Trusting God

[nursesteph]

So here I am again trying to get answers except this time I'm willing to be vulnerable and tell my whole story. I posted about a week ago or so about struggling with giving it all to God. The issue at hand is my hubby and I's dream to have a baby together.
We have 4 beautiful girls. 1 from my first marriage and 3 from his first marriage. Please no judgment here. He had a vasectomy a little over 5 years ago after his last daughter was born. He just had a reversal surgery in march. The Dr told us that he had many factors in his favor and a 90% chance of it being successful.
We have brought his sperm sample in 3 months in a row and all 3 times have been negative. It just crushes my heart every month I hear that it's a no go. At 6 months if there is no sperm present the surgery is considered a failure. The Dr started him on a med that is supposed to help with sperm production after our negative result at month 2.
I never thought we could be the 10% & I know there is still hope but at the same time I feel hopeless. We are supposed to bring in another sample in August and if there are no sperm then we will have to look into other options.
I'm very scared that God's plans aren't our plans and struggle greatly with giving this over to God. I've never had issues with trusting God this bad before. It hurts so bad that when I do talk to God about it I almost always end up in tears. I know it's in God's hands so how do I willingly let this go where it belongs?
It doesn't help that the Dr and his office haven't been very helpful with anything...can't give us any expectations and when I researched more info on the surgery I learned that the way he did his surgery was kind of half butted on his part and this angers me. I just want answers, I'm sick of getting the run around. I even spoke with the Dr on the phone last week and after hearing his answers to my questions I am not impressed. This makes me worry even more. This Dr literally told me he was concerned about saving us money and I told him that money means nothing in the big picture of our dream.
I even emailed another Dr who is a world known specialist in this area of expertise and he sympathesized and even gave us some free advice. So do I just keep talking to God and strengthening my relationship with him and just keep praying that I'm able to give it over? Maybe God is just waiting for me to give him my trust in this. Please be sensitive with your replies as I have just layed out a very delicate portion of my heart for you to read. Thanks!

 

[7angels]

most christians at one time or another have gone through what you are going through or are going through it now. i am not referring to your situation but keeping your faith and going through trials. God's word states that God will never let us be tempted by anything we cannot handle and that God always leaves us a way out. now that way out is not always easy but if you keep the faith you will be brought out even closer to God then you even thought possible. i know how all the physical evidence that you hear does to your faith. what you need to do is find scripture on your situation and pray those scriptures to God. quote those scriptures any time doubt tries to gain a foot hold. it has come to my attention that God does not make things manifest in the physical until the very last moment. i believe it is because God wants the glory for what is happening and God does not want the glory to go to the dr for performing it but wants you to know that it is God who makes good things happen. you need to claim healing scriptures over your husband, claim the promises of God scriptures are true(these scriptures will help build your faith), find scriptures on fear(this will help you with your worrying), and ect. find scripture to back up every situation you run into to help you with your faith. for faith comes by hearing and hearing from the word of God. when people say things cannot or will not happen you need to put it down right away before that negative report has time to plant doubt and unbelief into your mind. when the dr says well there is nothing we can do then just claim that God will fix any mistake that was made out loud and right away. people may look at you like your crazy but the question comes down to how bad do you want this?

if this is God's will for your life as you say then God has already made a way for it to happen. do you think that God who knows all things from the beginning to the end does not know what you will be going through? do you think God who wants something to happen will be told by satan that in this circumstance you cannot have what you want? if God told you something will happen then it will. you just need to believe and keep your faith up and if you do this then God will do his part and make your dreams come true.

i will be praying for you.

God bless

 

[nursesteph]

Thanks for that insight and for the prayers both are greatly appreciated.

 

[7angels]

if you have questions i missed you have but to ask and i will try my best. i get caught up in thinking and sometimes my heads is running faster than my fingers so things get jumbled or i forget to answer something because i get caught up in explanations.

God bless

 

[nursesteph]

Thanks so much

 

[Johnnz]

Get as good as you can medical advice. That is fundamental.

God may or may not intervene. If that happens "Yeah"!!!!

But if not there will be issues that take time to work through. You can be honest with God. Tell Him about how you feel etc. Accept the joy that your own child and his three daughters give to you. You have children to love and nurture.

Our eldest son could not have children. He and his wife have two lovely adopted children now. We don't distinguish their adopted grandchildren from our other two, born to our second son. We adore all of them equally, as well as the two Korean girls that have lived with us and become part of our lives for over a decade, with their mother living in Korea. We are virtual grandparents to both of them now and we love them deeply too.

John
NZ

 

[nursesteph]

Thanks for your advice John NZ! You seem to have alot of wisdom and knowledge. We are definitely seeking all the medical advice we can. I know we have 4 girls to love and enjoy and that we do very much and are very blessed with. My heart just aches for a baby with my husband that is both of us together. I know this is all in God's hands. I long to carry our baby so badly it hurts.

 

[Johnnz]

Which is very understandable and completely normal. Whatever does eventuate, working through either outcome (one will be much easier than the other!) with Jesus will be central for you both.

Bless you and your family.

John
NZ