Hey yall! I am new to forums but my reason for joining this site was specifically in order to get other Christian's opinions about my situation, as well as, to be a source of support for others who could use my opinion!
So here is the deal: my boyfriend and I had been dating 5 months as of September 1. We are both very strong Christians and have been that way since day 1. We met my freshman year at his fraternity house and were interested in each other but he was under the impression that I was dating someone else so things somewhat ended there, for a while at least. A year and a half later we were at a church function and were asked to tell 3 people about things going on in your life and ask them to pray for you. He was one of the three people I asked! We talked for a few weeks mostly about our prayers and our Christian walk and then he asked me out! It was great to see how God worked in mysterious ways by allowing us to meet up once more, with Him at the center of our relationship! We were together for just over a month and things were going great when he had to leave to go to Colorado Springs for training ground, a men's program that focuses on strengthening men spiritually, physically, and mentally. He was gone all summer which was three months, while I remained in Memphis. It was very hard but we talked regularly and even got the opportunity to have Bible studies(on the book of Daniel) every Sunday. He expressed how hard it was to be out there and to have much of his past brought back up. Mind you, he never had the best relationship with his parents or any of his 4 siblings. He claimed he always felt like he didn't belong. So you can see how it would be hard to be out in such a place where they were resurfacing much of his scarred past in hopes that they could teach him how to deal with it better. Anyway when he came home August 9, we were both so excited to see each other. When we came back up to school, I just sensed something different about him. He seemed sad. And this was not his personality at all. He was friends with absolutely everyone and was the typical butterfly. Anyway most of the time he seemed fine but I could just sense something was bugging him. The last few weeks have been a little tough but we were always very open about anything and everything and when something was bothering us we always talked about it. We looked at conversation as the key to a healthy relationship. We'd had a few deeps conversations about his well-being and how his relationship with Jesus was going but on one occasion I got particularly emotional because I thought he was leading to us breaking up. Then he stopped me and said those were not at all his intentions. So in my head, things were a little tough right now but I was going to be there for him and we were going to get through this transitioning from his summer program to applying to the real world. Anyway we had a long talk last Thursday night to which he said he was hurting so much, that it was hard for him to find joy in anything. He also claimed that he had put me in a place where I did not belong. He had put me over God. Of course we know that God has supremacy over ALL things and apparently that is what he felt he had done with me. He said I was all he ever thought about and that it was wrong. For this reason, he thought it was best to get some space to work things out. Now although I am in complete support of him rediscovering that strong relationship with our Lord, when asked whether or not he thought we would get back together again, he said he just did not feel peace about it. I am really struggling with understanding how at one point he can feel so strongly for me and everything be going so great to the next moment he is never wanting to see me again. Above anything I want him to regain that relationship with Jesus again and am even willing to give him that space. I just don't understand why he now feels that I must be completely erased from his life in order for him to be right with God again. I have pondered all kinds of thoughts: Does he feel guilty to be with me because he knows he put me before God and fears not being able to refrain from doing it again? Does he feel he is not worthy of God's love anymore? Does he really think I am the problem? I know he plans on getting married and if I'm not the problem it will be another girl. Also it's not like I am not fully in love with the Lord because God has been my number one this entire time. Once again it's just hard to have heard him say things like, you know I wouldn't be dating you if I couldn't see myself marrying you and telling his family to get used to me because I am going to be around for a while to then saying he can't see me period! Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? I'm sorry if I've left a lot out, please feel free to ask me to fill in any necessary details. In the midst of it all I know God is in control, I just wanted to get the opportunity to see what God may suggest to me through other strong Christians. God bless and and I ask for your prayers that God keep us strong and focuses on Him always amidst this difficult time apart.
So here is the deal: my boyfriend and I had been dating 5 months as of September 1. We are both very strong Christians and have been that way since day 1. We met my freshman year at his fraternity house and were interested in each other but he was under the impression that I was dating someone else so things somewhat ended there, for a while at least. A year and a half later we were at a church function and were asked to tell 3 people about things going on in your life and ask them to pray for you. He was one of the three people I asked! We talked for a few weeks mostly about our prayers and our Christian walk and then he asked me out! It was great to see how God worked in mysterious ways by allowing us to meet up once more, with Him at the center of our relationship! We were together for just over a month and things were going great when he had to leave to go to Colorado Springs for training ground, a men's program that focuses on strengthening men spiritually, physically, and mentally. He was gone all summer which was three months, while I remained in Memphis. It was very hard but we talked regularly and even got the opportunity to have Bible studies(on the book of Daniel) every Sunday. He expressed how hard it was to be out there and to have much of his past brought back up. Mind you, he never had the best relationship with his parents or any of his 4 siblings. He claimed he always felt like he didn't belong. So you can see how it would be hard to be out in such a place where they were resurfacing much of his scarred past in hopes that they could teach him how to deal with it better. Anyway when he came home August 9, we were both so excited to see each other. When we came back up to school, I just sensed something different about him. He seemed sad. And this was not his personality at all. He was friends with absolutely everyone and was the typical butterfly. Anyway most of the time he seemed fine but I could just sense something was bugging him. The last few weeks have been a little tough but we were always very open about anything and everything and when something was bothering us we always talked about it. We looked at conversation as the key to a healthy relationship. We'd had a few deeps conversations about his well-being and how his relationship with Jesus was going but on one occasion I got particularly emotional because I thought he was leading to us breaking up. Then he stopped me and said those were not at all his intentions. So in my head, things were a little tough right now but I was going to be there for him and we were going to get through this transitioning from his summer program to applying to the real world. Anyway we had a long talk last Thursday night to which he said he was hurting so much, that it was hard for him to find joy in anything. He also claimed that he had put me in a place where I did not belong. He had put me over God. Of course we know that God has supremacy over ALL things and apparently that is what he felt he had done with me. He said I was all he ever thought about and that it was wrong. For this reason, he thought it was best to get some space to work things out. Now although I am in complete support of him rediscovering that strong relationship with our Lord, when asked whether or not he thought we would get back together again, he said he just did not feel peace about it. I am really struggling with understanding how at one point he can feel so strongly for me and everything be going so great to the next moment he is never wanting to see me again. Above anything I want him to regain that relationship with Jesus again and am even willing to give him that space. I just don't understand why he now feels that I must be completely erased from his life in order for him to be right with God again. I have pondered all kinds of thoughts: Does he feel guilty to be with me because he knows he put me before God and fears not being able to refrain from doing it again? Does he feel he is not worthy of God's love anymore? Does he really think I am the problem? I know he plans on getting married and if I'm not the problem it will be another girl. Also it's not like I am not fully in love with the Lord because God has been my number one this entire time. Once again it's just hard to have heard him say things like, you know I wouldn't be dating you if I couldn't see myself marrying you and telling his family to get used to me because I am going to be around for a while to then saying he can't see me period! Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? I'm sorry if I've left a lot out, please feel free to ask me to fill in any necessary details. In the midst of it all I know God is in control, I just wanted to get the opportunity to see what God may suggest to me through other strong Christians. God bless and and I ask for your prayers that God keep us strong and focuses on Him always amidst this difficult time apart.
