Hi everyone. I'm new at this so I apologize in advance if I'm in the wrong place. I recently lost someone extremely close to me, and I am not taking it well. I have a lot of questions that I hope someone can give some insight to.
On February 17, my ex boyfriend John died in a car accident. He was thrown from the car and died from head injuries. The driver, who is suspected of being drunk, walked away unharmed. John was only 24 years old and had just called me 30 minutes before the accident to tell me he was across the street from my house and to call him back. He was calling from another phone so I didn't know it was him, and just let my voicemail pick up. I listened to it and saw that it was him, but I was already in bed so I decided to just call him in the morning. Only he never answered....
My first issue with this is that I feel like I passed up the chance to save him. He and I hadn't seen each other in a long time, but talked frequently online, and I know he would have come over instead of getting in that car if I had asked him to. I feel so selfish and heartless for not calling him back just because I didn't feel like it at the time. I knew he would want to see me, but I wasnt dressed and would never let him see me looking awful since I still had feelings for him. Its killing me thinking that I could have stopped it but didn't. How do you stop blaming yourself in a situation like this?
The second, and most significant concern I have is that I don't know where he is now. I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, but I don't think he was. I know this type of thing is supposed to be pretty cut and dry, but there are so many stipulations to the story. John had a very difficult life. His father left the family when he was very young. He grew up in a tiny town where you either become friends with the few kids there or you have no one. Unfortunately for him, nearly all the young people there were bad influences. His mother was rarely home, and never attempted to regulate anything he did. She never once took him to church. He had no one to talk to or teach him about God, so all he knew were the basics that the general public would say: " God created everything, if you believe in God you go to Heaven, if you don't then you don't."
While I don't doubt he believed in God, he never had anyone to tell him anything about Jesus, or being saved. I would have done it, believe me, but we dated when we were very young and have lost touch many times over the years. I'm sure many of you know that religion is a touchy subject with a lot of people, and you can't exactly say "Hey, I know we haven't talked in 3 years, but let me tell you about Jesus." People don't take you seriously when you approach it in such a direct and hasty manner unfortunately.
So my question is, what happens to the good people who never have a chance to learn about Jesus? He was one of the sweetest people I had ever met in my life, and always managed to smile when it seemed like his life was falling apart. He never judged anyone, and always put others before himself. I know it would be different if he made a conscious choice not to be saved, but he didn't. With no exposure to religion, how could he have known? It seems like there are so many people like him in the world.... Even people in remote areas of the world with no technology or civilization- some of them have never even heard of the Bible or its teachings. How can God send them to hell for something they never knew?
I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I can't eat, I can only sleep when I take medicine, and it seems like every waking moment I'm crying and thinking about him. While I know that nothing I can say or do will bring him back, I know I would feel better if I knew I would see him again. I know that God loves us and wants us to be with him, so wouldn't he be understanding to those who didn't have the fortune of growing up with religion or being exposed to it before they died?
I am so sorry that this was so long.... I just don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this. I thought this would be a good place to try. Thank you so much to anyone who took the time to read it. Please help if you can. God Bless You.
Katie
On February 17, my ex boyfriend John died in a car accident. He was thrown from the car and died from head injuries. The driver, who is suspected of being drunk, walked away unharmed. John was only 24 years old and had just called me 30 minutes before the accident to tell me he was across the street from my house and to call him back. He was calling from another phone so I didn't know it was him, and just let my voicemail pick up. I listened to it and saw that it was him, but I was already in bed so I decided to just call him in the morning. Only he never answered....
My first issue with this is that I feel like I passed up the chance to save him. He and I hadn't seen each other in a long time, but talked frequently online, and I know he would have come over instead of getting in that car if I had asked him to. I feel so selfish and heartless for not calling him back just because I didn't feel like it at the time. I knew he would want to see me, but I wasnt dressed and would never let him see me looking awful since I still had feelings for him. Its killing me thinking that I could have stopped it but didn't. How do you stop blaming yourself in a situation like this?
The second, and most significant concern I have is that I don't know where he is now. I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, but I don't think he was. I know this type of thing is supposed to be pretty cut and dry, but there are so many stipulations to the story. John had a very difficult life. His father left the family when he was very young. He grew up in a tiny town where you either become friends with the few kids there or you have no one. Unfortunately for him, nearly all the young people there were bad influences. His mother was rarely home, and never attempted to regulate anything he did. She never once took him to church. He had no one to talk to or teach him about God, so all he knew were the basics that the general public would say: " God created everything, if you believe in God you go to Heaven, if you don't then you don't."
While I don't doubt he believed in God, he never had anyone to tell him anything about Jesus, or being saved. I would have done it, believe me, but we dated when we were very young and have lost touch many times over the years. I'm sure many of you know that religion is a touchy subject with a lot of people, and you can't exactly say "Hey, I know we haven't talked in 3 years, but let me tell you about Jesus." People don't take you seriously when you approach it in such a direct and hasty manner unfortunately.
So my question is, what happens to the good people who never have a chance to learn about Jesus? He was one of the sweetest people I had ever met in my life, and always managed to smile when it seemed like his life was falling apart. He never judged anyone, and always put others before himself. I know it would be different if he made a conscious choice not to be saved, but he didn't. With no exposure to religion, how could he have known? It seems like there are so many people like him in the world.... Even people in remote areas of the world with no technology or civilization- some of them have never even heard of the Bible or its teachings. How can God send them to hell for something they never knew?
I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I can't eat, I can only sleep when I take medicine, and it seems like every waking moment I'm crying and thinking about him. While I know that nothing I can say or do will bring him back, I know I would feel better if I knew I would see him again. I know that God loves us and wants us to be with him, so wouldn't he be understanding to those who didn't have the fortune of growing up with religion or being exposed to it before they died?
I am so sorry that this was so long.... I just don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this. I thought this would be a good place to try. Thank you so much to anyone who took the time to read it. Please help if you can. God Bless You.
Katie
I'm sorry for your loss. 
