Tough situation

[SplendidTree]

Ok so the guy I split with recently we dated for 6 yrs on and off. Were not saved until like 2 yrs ago or so. Anyhow...18 months ago he slept with a woman... in the same apartment (yes we lived together) in the other room while I slept. She was staying with my sister for awhile. Anyhow they did lots of things together while I slept. Multiple nights even our pastor saw them holding hands and such I just trusted them to go on walks and stuff. He has also previously cheated with other women.

Anyhow I tried to get past this to pray and trust him and 18 months later still cant yet have a hard time letting him go. Even if he is changed I cannot trust him and he always wants to sweep everything under the rug like it never happened. I was never even allowed to discuss it. He is convinced I will change my mind and says he wants to marry me. I know this is a huge mess... I don't even know wht I am asking I guess venting more or less.

Do you think i am making the right decision to end this? I mean he seems changed to a degree I just cannot seem to get over how he hurt me..like I try to forgive just cannot forget. Sorry this is a mess... I just have a hard time wording it all.

 

[SplendidTree]

Oh I forgot to add we still live together on lease right now. We have seperate rooms and really nowhere else to go right now

 

[NiobiumTragedy]

He won't change in marriage if he can't change now. Personally, I think you need to sweep him under the rug and find someone who respects you.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

He won't change in marriage if he can't change now. Personally, I think you need to sweep him under the rug and find someone who respects you.

This. The guy is a repeat offender and it's unlikely that he'll change.

 

[The Nihilist]

He's a dirtbag, you made the right call

 

[SplendidTree]

Well I dont want to call him names. he seems somewhat changed I just don't know. Guess I need prayer to get over him

 

[amor conquista todo]

and he always wants to sweep everything under the rug like it never happened. I was never even allowed to discuss it. .

i believe people can change.. but just by what you said here, i dont believe he has..
sweeping everything under the rug will not work.. he needs to bring everything out into the open & sort his issues out. unless he can understand why he does what he does, how is he going to change?
he needs to start acting like a man & face up to the consequences of his actions.. for him to just expect you to just deal with it & not bring it up again is selfish. he dosent care about the pain he has put you through..as long as he dosent get a headache with you bringing it up..
and what do you mean you werent "allowed" to ever discuss it??? thats a whole other issue altogether..
it dosent seem he has any remorse over his actions. and id bet he would do it again.
id be leaving skid marks here..

 

[explodingboy]

Well I dont want to call him names. he seems somewhat changed I just don't know. Guess I need prayer to get over him

less trying to justify, more with the running away, from the poor excuse of a man.

 

[Mayzoo]

i believe people can change.. but just by what you said here, i dont believe he has..
sweeping everything under the rug will not work.. he needs to bring everything out into the open & sort his issues out. unless he can understand why he does what he does, how is he going to change?
he needs to start acting like a man & face up to the consequences of his actions.. for him to just expect you to just deal with it & not bring it up again is selfish. he dosent care about the pain he has put you through..as long as he dosent get a headache with you bringing it up..
and what do you mean you werent "allowed" to ever discuss it??? thats a whole other issue altogether..
it dosent seem he has any remorse over his actions. and id bet he would do it again.
id be leaving skid marks here..

Pretty much agree with this post.