Translation of female language

[eatenbylocusts]

[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Translation of Female Speak... [/FONT]​

[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
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[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](2)Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
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[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](3)Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
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[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](4)Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
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[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](5)Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
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[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](6)That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
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[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here: This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'... that will bring on a 'whatever').
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[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](8)Whatever: Is a women's way of saying SCREW YOU!
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[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif](9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.[/FONT]​

 

[covenantwmn]

ROFL!!!! Funniest i've heard in a looooong time.....and so true!!!

 

[country woman]

That is so true

 

[FlatpickingJD]

OOOhhh. So that's why my stuff ended up on the lawn.

Got it now.

Thanks, ebl.

 

[ido]

Hehe - I've seen that before. It's so true. I still say men should make it a rule to hand out dark chocolate before trying to have a conversation with a woman - they'll fare much better that way.

 

[mizangelwolf]

That's cute, and TRUE! lol! I agree with the pre-chocolate suggestion too FNG

 

[Tumbleweed64]

Hehe - I've seen that before. It's so true. I still say men should make it a rule to hand out dark chocolate before trying to have a conversation with a woman - they'll fare much better that way.

You said IT girl!!! and offers for shoulder rubs won't hurt either

 

[ido]

Shoulder rubs...most definitely!

 

[Gianna]

Chocolate: The Original Marital Aid....

 

[cCensor]

Ah yes LADIES ALL THATS TRUE.
But some of us men have found out what the meaning of other words.

Lets take the word FAIR. To the ladies this means all is on the same plain.
To a man this means I WIN YOU LOOSE.

Then there is the word NO. To a women this mean not much. It could mean no or not now or maybe.
To a man it means NO!

Then we have the words DO YOU LOVE ME coming from a women.
To a man this means do you like to have sex.

To a man I RESPECT YOU, means I love you

There is more, but I just wanted you ladies to know there is some of us dumb men who are on top of things.

Love Censor

 

[mizangelwolf]

REPS for being on top of things, and I know what that means to you, lol!