Does you or you spouse have a friend of the opposite sex? how do you or your spouse deal with it? Do you have the right to demand that your spouse not develope friends of the opposite sex or should you trust his judgment and have faith that he will be faithful.
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
trust v jelousy
- Thread starter clarkkent79
- Start date
I
InTheFlame
Guest
I think the answer to your question is 'neither'. Demands are a dangerous thing in marriage, but so is complacence. God is a jealous god... he wants ALL of us... so obviously 'jealousy' in and of itself isn't a bad thing. I think a jealousy for the health and wellbeing of a marriage is a good thing!
BUT... that doesn't mean that I should be demanding all of my husband's time, or even stopping him from being friends with other women. What it does mean, in my opinion, is that he and I needed to sit down and work out some guidelines - what we're OK with each other doing with members of the opposite sex, and why. For example, I told my husband while we were dating that I was uncomfortable with him having a 'discipleship' type relationship with another woman, and why I thought it was a bad idea. Because I'd taken the time to think it through and work out that it could negatively affect our marriage, and explain it to him, he understood and avoided that.
Jealousy really should be about identifying dangers to your marriage, both in your own behaviour and your partner's - and other people's. Some of these dangers will be illusionary, some will only be potential dangers (avoid just in case) and some will be very real and immediate. Pray and ask God for help in discerning what's what.
Did that help?
BUT... that doesn't mean that I should be demanding all of my husband's time, or even stopping him from being friends with other women. What it does mean, in my opinion, is that he and I needed to sit down and work out some guidelines - what we're OK with each other doing with members of the opposite sex, and why. For example, I told my husband while we were dating that I was uncomfortable with him having a 'discipleship' type relationship with another woman, and why I thought it was a bad idea. Because I'd taken the time to think it through and work out that it could negatively affect our marriage, and explain it to him, he understood and avoided that.
Jealousy really should be about identifying dangers to your marriage, both in your own behaviour and your partner's - and other people's. Some of these dangers will be illusionary, some will only be potential dangers (avoid just in case) and some will be very real and immediate. Pray and ask God for help in discerning what's what.
Did that help?
Upvote
0
There have been a lot of threads on this. You may want to search the archives to see many of the lenghty and well expressed opinions on this.
Upvote
0
My husband has many women friends - he always has. If I ever feel uncomfortable, (which has only been a couple of times) I make it a point to go along and join them so I can assess things for myself. Once in 28 years I asked my husband not to see a particular woman again. I trusted him fully, but I didn't trust her.
I also have male friends. Only rarely do we see our friends of any gendar when it takes time away from us being together.
I also have male friends. Only rarely do we see our friends of any gendar when it takes time away from us being together.
Upvote
0
Jenna
Senior Veteran
- Jun 13, 2002
- 3,089
- 192
- Faith
- Messianic
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Constitution
My husband has female aquaintances that he deals with in the office, but doesn't have any female friends. We have couples that we are friendly with, but neither of us are too involved with any of the folks of the other gender. We gals stick together and let the men have their own time together.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
