- Oct 11, 2020
- 4,691
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- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Messianic
- Marital Status
- Celibate
We all have trials. Some of our trials are hardly worth mentioning, while others are life-changing.
I honestly cannot complain much. I have it pretty good. I don't have to work because I am disabled. I have a roof over my head. I have food in the frige. I have a vehicle. I have air conditioning. I get to spend a lot of time on social media.
It is easy to praise God when everything is going well. It is much more difficult when facing trials and tribulations. I am having a tough day today. X recently shadowbanned me, which is not that big of a deal, but I do ministry on X, and my reach is reduced to way fewer impressions. That means, the people that I would normally be helping throughout the day are not getting good Biblical posts. Why am I shadowbanned? I think it is because I started complaining about the right-wing extremists. I criticized X itself, saying it is all about division. Since then, my posts have hardly reached any people. Again, not a big deal, but it is annoying knowing anything I post there will not get any traction.
There have also been other things on my mind lately. What do you do when someone keeps asking for favors at the last minute, and you just don't feel like helping them at the time? Now, I am not married and I don't have kids, but this gives me a feel for what it is like. Getting interrupted in the middle of being busy, and a person asking you to pick them up and bring them somewhere can get annoying. But, it is at these times where you just have to die to yourself and do the right thing even if you don't want to. I don't really feel I have the gift of service, but my dad thinks I do. I tend to give people rides a lot. I pretty much never ask for gas money in return. For some people, it is easy to tell the person no, but I have difficulty with that. I would hate to see someone not be able to take care of the things they have to take care of just because I was being selfish.
And then there are people who you see who have it way harder than you. And you start to wish that you could do more. I know a guy with stage 4 cancer. Just today, he made a post about feeling like he was closer to God now than before he was diagnosed. It was a beautiful post. It just communicates to me that I should not be complaining and just do the good works God has prepared for me.
You could say this day has been agitating for me. Between people telling me I am acting in bad faith and not listening to me, and an atheist never being satisfied with the evidence that is there, it gets draining. But today was still a good day. I filled my day with worship music. It was my coping mechanism for the day. It was like my reward for doing the right thing.
The funny thing about all this is that yesterday, I was praying that God would refine me in the fire and purify my motives. What today showed me is that I can be pretty selfish when it comes to my motives. Who am I to complain because my social media posts are reaching people like they usually do? Given that I live in one of the richest countries in the world and have everything I need, I should not be complaining. I could be living in Nigeria or something, and knowing if I go to church, it could be the last time because I could be killed by Islamic extremists (a story I was reading about today from Voice of the Martyrs).
In all this, I want to tell you guys not to tire of doing good. Look for ways you can have relationship with Jesus when you feel annoyed. Persevere. Do the right thing.
I honestly cannot complain much. I have it pretty good. I don't have to work because I am disabled. I have a roof over my head. I have food in the frige. I have a vehicle. I have air conditioning. I get to spend a lot of time on social media.
It is easy to praise God when everything is going well. It is much more difficult when facing trials and tribulations. I am having a tough day today. X recently shadowbanned me, which is not that big of a deal, but I do ministry on X, and my reach is reduced to way fewer impressions. That means, the people that I would normally be helping throughout the day are not getting good Biblical posts. Why am I shadowbanned? I think it is because I started complaining about the right-wing extremists. I criticized X itself, saying it is all about division. Since then, my posts have hardly reached any people. Again, not a big deal, but it is annoying knowing anything I post there will not get any traction.
There have also been other things on my mind lately. What do you do when someone keeps asking for favors at the last minute, and you just don't feel like helping them at the time? Now, I am not married and I don't have kids, but this gives me a feel for what it is like. Getting interrupted in the middle of being busy, and a person asking you to pick them up and bring them somewhere can get annoying. But, it is at these times where you just have to die to yourself and do the right thing even if you don't want to. I don't really feel I have the gift of service, but my dad thinks I do. I tend to give people rides a lot. I pretty much never ask for gas money in return. For some people, it is easy to tell the person no, but I have difficulty with that. I would hate to see someone not be able to take care of the things they have to take care of just because I was being selfish.
And then there are people who you see who have it way harder than you. And you start to wish that you could do more. I know a guy with stage 4 cancer. Just today, he made a post about feeling like he was closer to God now than before he was diagnosed. It was a beautiful post. It just communicates to me that I should not be complaining and just do the good works God has prepared for me.
You could say this day has been agitating for me. Between people telling me I am acting in bad faith and not listening to me, and an atheist never being satisfied with the evidence that is there, it gets draining. But today was still a good day. I filled my day with worship music. It was my coping mechanism for the day. It was like my reward for doing the right thing.
The funny thing about all this is that yesterday, I was praying that God would refine me in the fire and purify my motives. What today showed me is that I can be pretty selfish when it comes to my motives. Who am I to complain because my social media posts are reaching people like they usually do? Given that I live in one of the richest countries in the world and have everything I need, I should not be complaining. I could be living in Nigeria or something, and knowing if I go to church, it could be the last time because I could be killed by Islamic extremists (a story I was reading about today from Voice of the Martyrs).
In all this, I want to tell you guys not to tire of doing good. Look for ways you can have relationship with Jesus when you feel annoyed. Persevere. Do the right thing.
