I am 29 years old, married and I got a crazy story. First things let me give you some back ground. My father was a drunk biker who was violent to my mother. He sold drugs my mom got into drugs. My mom went to prison for drugs. we were then forced to live with our dad. Which really meant live with his mom and step-dad. From a young age i remember alot of violence. I remember hearing my mom being raped behind a locked door. i remember my dad forceing me and my little brother to sit on his lap while he held a shotgun to my moms forhead. I remember them telling me my mom hated me and that's why she wasn't around. needless to say eventually my mom came back around and i was so full of hate as i was raised into it.
Well after she came back me and my brother split ways. my father got a new job in indy so i went with him and my brother went with my mom. This didn't last long as my whole life i've looked over my brother. So eventually i got tired of sitting alone in a apartment in a city with nobody i knew. I came to visit my mom and i never went back. I lived with my mom my step-dad my step-brother my brother. I was always angry and mad at my mom to be honest i wasn't there for her at all. I just hated being away from my little brother. I started getting into trouble lots of fighting stealing and eventually we moved to my moms hometown.
Ok i moved back with my dad for a little bit things were bad between me and him. He would call me wigger and his wife had 2 kids i was basically raiseing while they went out and partied all hours of the night. So once again i left after i got into it with her son because he kept back talking me and would not do anything i asked and kept breaking my stuff. So one day he told me to shut up i slapped him in the mouth his mom got mad at me and my dad threatened to put me in a childrens home. So i called my mom and she came and got me.
The one thing i can say about my mom is though i had been through alot she gave me the space i need'd to finally open up and see what really has happened. After i started seeing it wasn't to much long after my dad didn't want to pay child support so he started saying i wasn't his. He would not do a blood test instead just stayed completely away. Leaving me pretty much broken. Even with all the bad stuff he did i looked past that because i remembered the good stuff. I guess i was always a daddys boy.
So now that road is laid here's where my journey begun. I grew a bond with my step-brother quick. As we both were pretty messed up and lost. So he was a few years older then me. He introduced me to alot of things. Things that help take the pain away. He was more discreet then me though. I use to really not care at all. People tell me stories i did i don't remember don't know if it was from the drugs are a demon. I did mess with witchcraft and practice i guess satanism. I went as far as using the bible as rolling papers. throwing plastic devils at people handing out pamphlets on christianity.
I had so much hate against god because of the people that were suppose to be devoted christains just left me hanging in the wind. So i figure well if your people don't want me then i'm gonna go where they do. I would spend hours debating people and enraging them just to make myself feel better. when really i knew they were right but i got some enjoyment on makeing them double think there beliefs.
So here's where things start getting wierd what seem'd in the beginning as just fun surely gets wierd. One day a friend of mine was working at the gas station he would sell me cigarettes so i went in to get cigarettes i was like 16 at this time. He believes in god. I don't so we are argueing and he goes on this rant how gods protected him and all this bad stuff that's happened to him. And out of no where i get these chills and i look at him and i say billy wake up. The guy flipped out and started screaming don't do that don't do that and he leaves. Immediately afterwards 2 words come to me spiritual awakening.
So i'm at lost for words feels like i got cold static electricity ran through my body. The next day i go up to get some cigs and he won't hardly look at me. I ask him dude what happened yesterday. He says i don't know but that wasn't you. That's all he could say. Well later on i do some research on spiritual awakening and it's a moment when everything becomes clear last a minute or seconds uncomfortable and awkward moments. Through out my life i continued to have these moments. it's at important moments. Where you have to make a important decision.
So anyways i'm doing drugs and i start using this drug lsd. well everybody else would see funny things or walls moving but for some reason. I opened a door to something else. Another note is i should put in is i was into music wanted to be a producer. That is a key point. So the last time i took acid it was me and my step-brother. we were tripping hard and talking about girls and life what we wanted. next thing ya know we are sucked into this room and there is a table. my moms sitting there my stepdads sitting there and my brother. but there's only 4 chairs. so one of us has to be left out. So i tell him you take that seat i'm use to being alone. We argue for a bit finally he takes it. After that i see this bright light open up. and it was like my future and everything was showed to me. I was gonna be big. i started makeing a name online in a music community one that some big stars came out of today. Deadmau5 being one of them.
So anyways i got into some trouble got sent to juvenile prison. The whole time i'm in jail i won't go to church i won't pray i won't ask god for anything. guards would try to get me to go but i wouldn't they just wanted to leave the pod i would say and lock myself back in my room. Well one day i was sitting alone and i prayed god if your real show me something. grabbed a bible opened it up. to the book of haggai. i read and the first thing that jumps out at me
1On the twenty-first of the seventh month, the wordof the LORD came by Haggai the prophet saying,2"Speak now to Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Joshua the son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and to the remnant of the people saying,…
Th 21st day of the 7th month is my birthday. so i'm like ok that's weird this book is 3 pages out of the entire bible i ask god to show me soemthing and i open up straight to this. well it didn't stop getting weird. See where i was at they had what was called matrix time...aka time for treatment. I was the only person other then one other person to go in there and recieve no matrix time. my release date was 9-24.
so i continued reading and that date pops up..
10 On the 24th day of the 9th month during the 2nd year of King Darius’ reign, the prophet Haggai received a third message from the Eternal One.
So anyways i get out of jail and the seed is planted right. I believe and now i know god is real.
Now i'm not saying by any means i'm a prophet or i'm special i'm just explaining how i found god. So anyways i get out go through parole get off parole hook up with who will be my wife. Life is going good. untill one day i decide hey i want to start doing music again and this is the career i want. Now i'm gonna tell you this if god can use people to talk to you believe me the devil can to. He is the prince of this world. So i'm makeing music met all kinds of people. every now and then though i would slip off track smoke some weed but now it's completely different i feel guilty wrong like i'm letting my people down. That is because now i have god and in nature i'm a loyal person so i want to please the ones i'm loyal to. Now i'm not saying weed is terrible and your gonna go to hell. but acceptance is and will lead you down the wrong path. which is why i would end up smoking it. I didn't need it just wanted to be liek them but almost everytime things got weird they would make mockery of god which made me feel uncomfortable. So that is why i got that feeling if i was alone and smoked it i was fine but when i smoked it with other people it was like hanging out with demons and it scared the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] out of me. Which brings me back to that night i took that lsd. Later on i figure out what i seen wasn't what i thought. i thought god showed me something because the light. but lucifer is referred to mourningstar lightbearer. So I believe 100 percent that night i was offered some kind of deal my sacrifice was love and in return i would gain riches. but my wife and kids changed that. I quit doing music for the most part i mean i do it for fun maybe a couple extra dollars here and there. but to do it as a career i don't think so. I guess from my take on it i have been fortunate to meet both sides and well this is my story. Any questions I can answer if ya think i'm lieing i really don't care it's crazy and i know it sounds crazy but god works in crazy ways.
Well after she came back me and my brother split ways. my father got a new job in indy so i went with him and my brother went with my mom. This didn't last long as my whole life i've looked over my brother. So eventually i got tired of sitting alone in a apartment in a city with nobody i knew. I came to visit my mom and i never went back. I lived with my mom my step-dad my step-brother my brother. I was always angry and mad at my mom to be honest i wasn't there for her at all. I just hated being away from my little brother. I started getting into trouble lots of fighting stealing and eventually we moved to my moms hometown.
Ok i moved back with my dad for a little bit things were bad between me and him. He would call me wigger and his wife had 2 kids i was basically raiseing while they went out and partied all hours of the night. So once again i left after i got into it with her son because he kept back talking me and would not do anything i asked and kept breaking my stuff. So one day he told me to shut up i slapped him in the mouth his mom got mad at me and my dad threatened to put me in a childrens home. So i called my mom and she came and got me.
The one thing i can say about my mom is though i had been through alot she gave me the space i need'd to finally open up and see what really has happened. After i started seeing it wasn't to much long after my dad didn't want to pay child support so he started saying i wasn't his. He would not do a blood test instead just stayed completely away. Leaving me pretty much broken. Even with all the bad stuff he did i looked past that because i remembered the good stuff. I guess i was always a daddys boy.
So now that road is laid here's where my journey begun. I grew a bond with my step-brother quick. As we both were pretty messed up and lost. So he was a few years older then me. He introduced me to alot of things. Things that help take the pain away. He was more discreet then me though. I use to really not care at all. People tell me stories i did i don't remember don't know if it was from the drugs are a demon. I did mess with witchcraft and practice i guess satanism. I went as far as using the bible as rolling papers. throwing plastic devils at people handing out pamphlets on christianity.
I had so much hate against god because of the people that were suppose to be devoted christains just left me hanging in the wind. So i figure well if your people don't want me then i'm gonna go where they do. I would spend hours debating people and enraging them just to make myself feel better. when really i knew they were right but i got some enjoyment on makeing them double think there beliefs.
So here's where things start getting wierd what seem'd in the beginning as just fun surely gets wierd. One day a friend of mine was working at the gas station he would sell me cigarettes so i went in to get cigarettes i was like 16 at this time. He believes in god. I don't so we are argueing and he goes on this rant how gods protected him and all this bad stuff that's happened to him. And out of no where i get these chills and i look at him and i say billy wake up. The guy flipped out and started screaming don't do that don't do that and he leaves. Immediately afterwards 2 words come to me spiritual awakening.
So i'm at lost for words feels like i got cold static electricity ran through my body. The next day i go up to get some cigs and he won't hardly look at me. I ask him dude what happened yesterday. He says i don't know but that wasn't you. That's all he could say. Well later on i do some research on spiritual awakening and it's a moment when everything becomes clear last a minute or seconds uncomfortable and awkward moments. Through out my life i continued to have these moments. it's at important moments. Where you have to make a important decision.
So anyways i'm doing drugs and i start using this drug lsd. well everybody else would see funny things or walls moving but for some reason. I opened a door to something else. Another note is i should put in is i was into music wanted to be a producer. That is a key point. So the last time i took acid it was me and my step-brother. we were tripping hard and talking about girls and life what we wanted. next thing ya know we are sucked into this room and there is a table. my moms sitting there my stepdads sitting there and my brother. but there's only 4 chairs. so one of us has to be left out. So i tell him you take that seat i'm use to being alone. We argue for a bit finally he takes it. After that i see this bright light open up. and it was like my future and everything was showed to me. I was gonna be big. i started makeing a name online in a music community one that some big stars came out of today. Deadmau5 being one of them.
So anyways i got into some trouble got sent to juvenile prison. The whole time i'm in jail i won't go to church i won't pray i won't ask god for anything. guards would try to get me to go but i wouldn't they just wanted to leave the pod i would say and lock myself back in my room. Well one day i was sitting alone and i prayed god if your real show me something. grabbed a bible opened it up. to the book of haggai. i read and the first thing that jumps out at me
1On the twenty-first of the seventh month, the wordof the LORD came by Haggai the prophet saying,2"Speak now to Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Joshua the son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and to the remnant of the people saying,…
Th 21st day of the 7th month is my birthday. so i'm like ok that's weird this book is 3 pages out of the entire bible i ask god to show me soemthing and i open up straight to this. well it didn't stop getting weird. See where i was at they had what was called matrix time...aka time for treatment. I was the only person other then one other person to go in there and recieve no matrix time. my release date was 9-24.
so i continued reading and that date pops up..
10 On the 24th day of the 9th month during the 2nd year of King Darius’ reign, the prophet Haggai received a third message from the Eternal One.
So anyways i get out of jail and the seed is planted right. I believe and now i know god is real.
Now i'm not saying by any means i'm a prophet or i'm special i'm just explaining how i found god. So anyways i get out go through parole get off parole hook up with who will be my wife. Life is going good. untill one day i decide hey i want to start doing music again and this is the career i want. Now i'm gonna tell you this if god can use people to talk to you believe me the devil can to. He is the prince of this world. So i'm makeing music met all kinds of people. every now and then though i would slip off track smoke some weed but now it's completely different i feel guilty wrong like i'm letting my people down. That is because now i have god and in nature i'm a loyal person so i want to please the ones i'm loyal to. Now i'm not saying weed is terrible and your gonna go to hell. but acceptance is and will lead you down the wrong path. which is why i would end up smoking it. I didn't need it just wanted to be liek them but almost everytime things got weird they would make mockery of god which made me feel uncomfortable. So that is why i got that feeling if i was alone and smoked it i was fine but when i smoked it with other people it was like hanging out with demons and it scared the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] out of me. Which brings me back to that night i took that lsd. Later on i figure out what i seen wasn't what i thought. i thought god showed me something because the light. but lucifer is referred to mourningstar lightbearer. So I believe 100 percent that night i was offered some kind of deal my sacrifice was love and in return i would gain riches. but my wife and kids changed that. I quit doing music for the most part i mean i do it for fun maybe a couple extra dollars here and there. but to do it as a career i don't think so. I guess from my take on it i have been fortunate to meet both sides and well this is my story. Any questions I can answer if ya think i'm lieing i really don't care it's crazy and i know it sounds crazy but god works in crazy ways.
