troubles keeping us from getting married

[looking4joy]

My girlfriend and I have wanted to be married for some time. I am disabled and not able to work. I have a severe mental disorder, and I am on disability, drawing in a small amount from social security, not enough to live on. Right now I am living with my parents, because I've tried living on this amount and can't.

She is working right now but is losing work because she has some condition flaring up, likely fibromyalgia, and is getting so painful she won't be able to work long. You can't get on disability with fibromyalgia. And she'd have no health coverage for her condition without getting disability if she can't work.

We're distressed, looking to God to help. We've been dating for about 4-1/2 years and we already have had sexual relations with each other. We are both working on putting that aside now until we could be married. But nothing seems to be working out for us.

I feel confused and not sure what's going on. I believe God is a merciful God, one who forgives. My girlfriend and I both care for each other deeply. But I don't know what's going to happen.

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Its hard for anyone to tell you exactly if its working out or not. When you say things are not working out do you mean you are having problems with each other like fights or something? Or just simply trying to say theres so much going on in life that neither of you are really sure what to do?

If its fights or stuff like that then it could be a bad thing. Especially if you or her feel like there are red flags going off about each other (like God telling you somethings not right). While its a sin to have sex before marriage, its done now. Repent and try to stay away from it. I had sex before I got married to (well before I met my wife).

As for both having health issues. It doesn't mean marriage is impossible. If she may lose her work then that means she may she can't live where ever shes at (assuming shes by herself). Which leads to her living with you which is a bad idea, even more so if your parents end up not approving. It seems like it is a complicated situation though. I'd continue to pray that God provides answers on what to do in this situation. Maybe talk to some friends or family. A pastor.

If it makes you feel better me and my wife our disabled. Well shes not fully disabled. But she has had major health setbacks. We still got married, overseas none the less. But we also have very supportive parents. Mine let me live at home (because I can't afford outside of it either) while and hers let her live at home (because its tradition there). So when together we will stay here at the house probably until my parents die, at which point we get the house thankfully.

If you don't mind me asking are you on SSI, SSDI or SSI with disability? I am on SSI w/ disability and I was told once married I would lose $200 from my monthly check. So now there is no way for me to find a place with my wife until she finds work here when she comes. For now though my SSI amount hasn't changed since shes technically not in america yet.

I feel for you, fibromyalgia as many can tell you is rough. And without insurance... that will be hard down the road if/when they try to treat it. As I said earlier, assuming you two still get along just fine, then just pray God works some miracles and blessings so you know what direction to go down. Just never give up on each other due to health/financial situation. Love can get you past those things if its true and strong! Your in my prayers.

 

[dayhiker]

hi Looking ... it sounds like you two have so little in life with your health issues, that I also would encourage you two to love each other at all costs. Its going to do so much good in your lives if you always have that love to look forward to from each other.

 

[ace4]

You are such a dear person,
if I can love you based on just your little post, I'm sure that God can see your heart
& loves you very much!!!
Please purpose to your sweet girl, start a partership for life!!
God is there to support every tribute!

 

[claramatt]

I can totally understand your predicament. There will be some or the other way that will help you out from this situation.