trust

[JesusFreak02]

Me and my b/f have been dating for 2 years and in in the beginning of our relationship he was to perfect to be true. then around 6 months up until 15 months he made many mistakes that weren't cheating but really close to cheating. In the past 9 months he has really shown me that he has changed and that he really does want to be with me but i can't seem to let go of the past and the way he hurt me then. how can i learn to trust him again? and how can i learn to let go of the past?

 

[ByLoveAndGrace]

First of all, Pray about it, God can restore your trust in him, better than anybody else will be able to. Also, you have to be able to forgive him for what he did in the past. If you have forgiven him, then eventually the trust will be restored, basically it takes a lot of time. I would say, don't move forward in your relationship until you are sure of your trust in him. And continue to rely on God.

 

[hasnoname]

I have trust issues because of a bad breakup I had in the past. I find myself not trusting my gf now sometimes even though there is no one that I could deem more trustworthy. Before we dated she messed up a little...and that doesnt help at all, but the majority of my trust problems come from my breakup.

That being said, I know where you are coming from. It is seriously a day to day struggle sometimes. But when I think about it, I just cannot believe I doubt her. I mean I am completely and utterly in love with this girl...there is no reason I should not trust her. She has never done anything wrong. Those are generally the kind of thoughts that I fight away doubt with.

I see the doubt as a direct attack from Satan. If the relationship is in Gods will....it will be glorifying him....which is the last thing Satan wants. It is the last thing our sinful nature wants too. Because of that we doubt and worry and dont truly forgive sometimes. It is easier to guard yourself and not make yourself vulnerable to those you love. Love is vulnerable...just look at God. He took the risk of knowing some would not choose Him out of love...He opened himself up to be hurt. If you truly love your bf...just try to remember that...

 

[SoC]

I have a few questions.

1) How do you come close to cheating without actually cheating? If it's that close to the line, I would personally just call it cheating.

2) Are you positive that in these last 9 months he hasn't just gotten better at lying to you? I don't want to plant doubt in your mind, but I also don't want you to proceed in a relationship where he may still be lying to you.

Honestly, though, my advice would be to lose the "close-to-cheating" boyfriend and find a guy that can stay faithful during the dating relationship. I may sound harsh, but if it's that or you two getting married and you finding out later he never quit "nopt quite cheating" then I would chose the dumping him now.

 

[JesusFreak02]

Thankyou you three who gave me advice on my problem. After thinking about this as long as I did, taking your advice in, and praying i have decided that breaking up with him would be best for me because as much as he did try to change there was always that time that I gave him my whole heart and he took that for granted. I have always believed that the past reflects the future and just like one of you said, he might have just gotten better at lying to me. I also believe that people should forgive and forget so this might be just a break where i could do just that and he can think if he was ever truely in-love with me. Even if I did forgive him for what he did and he decided being with me isn't what he really wants then atleast I won't hold this against him my entire life. Anyway, thankyou again...you really helped me make my decision a lot easier and you helped me think about things that I have never considered before. so thankyou!!!!!

 

[princessellie]

i think you definately made the right desision, god tells us to flee from temptation, if he is comming close to cheating but not actually cheating as you say that isnt fleeing from temptation that is playing into the enemies hands

may god bless you and put strength in your heart as you go through this