Um, just read please!

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

I've had something on my mind lately. It has to do with the fact that, RIGHT NOW, it looks as if, IF it is God's will for my guy and me to marry, that is a long time away.

You guys know that he and I have known each other for years, were close friends for a couple, and have now been boyfriend and girlfriend for almost a year and eight months. I feel like and have felt for sometime now that he could be my future husband.

But, the thing is, he is finishing community college in the spring, and I will be in the summer. In the summer he will be going to university 2 hours away from here, and will be there for the next 4-5 years. Honestly, while I know that I do not need to be married in the next few minutes because of the ways that I need to learn and grow in my own life (like in handling money more wisely), I turned 21 on Friday (he will tomorrow). Say we get married at 25 and then take a "honeymoon year"- as in just us, not trying to have a baby. I'll be close to or 27 having my first child, God willing of course. And I'd really like 2 of them, spaced about 2 or 3 years apart.

Ok, let me stop. God just spoke to me. Told me to calm down and trust Him. See, like I've said before, if there is one thing I have learned in my relationship with Joe, it is to TRUST IN THE LORD.
Alright, I feel better now. Thanks for reading this anyway.

~Lynz

 

[Amy47]

Well Glad you feel better about it.

 

[Carri20]

Heheh.. Isn't it awesome how God will cut in with an answer before you even finish explaining the problem?

 

[Leanna]

I am a little confused.

If you two want to get married sooner than 4-5 years, i think you should just do so. I could never wait that long.... I dunno... I guess it is because when I got married my husband was in college, and I worked, so I don't always see the big deal why people have to wait until after college? Yeah, that's it... so I don't know.... either way

 

[Amy47]

Well one of the biggest reasons why people divorced knowadays is because of money and so i think people try to get a bit more set financially before making that sort of commitment. Now when I say "Finanically set" I mean just get out of large amounts of school debt and try to save some money for unexpected expenses. I persoanlly couldn't wait that long either, but I would seeks gods help.

 

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

Heheh.. Isn't it awesome how God will cut in with an answer before you even finish explaining the problem?

Yes, it is!

 

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

I am a little confused.

If you two want to get married sooner than 4-5 years, i think you should just do so. I could never wait that long.... I dunno... I guess it is because when I got married my husband was in college, and I worked, so I don't always see the big deal why people have to wait until after college? Yeah, that's it... so I don't know.... either way

Right now, as far as I know, it is only me who wants to get married sooner than in 4-5 years. About 5 months ago, we had a talk that I've mentioned before on here, where I said that he told me that his seeing us married in the future was "fuzzy" for him. He'd also told me that while we were so compatible, such good friends before the romance and still good friends WITH the romance, and comfortable with each other, he still didn't know if I was the one God intended to be his "forever helpmate." At that time I realized that I was more serious than him. I gave the situation to God, and I told Joe that I wouldn't bring it up again, that as he waited for me to be his girlfriend, I would wait on him to bring up our future again. Since then, there's been nothing about it.

I really wondered about those things that Joe told me. I was actually sorta disappointed. It caused me to think, "where am I lacking?" I have talked to God, prayed to him, very much about this. Joe and I do have our differences, and sometimes I don't feel like he is showing me the respect I need, but I'm getting better about talking to him in a loving way about things like that. All of the few disagreements or difficult moments we've ever had have been resolved in under 24 hours. He is a strong Christian and I have seen him many times stand up for what he believes. He is a very determined and dedicated individual, has great listening skills, doesn't try to "solve" my problems, as men are streotyped to do, is quick to see where he is wrong and apologize and even "fix" it, loves helping others, and to see him with children is so sweet. I really do think he would be a good father one day.

Sometimes I think, when he disappoints me somehow, this is the time when another would break up with him. But I love him, and none of us are perfect. And it's a peaceful thing (my love for him). It's a calming feeling like watching the waves softly come onto the shore. He has never treated me in any sort of outright harmful way. We have that "click." When he is with me, I feel awesome. He makes me smile and loves doing just that.

I consider Joe a blessing from God. This is because of how in December almost 2 years ago, he called me up out of the blue (since we hadn't had much contact since graduating the past May). It was to thank me for the Christmas card I'd sent to him (as I had other friends). We then began talking on the phone more and hanging out. It also happened at this time I was reading a book called "What's a Girl to Do? While Waiting for Mr. Right," and I would talk to him about this book, about how I was just letting God handle my situation of wanting to be with a godly man. We didn't talk about it all that much, but soon thereafter, things changed. He was calling me even more. People at his church began raising eyebrows and saying, "You guys are gonna get together one day!" Now these were full-grown adults old enough to be our parents. Our friends would say, "Ya'll would make an excellent couple." We'd just laugh and be like, "nah, we aren't serious." But as I said, his behavior was changing, and so was mine. I could see in him many things that I desired of a godly boyfriend and later, husband. He was the one who brought up dating. I told him to let me think on it and pray more about it. I took the situation very seriously. And one night while I was praying, I thought, I want to date him...and I could end up marrying him too. It seemed so profound. So soon he'd come to my house, and I'd walked with him outside to say bye, and I told him how I loved how we'd gone from hanging out and friends, to even better friends, to liking each other as more than friends. It seemed so natural and I'd prayed on it and felt good. He then asked me, "So when people ask me if I have a girl, can I tell them yes?" And I said, "yes." He smiled the biggest smile and really hugged me for the first time, and it was sooo sweet.

So, I'm sure your eyes are getting tired by now. What I suppose I'm trying to say is that it seems as if God is continuously blessing me in this. I felt like I did the right thing at first, as I have throughout our relationship, by seeking Him and His Will. And that is what I'm continuing to do, even if it's really hard. I get impatient. But I don't know...I feel like if I've let things be as they are up until now, letting God handle it, things are gonna be fine.

We have to remember that God's timing is perfect.

 

[Leanna]

Wow... if my boyfriend told me "I don't know you're the one God intended to be my "forever helpmate."" and then wanted me to date him for 4-5 years to find out..... I'd break up with him. LOL. I would date other people. You may strap yourself down for 4-5 years while he hangs onto you because its better than being lonely and when he finds someone better, pow, he's out, because "she's the one"...

 

[Hope_0004]

Wow... if my boyfriend told me "I don't know you're the one God intended to be my "forever helpmate."" and then wanted me to date him for 4-5 years to find out..... I'd break up with him. LOL. I would date other people. You may strap yourself down for 4-5 years while he hangs onto you because its better than being lonely and when he finds someone better, pow, he's out, because "she's the one"...

I agree, especially after however long it was that you two had already been together!

I'm sorry, I hate to get down on you, but I just don't think this is what I'd want to hear coming from a man that I wanted to marry. I don't think it is at all fair to ask you to wait until he figures it out. And honestly, 4-5 years of a long distance relationship doesn't seem like it would help...

But if you are content, that is really all that matters. Just make sure that you can handle it if after 4 or 5 years he does decide that you're not his forever helpmate or whatever - and that he knows he doesn't want to get married.

 

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

Blue- kudos to you. Thanks for understanding how I feel and everything. You are right. None of those things, being God's will, would be a tragedy. They would just be different than I imagined . And however it turns out, I'm sure it will be far better than I can imagine.

About the 4-5 years thing- it isn't like my boyfriend has insisted that I wait on him that long. The reason I give that time-span is because that is when he will be finished with university, where he's going to be an architect. True that God's plan for HIM may change. It may turn out quite differently.

We have talked a little bit about how things won't be the same once he's away, that we won't get to see each other as much and the like. But we have not REALLY talked about what is going to happen with us.

I am an extremely patient person. Sometimes perhaps to a fault, if there's such a thing. I want to keep my word about allowing him to be the one to next bring up our future. So I'm struggling. But honestly right now, I feel like God is telling me to wait, that it is not time for me to say anything. And I'm going with that.