Trying to understand this friendship i have with my christian friend.

[Hannah66]

I don't know if my friend ignores my messages or doesn't read them properly
This happens quite a lot. i addressed it with her once, and she told me i was overthinking and taking things the wrong way.

I just learnt my younger brother has covid...he has just had major heart surgery.
i wanted to share it with her.

this is our conversation on messenger today.

is she ignoring me?
this happens a lot when i share my heart to her.
13:38
You sent




I JUST GOT MY BOND BACK I DIDNT EVEN ASK FOR IT, ALL OF THE MONEY - THEY GAVE ME $2000 I JUST SENT MONEY TOI MY little brother, he has covid now...satan never leaves him alone..





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15:39
Andrea

Oh congratulations! Fabulous news! And what a kind, beautiful sister you are!

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You sent




That is good I didn't even claim for my bond Chris has kovid now he is at home and on meds I am continuing to pray for God's healing he never get to break are you ok





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Andrea

I'm fine

Got a new appointment at the hospital. It means Antonia will get the bus home and one of the ladies picking her up if it's raining. Can't change it. I'm ok. Bit out of sorts. Trying to work out appointments. Peter's not great. Going to make Spaghetti Bolognese for dinner.







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I'm glad you are ok those people that treat you like that just forgive them pray for them they are lost they need Jesus.. can you please pray for my little brother that he can get through covid.. prayers for Peter and yourself and Antonia. When is the new appointment




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Andrea


Is this your brother in California?






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Andrea

Peter's appointment is on the 14th







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You sent




No my brother in Texas who had the heart surgery. So that appointment is in a few weeks is it. Praying he will be well for the appointment can any NDIS help you take him there





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16:31
Andrea

Ohhhh ok. NDIS don't help with getting to appointments unless you have a support worker. We don't have a support worker on a Thursday. I'd rather drive as I know where I am going and I need to be there for the appointment. Support workers are useless in Peter's case when it comes to medical appointments. They can't advocate for him, etc. And unfortunately they don't give petrol money, just a small travel allowance for local trips. We manage. Thank you for your prayers, love and support. You are a fabulous friend. xx

This happens a lot, even when i get to share on the phone my burdens and she will say -
'ooh i have to go now and give my daughter her meds..'
after i have listened to her sharing her heart.

i like her but i feel ignored.

 

[pdudgeon]

It sounds like she is reading and responding at work, where she is busy.

Have you given a thought to calling her at home or on the weekends, when she might be able to give more thought to what you are saying??

 

[Hannah66]

hi, she doesn't work anymore, she is a full time carer to her husband and i know she has a lot on her plate. When she calls me, and i start to share some things going on for me, she replies, and say, 'oh, goodness, look at the time, i have to give my daughter her medication'. so i don't get to share any of my life with her. it's all about her...and i am happy to listen and pray but i would love her to listen to me. when i approched her about it a few years ago, she told me i was overthinking and had gotten it all wrong.

 

[IceJad]

Sending messages and hoping to have a proper conversation is hard due to the long period of time between replies.

My advise is if you wanted to tell your friend something important to you give a call. Ask if they have some spare time to listen to you.

I sometimes ignore messages from friends because it is just the wrong timing. And I hated the feeling that I'm obligated to read and respond to the message at the soonest.

My personal principles in communication is non-important things send a message and don't demand for an immediate reply. Important messages pick up the phone and call.

 

[disciple Clint]

I don't know if my friend ignores my messages or doesn't read them properly
This happens quite a lot. i addressed it with her once, and she told me i was overthinking and taking things the wrong way.

I just learnt my younger brother has covid...he has just had major heart surgery.
i wanted to share it with her.

this is our conversation on messenger today.

is she ignoring me?
this happens a lot when i share my heart to her.
13:38
You sent




I JUST GOT MY BOND BACK I DIDNT EVEN ASK FOR IT, ALL OF THE MONEY - THEY GAVE ME $2000 I JUST SENT MONEY TOI MY little brother, he has covid now...satan never leaves him alone..





Enter


15:39
Andrea

Oh congratulations! Fabulous news! And what a kind, beautiful sister you are!

Enter

You sent




That is good I didn't even claim for my bond Chris has kovid now he is at home and on meds I am continuing to pray for God's healing he never get to break are you ok





Enter

Andrea

I'm fine

Got a new appointment at the hospital. It means Antonia will get the bus home and one of the ladies picking her up if it's raining. Can't change it. I'm ok. Bit out of sorts. Trying to work out appointments. Peter's not great. Going to make Spaghetti Bolognese for dinner.







Enter

You sent




I'm glad you are ok those people that treat you like that just forgive them pray for them they are lost they need Jesus.. can you please pray for my little brother that he can get through covid.. prayers for Peter and yourself and Antonia. When is the new appointment




Enter







Enter

Andrea


Is this your brother in California?






Enter

Andrea

Peter's appointment is on the 14th







Enter

You sent




No my brother in Texas who had the heart surgery. So that appointment is in a few weeks is it. Praying he will be well for the appointment can any NDIS help you take him there





Enter


16:31
Andrea

Ohhhh ok. NDIS don't help with getting to appointments unless you have a support worker. We don't have a support worker on a Thursday. I'd rather drive as I know where I am going and I need to be there for the appointment. Support workers are useless in Peter's case when it comes to medical appointments. They can't advocate for him, etc. And unfortunately they don't give petrol money, just a small travel allowance for local trips. We manage. Thank you for your prayers, love and support. You are a fabulous friend. xx

This happens a lot, even when i get to share on the phone my burdens and she will say -
'ooh i have to go now and give my daughter her meds..'
after i have listened to her sharing her heart.

i like her but i feel ignored.

sounds like she is over loaded with things to do and thoughts on her mind. Can you help her in anyway? Maybe if you limit your communications until she is not under so much pressure? Do you have other friends that you could ask to pray with you?

 

[Hannah66]

sounds like she is over loaded with things to do and thoughts on her mind. Can you help her in anyway? Maybe if you limit your communications until she is not under so much pressure? Do you have other friends that you could ask to pray with you?

i pRAY for her but she doesn't always like to talk about her husband's illness, that is ok. I have some other christian friends that are praying. i'll probably not share with her. it might be too much for her.

 

[Tolworth John]

my friend ignores my messages or doesn't read them properly

You have a one way relationship where you do all the giving.
She does not recognise the imbalance in the relationship and is unlikely to change as it works all in her faviour.

It is up to you to either continue or to start putting brakes on by not always being available to listen to her .

 

[Neogaia777]

You have a one way relationship where you do all the giving.
She does not recognise the imbalance in the relationship and is unlikely to change as it works all in her faviour.

It is up to you to either continue or to start putting brakes on by not always being available to listen to her .

I agree with @Tolworth John, you either have that, or a fake profile or a scammer, so it's up to you to either start putting some brakes on it, or limiting it, or if you really want to at this point, maybe invest some time trying to figure out who and what she really is with questions, or maybe just putting an end to it altogether, and going or investing yourself and your time elsewhere, etc...

How much personal information has she gotten out of you so far, etc...?

Have you ever talked to her over the phone or met her in person, etc...?

God Bless!

 

[Joined2krist]

First off, she seems quite busy, secondly; if she is married and you are not, she might not want to discuss her marriage frustrations with you, so you won't have a negative perception of marriage. I pray your brother recovers speedily

 

[Hannah66]

I agree with @Tolworth John, you either have that, or a fake profile or a scammer, so it's up to you to either start putting some brakes on it, or limiting it, or if you really want to at this point, maybe invest some time trying to figure out who and what she really is with questions, or maybe just putting an end to it altogether, and going or investing yourself and your time elsewhere, etc...

How much personal information has she gotten out of you so far, etc...?

Have you ever talked to her over the phone or met her in person, etc...?

God Bless!

hi, i have known her since 2009, we have spoken on the phone numerous times, and messaged hundreds of time. yes, she is real and not a fake or scammer, my husband and i lead her to the LOrd and she was baptised soon after, but not met in real life yet. I just think it is a one-sided relationship. I will be praying, i do care for her a lot and her family though, this is what makes it hard. Maybe i need to accept that is how it is and just support her and not share about my life.

 

[Hannah66]

First off, she seems quite busy, secondly; if she is married and you are not, she might not want to discuss her marriage frustrations with you, so you won't have a negative perception of marriage. I pray your brother recovers speedily

my husband left me some years ago but i was married a long time. she doesn't want to talk about 'sickness' but she does talk about marriage. she hates talking about illness, i understand that, as i cared for my mum, who had dementia. I have been able to support her in her marriage and walk as a christian, encouraging her to pray for her husband and also to pray for her marriage. Yes, i have a failed marriage but my husband walked away from God and then me. Yes, i realise she is busy but we can still take time in our lives to pray for others. anyway, i have decided i won't share my life with her anymore.

 

[Neogaia777]

hi, i have known her since 2009, we have spoken on the phone numerous times, and messaged hundreds of time. yes, she is real and not a fake or scammer, my husband and i lead her to the LOrd and she was baptised soon after, but not met in real life yet. I just think it is a one-sided relationship. I will be praying, i do care for her a lot and her family though, this is what makes it hard. Maybe i need to accept that is how it is and just support her and not share about my life.

Is she of a different language/culture or ethnicity than you maybe...?

Because sometimes that can be a communication barrier, or can lead to many misunderstandings sometimes maybe, etc, as it (the communication) does seem "kind of odd", etc, or like "something is off" maybe, etc, why I mentioned the possibilities that I mentioned, etc, but if you know that she is both who and what she says she is, and is a real person, etc, then why would something be so off about it, etc, as it does seem kind of unusual, etc...?

It's almost like as if she is not even present or is even really truly fully there, etc...?

And that is a bit unusual, etc...?

Maybe you should ask her if she is OK, or just be there to just only try and help and support her right now only, etc...?

At least maybe only until you can figure out what is really happening or is going on with her right now maybe, etc...

Has she ever acted like this before with you at all ever, etc...?

God Bless!

 

[Neogaia777]

@Hannah66

The only other thing I can think of right now, is maybe both of you now thinking that it is a one-sided relationship now maybe, etc, and the two of you are almost competing now as who will get attention for each other's stuff now first now maybe, etc, which really would come down to a bit of selfishness or self-centeredness from or between you both now wouldn’t it maybe...?

Or maybe she just isn't wanting to do it anymore now because of something like that now maybe, etc, but that is/those are, the last possibilities I can think of right now maybe, etc...

And if any of those are the cases or possibilities, then you guys probably really need to talk about it either over the phone and/or in person right now maybe, or maybe just find a way to just simply end it between you both now maybe, etc...

Best thing to do is probably just maybe simply ask her about it maybe, etc...

See if that is any part of the issue right now between you two maybe, etc...

God Bless!

 

[Joined2krist]

@Hannah66, i thought there might be a possibilty that you didn't share that in common, thanks for giving us more detail, and sorry to hear about your seperation. God bless

 

[Neogaia777]

@Hannah66

The only other thing I can think of right now, is maybe both of you now thinking that it is a one-sided relationship now maybe, etc, and the two of you are almost competing now as who will get attention for each other's stuff now first now maybe, etc, which really would come down to a bit of selfishness or self-centeredness from or between you both now wouldn’t it maybe...?

Or maybe she just isn't wanting to do it anymore now because of something like that now maybe, etc, but that is/those are, the last possibilities I can think of right now maybe, etc...

And if any of those are the cases or possibilities, then you guys probably really need to talk about it either over the phone and/or in person right now maybe, or maybe just find a way to just simply end it between you both now maybe, etc...

Best thing to do is probably just maybe simply ask her about it maybe, etc...

See if that is any part of the issue right now between you two maybe, etc...

God Bless!

@Hannah66

Bottom line is "something" is "off about it", etc, and it is up to you to figure out "truly why", if you truly want to save or keep the relationship/friendship...

And both of you maybe need to talk about it very soberly and seriously maybe, etc...

Be blessed.

God Bless!

 

[Hannah66]

Is she of a different language/culture or ethnicity than you maybe...?

Because sometimes that can be a communication barrier, or can lead to many misunderstandings sometimes maybe, etc, as it (the communication) does seem "kind of odd", etc, or like "something is off" maybe, etc, why I mentioned the possibilities that I mentioned, etc, but if you know that she is both who and what she says she is, and is a real person, etc, then why would something be so off about it, etc, as it does seem kind of unusual, etc...?

It's almost like as if she is not even present or is even really truly fully there, etc...?

And that is a bit unusual, etc...?

Maybe you should ask her if she is OK, or just be there to just only try and help and support her right now only, etc...?

At least maybe only until you can figure out what is really happening or is going on with her right now maybe, etc...

Has she ever acted like this before with you at all ever, etc...?

God Bless![/QUO
thanks for responding.
she has been like this for a while.
She is Australian born like me and has a good understanding of language. She has an excellent memory and can retain information.

it might be part of her personality.

 

[Hannah66]

@Hannah66, i thought there might be a possibilty that you didn't share that in common, thanks for giving us more detail, and sorry to hear about your seperation. God bless

oh that's ok. She appreciated me and my husband and appreciated the fact my husband truly lead her to the Lord.
I haven't given up on him - i pray fpr my former husband every day and i pray for reconcilliation!
I don't know what is wrong. it just hurts me so much because i care for her and her family.

 

[Neogaia777]

thanks for responding
she has been like this for a while.
She is Australian born like me and has a good understanding of language. She has an excellent memory and can retain information.

it might be part of her personality

Then what do you think might be the problem then...?

Why did your husband leave, etc...?

God Bless!

 

[Hannah66]

@Hannah66

The only other thing I can think of right now, is maybe both of you now thinking that it is a one-sided relationship now maybe, etc, and the two of you are almost competing now as who will get attention for each other's stuff now first now maybe, etc, which really would come down to a bit of selfishness or self-centeredness from or between you both now wouldn’t it maybe...?

Or maybe she just isn't wanting to do it anymore now because of something like that now maybe, etc, but that is/those are, the last possibilities I can think of right now maybe, etc...

And if any of those are the cases or possibilities, then you guys probably really need to talk about it either over the phone and/or in person right now maybe, or maybe just find a way to just simply end it between you both now maybe, etc...

Best thing to do is probably just maybe simply ask her about it maybe, etc...

See if that is any part of the issue right now between you two maybe, etc...

God Bless!

thank you and i agree.
in the past, i addressed it and she gaslighted me - 'oh, you are overthinking or you have me all wrong, oh you don't understand.
i just lead it go. i didn't know what else to say.

 

[Neogaia777]

thank you and i agree.
in the past, i addressed it and she gaslighted me - 'oh, you are overthinking or you have me all wrong, oh you don't understand.
i just lead it go. i didn't know what else to say.

Well, then I recommend that you maybe take some time to yourself then, and work on your own self and what might be or what might have been your own part in it/this then, etc...

Oh, and, do this alone only with your own self and also of course God of course, etc...

And don't be afraid to face the real truth about yourself either, etc, because you will probably gain much more than you can right now probably imagine from it right now, etc, and it might even lead to your being able to reconcile with your husband again some day, or one day again one day, "who knows", etc...

Be blessed.

God Bless!