Trust Issues

[Xen_Antares]

This is something I have discovered about myself, I have major issues with trusting someone. IE a female friend at work, and I have been close, spending the last little bit of the work day together for several months, until recently when her supervisor complained that by us talking she was unable to do her job, something that baffles both of us since by that time of the day, the work is done, and nobody wants to start into a major project with 15 minutes left in the workday (her supervisor included).

Well our friendship has been on the back burner ever sense, were both too busy throughout the regular work day, and our lunches are at different times, and it is difficult to rearrange lunches. So I have alot of time now to think, and my lack of trust for people in general comes into play, I begin wondering if it was the young lady who complained to her supervisor, perhaps she didn't like me and wanted to politely reject me by letting someone else take the hit.

Then on Wednesday her co-worker starts talking to me at lunch asking why we never talk any more, and I explain the situation to him. He said he felt that something like that was going on and wanted to make it clear the young lady had nothing to do with it. I begin thinking maybe she doesnt mind me so much but the supervisor has a wild hair up her butt.

Then yesterday afternoon, I was on break and ran into the young lady again in the parking lot. She was leaving to go home, and stopped for just a minute and talked briefly, she then took off and said she had 9 minutes to get across town and get her bestfriends daughter because she was baby sitting. On a good day it takes 15 minutes to get across town, so I waved bye to her. Then my trust issues began creeping up, with the thoughts of "Shes just trying to ditch you." etc.

Now this young lady has never lied to me, so why do I find it difficult to trust her? Why do I always feel she is blowing me off when I have no reason too? My only guess is I have been politely rejected far too much in my life to believe anything anybody tells me anymore. What can I do to stop from having trust issues?

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

Now this young lady has never lied to me, so why do I find it difficult to trust her? Why do I always feel she is blowing me off when I have no reason too? My only guess is I have been politely rejected far too much in my life to believe anything anybody tells me anymore. What can I do to stop from having trust issues?

Well, it all sounds like your supervisor has more of an issue, than this gal. I bet this gal ever put her guy friend up to talk to you to find out why you two haven't talked lately.

Yes, I would say it's more your issue that you're making too much out of it. If that gal tried to ditch you when she was going across town, she prolly wouldn't have said anything, but she had to go.......and not given you a reason why she had to go to babysit.

You just need to work thru your trust issue and just realize the past is the past and it's up to you what your future is going to be like.

 

[Balugon]

I would say ask for the girls email addy or something. Find some time outside of work to chitchat or hang out somewhere. Maybe invite her to church or something. U dont have to live with not talking unless she isnt interested.

As for why u dont trust, a) the enemy loves to whisper those things in peoples ears to break up bonds between people. easy victories for him if he doesnt have to fight fight over it. b) bad past experiences. If people havent been trustworthy with u to begin with, naturally ur not gonna trust other people. Ive learned to be real leery about anyone (though still doing my best to trust), because everyone will tell u something wrong eventually, so u have to be on ur toes.

But yea, go for it. I mean, if its something u want. If it isnt that important to u, then ull have to decide on that.

 

[GuacaMolly]

It could be your trust issues, but it could also be your gut instinct telling you something. I've written my gut instincts off as paranoia before, only to find out they're right later.

Either way, you won't know for sure until you make a move that gives you a clear Red or Green.

 

[radhead]

Sometimes women can seem like two-faced [somethings]. But I've learned that that's just a mysterious part of their ways that I will never understand.

From what I've read, the supervisor was the only person with the problem. The girl probably wants to do nothing that would cause stress to her supervisor, out of respect. And, to be honest, that's well within her rights to do. She just values her job more than her relationship with a coworker.