Trying to understand

[piecesofme]

Hi Everyone,

I know this topic has probably been discussed countless times, but I'm asking in advance for you to please be patient with me. I am trying to become a true Christian and still have lots of questions and I am confused by some of the Christians around me. So I thought I'd try here.

My parents do not attend church, but have always been supportive of me and my siblings attending church if we wanted to. The way my parents view Christianity is that if you believe in God and you are a good person, you are a Christian. This is the way I was taught about Christianity growing up. So whenever I was asked if I was a Christian, I would answer yes, I am a Christian. So at work, when I met a group of Christians, and they asked if I was a Christian, I said yes I was. They were really receptive of me and they invited me to attend bible study with them. I was excited about my new friends and I felt that they had helped me draw closer to knowing God. As we all got to know each other better, I felt more comfortable opening up to them and I was excited to share more personal aspects of my life with them. So I told them about my family and about my boyfriend. My boyfriend is not a Christian, but he shares a lot of the same values as my family. We were raised with similar cultural backgrounds and morals, as such we both get along extremely well and our families get along well too.

When my Christian friends heard this, they felt uncomfortable with me and they said that if I was to really want to follow God's word and will, I should stop dating my boyfriend. So I started reading the bible and I found out about 2 Cor 6:14-18. Now I'm even more confused! I always believed my boyfriend was an answer to my prayers to God. I had previously asked God for a boyfriend that would get along well with my family because that was really important to me.

Can anyone offer me any advice?

 

[MagicStar723]

God's plan or calling for you will always line up with His word and His work said not to be unequally yoked. So I seriously doubt that God's plan for you is to be with this man. BUT God does everything for a reason, maybe His plan is for you to help bring your bf to the Lord and then go from there. Honestly, being with a non-believer is unhealthy spiritually. I would not be where I am with God without support from my bf. My parents are like yours as well so I need the support and prayer from somewhere!

 

[MagicStar723]

Maybe I should define support, someone to read and study with, talk about God, pray with, attend church with etc.

 

[piecesofme]

What is it like to date a Christian?

 

[MagicStar723]

It is wonderful! We are always honest, we lean on each other when we are in need. We are best friends, we study God's word together, pray together, go to church together, go to Christian concerts together. Whenever we have questions or are going through trials we can always talk with eachother and get the other to pray for us. We pray together everyday. We feel very, very close to eachother and are that close because we are both Christians and we both trust God to lead our lives.

 

[Pope Gonzo]

The devil loves to trip up solid relationships with confusion. As long as you keep God at the center, like MagicStar described, you'll be a lot better off than trying to keep going on your own

One quick question: did your friends say you should stop dating for the sake of dating, or was it because of anything you were doing with your boyfriend? (If you don't mind me asking, of course - if it's too personal, feel free to ignore the questions )

 

[piecesofme]

Hi Pope,

My friends have never met my boyfriend. They don't know anything about him, other than the fact that he's not a Christian. Based on this fact alone, they suggested I should stop dating him.

I know they mean well, but making a suggestion like that without knowing anything else about my boyfriend kinda upsets me.

 

[Pope Gonzo]

I would make his salvation my primary focus in the relationship if I were you. I don't know Blue Impulse or her husband, but how are we to lead others to Christ if we can't lead our best friend? A good friend of mine has come to the harsh realization that unless there is a serious change, his father will not be going to heaven. I don't want my kids to have to go through that same realization.

 

[MagicStar723]

My personal opinion is that you will never be as happy as you truly could be. You can share the worldy "feel good" but can't have God's approval or happiness if you are unequally yoked (the Bible says so!) You would be soooooooo much happier with a Christian, you could share the worldly feel good (within Christian boundaries) as well as recieve God's blessing and happiness (very worth it for me!)

 

[deornie]

You surely should not stop dating him!!!! I have been around such people their being Christians is like belonging to some supreme race... well maybe that sounds harsh but that's true...
Along the way people change a lot so maybe one day your bf will become a Christian, so who your friends think they are ,to mark him as 'wrong' for you???? That does not make him a bad person that he is not a Christian, maybe God has some special plan for him that's why he has YOU in his life?

So many times I heard something that would have this message "oh this person is not a Christian, so we cannot be around him"...but that was only with those Christians who were brought up in Christian families, etc, and they know NOTHING about BECOMING a Christian and are more likely to flee non-Christians... But are we not supposed to be an EXAMPLE and INSPIRATION to others? Geez if your bf is not a Christian you have a great chance to show him how great it is to be one!

Good LUCK and dont put label on your bf as your friends do!!they are just cowards, it is easier to flee and hide than to be an example!
*hugz*

 

[Pope Gonzo]

Evangelism doesn't work 19 times out of 20. However much you try to convince yourself that you're the exception, just keep it in mind.