- Mar 10, 2005
- 468
- 17
- 45
- Faith
- Protestant
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Democrat
Hello.
I just realize that i'm the person who tries to reach out, someone who tries to love, someone who tries to forgive, someone who tries to keep in touch with all my friends. I have a lot of acquaintances - people I know. But if i have to count, i have so few friends. I try to maintain these friendships, but I feel like the balance bean is going to lean towards one side than the other. I feel like I take the effort of trying to maintain friendships. If I didn't, I would be always stuck home, alone in my room and sleeping. I'm just sick of being hte one trying to maintain peace and maintain relationships and it takes such a great deal of effort. I mean I do have wonderful people in my life, but they're just so busy dealing things on their own, and living their own lives. Is it like this everywhere?
I am nobdoy really says Happy Birthday if I don't tell them it's my birthday, nobody remembers or throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobdoy calls me. I call people. I make the effort. I try to build friendships, while some people are telling me I'm socially awkward. They think I'm too introverted where I'm trying my hardest to talk to people, the best that i could try. how do other people do it? Sure i'm not the most excited person you ever meet. Sorry making jokes is not my gift and I'm the type of person who likes to be in a serious conversation, and not those "fluffy ones". I also get into issues iwth people. I always think that they just don't want to be my friend anymore. Is this is a self-esteem issue, and I'm thinking it is. How do other people get together and have a jolly good time, when that is something i've desired since I was born.
I do have a good strong relationshp with God and He is really the ROCK of my life. I'm not really struggling as a Christian. I just fail at the "friend" department. It makes me so depressed that I don't have anyone who wants to strike conversations with me. I'm always the person in that little corner watching everyone talk and makes jokes, etc. I DO TRY to make effort to sustain social life, but it's not where i want it to be.
I just realize that i'm the person who tries to reach out, someone who tries to love, someone who tries to forgive, someone who tries to keep in touch with all my friends. I have a lot of acquaintances - people I know. But if i have to count, i have so few friends. I try to maintain these friendships, but I feel like the balance bean is going to lean towards one side than the other. I feel like I take the effort of trying to maintain friendships. If I didn't, I would be always stuck home, alone in my room and sleeping. I'm just sick of being hte one trying to maintain peace and maintain relationships and it takes such a great deal of effort. I mean I do have wonderful people in my life, but they're just so busy dealing things on their own, and living their own lives. Is it like this everywhere?
I am nobdoy really says Happy Birthday if I don't tell them it's my birthday, nobody remembers or throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobdoy calls me. I call people. I make the effort. I try to build friendships, while some people are telling me I'm socially awkward. They think I'm too introverted where I'm trying my hardest to talk to people, the best that i could try. how do other people do it? Sure i'm not the most excited person you ever meet. Sorry making jokes is not my gift and I'm the type of person who likes to be in a serious conversation, and not those "fluffy ones". I also get into issues iwth people. I always think that they just don't want to be my friend anymore. Is this is a self-esteem issue, and I'm thinking it is. How do other people get together and have a jolly good time, when that is something i've desired since I was born.
I do have a good strong relationshp with God and He is really the ROCK of my life. I'm not really struggling as a Christian. I just fail at the "friend" department. It makes me so depressed that I don't have anyone who wants to strike conversations with me. I'm always the person in that little corner watching everyone talk and makes jokes, etc. I DO TRY to make effort to sustain social life, but it's not where i want it to be.
