had just disappeared for them and only there for him, and very strongly for him. Now, I'm no longer attracted to girls, and don't do anything with them and say committed to Anthony. It can be very confusing and frustrating growing up at times, but you will get though it.

FallingWaters · Oct 3, 2006

Domi_Adsum_05 said:
I strongly believe that women are just more naturally warm and affectionate, generally speaking. And these affectionate feelings can be mistaken for erotic feelings when you are young, especially during the middle teens. Women relate to each other in a completely different way than men relate to each other.

What you must realize, though, is that how you handle these feelings will determine what eventually becomes of them. If you encourage the thoughts instead of diverting them (i.e. - fixating on them) or if you continue to act out these thoughts, you will be encouraging the thoughts to become more long-lasting and to lead you onto a path of emptiness and shame.

There are even straight people who have some degree of homosexual attraction, but they don't fixate on those thoughts and don't act them out. Thus they can have happy, fulfilled lives with families and a strong relationship with Christ - they are not missing anything by not indulging those thoughts and not acting on them.

Society tells you that you can't know whether or not you like something unless you try it first. This is just plain wrong. As a person who is in middle-age, I can tell you that there are about a dozen things from my middle teen years that I wish I could un-do. Whatever you do today will be with you for the rest of your life.

Fixate on the Lord, read His word, and pray a whole lot. These things will keep you and nourish you.

You're in my prayers. God bless you as you work this stuff out.

This is an excellent post and I agree completely.

In the olden days (when I was a kid) society didn't encourage you to act on homosexual thoughts, so people didn't for the most part, and the feelings went away. Nowadays, our society is trying to convince us we should try it if we want to. And so I think the reason you kissed that girl is because the society around you has told you it's okay. But the fact that you are sorry about it now goes to show that you really ought not to violate your conscience any more with that kind of behavior.

chloeobrien said:
Well, I had thoughts for the longest times about kissing, and having sex, with girls and having girl friends. After a while I started doing those things and called myself bi. After I met my fiancee Anthony, those thoughts and feelings I had just disappeared for them and only there for him, and very strongly for him. Now, I'm no longer attracted to girls, and don't do anything with them and say committed to Anthony. It can be very confusing and frustrating growing up at times, but you will get though it.

This post here is an example of what I am saying. Be wise. Don't go any further down that road.

I remember having desire for woman's affection. Many times the desire was very strong. At that time I remember reading that my desire possibly stemmed from the lack of affection from my mother.

What I really craved was my mother's love. What I really craved was safe love. I wanted to be held, to be cuddled, to be petted, just as an affectionate mother lovingly does to her children. It was never a desire for sex. I didn't want to give myself away physically just for a taste of being loved emotionally. It was a desire to feel loved. In fact, I have read that most lesbian relationships are not so much about the sex as they are about the emotional bond.

I have since learned how to enter into an intimate relationship with God and have my emotional needs met by Him. Once I had a vision of Jesus' face and the word "Unconditional" was impressed upon my heart and I began to feel an outpouring of the Unconditional Love of Jesus. I cried for 15 minutes! I haven't been the same since. I am loved by Jesus! He became a real person to me that day- someone with real feelings. Now when I read about Him, I am reading about someone I know, someone who loves me, and who I love.

I hope and pray that God would make Himself real to you, and that He would fill the empty place in you that is craving to be loved.

plspray4me · Oct 11, 2006

SmackYouTwice said:
Hey, let us know how prayer went. I will pray too!

And, you don't have to answer, but was this kiss a kiss on the lips (...maybe like some people do with their grandmother, or mother for that matter)... or more-so of a kiss?

I can relate to your situation. I have struggled with same sex attraction... but I knew it was wrong, so nothing ever came of it. I figured it was normal, and yeah... shrugged it off. Until... an older woman kissed me on the lips. She didn't mean anything by it... she does this with her family. It made me get all tingly... totally in the flesh!! It wasn't right. *sigh*

I think a problem teens make for themselves (atleast the girls) that that they think showing affection by pecking eachother on the lips is okay... and I don't think it is. My friend was innocent in it all, but she had no idea what it did to me. And then there's that "if i say something, she'll stop.. but I don't want her to.. oh, but I DO.. no.. i don't..." BAH!!! =P

Yeah, even before the older woman kiss, I had a very good friend of mine kiss me on the lips... on a few occassions. I was able to control my feelings/flesh and not think anything of it. It's not easy tho!!

I hear ya! Thanks for sharing!

6Dam6ien6 · Oct 13, 2006

Oi, having feelings for either side isn't bad at all, no matter your age. Whether you act on it is up to you, and shouldn't be decided by a book that someone tells you to read or forces down your throat. When hitting puberty, yes, you do tend to be sexually attracted to anything within your grasp. Personally, I find it fun, but, hey, I'm free from your silly dogmas. I can take things lightly and see what needs to be done and when, while you all have to spend hours looking through an ancient and outdated book to find some 'scripture' that somewhat partially MIGHT resemble the events in your life that you need solving rather than trying to figure it out on your own. Instead of living your life, you've become living books. Stop it.

akaibara · Oct 15, 2006

GirlofGod33 said:
But occasionally, I will watch a movie or something, and think, "Wow, that actress is stunning/so cool!" Then I automatically feel guilty, like I shouldn't be thinking such a thing.

Wow, I think you've been brainwashed! There's nothing wrong with admiring someone! Thinking someone is cool has nothing to do with homosexuality...

peacechild4 · Nov 9, 2006

God forgives you!! Isn't that wonderful to know!!

Remember in a world where there is good and evil.. God has a plan for us.. and that plan is for man and woman to be for one another..

But there is an evil one at work... he wants to stop Gods perfect plan.. so he will put thoughts in our minds.. thoughts for the opposite sex.. because that goes clear against Gods plan..

Just because these thoughts come to your mind.. does not mean they are from you!! Rest on that thought.. The evil one.. satan.. works using our minds.. and you can see in the world.. many are falling for his tricks..

Confess your sin.. that you feel guilty for.. to God.. and resist further thoughts about girls and do not act on what you are feeling right now.. Ask God to help you!!

I am a married woman.. and happy with my husband.. but yet satan has brought these thoughts to my mind too.. It is normal in that it happens to us.. but we don't have to entertain these thoughts in our minds just because they come and certainly don't want to act on them..

God loves you.. learn about His perfect plan for your life.. and talk to people who know about God!! You are very brave to come here and talk about this.. God bless you!!

I will pray for you to be able to resist the devil.. Tell him to go away!! People might not always understand.. but God always does...

Ummm...

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