Top things you learned

[llghoney]

Sorry I'm bombarding with questions but, I wanted to ask what was the most important things you learned before you gave birth that stuck with you through birth?

 

[Leanna]

-- make sure to tell husband NOT to call MIL until I say so if water breaks first

That one is going to be a full on lecture next pregnancy LOL

 

[gracepaints]

Number one was that my body was doing hard work through me and not trying to hurt me. Mentally replacing the thought of "pain" with the idea of "hard work" and "pressure" made a huge difference in how I percieved my labor. I pictured myself as giving into or cooperating with my body when I had contractions, relaxing rather than tensing up and fighting them.

Is that the sort of thing you are asking about?

 

[Birbitt]

The number one thing to remember is that every mother and every child is different. Advice is great to get but remember that every person is different and your experiences will not be the same as anyone else's experiences and your child will not be the same as anyone else's child. You know your body and your child best, and you will make the best choices regardless of what others think of your choices.

 

[sparassidae]

Kind of like what gracepants said- contractions can be handled one at a time, just think about the one at hand, not how long there might still be to go. That each contraction is progress and no matter how hard it feels, it's not endless- there is an end!

 

[llghoney]

Number one was that my body was doing hard work through me and not trying to hurt me. Mentally replacing the thought of "pain" with the idea of "hard work" and "pressure" made a huge difference in how I percieved my labor. I pictured myself as giving into or cooperating with my body when I had contractions, relaxing rather than tensing up and fighting them.

Is that the sort of thing you are asking about?

yes, thank you very much! When we were at our last Lamaze calss we had this Bingo game on words we were suppose to have learned & honeslty I was blanked out on most of them. And thought, "will these words really matter in that time of labor/birth." I keep thinking that all I need to know is how many centimeters & to like you say work thru contractions.

The number one thing to remember is that every mother and every child is different. Advice is great to get but remember that every person is different and your experiences will not be the same as anyone else's experiences and your child will not be the same as anyone else's child. You know your body and your child best, and you will make the best choices regardless of what others think of your choices.

I understand all that but it's nice hearing what really mattered in the time of labor/birth.

 

[Leanna]

Actually the centimeters doesn't really matter either. I highly recommend reading Natural Birth The Bradley Way even if you don't want a bradley birth, and especially read the chapter Emotional Signposts In Labor.

 

[llghoney]

I know I so need to get that book. You've mentioned that several times & I need to order that this week!

 

[Leanna]

I bet I did, lol, I really do recommend that part

The trick is though that sometimes women can change centimeters really fast... like I have heard of women being at like 6 centimeters but acting like they are in transition, then 30 minutes later they're ready to push.... so sometimes knowing the centimeters can be discouraging because it seems like nothing is happening, but it is!

 

[JulySheMustFly]

I bet I did, lol, I really do recommend that part

The trick is though that sometimes women can change centimeters really fast... like I have heard of women being at like 6 centimeters but acting like they are in transition, then 30 minutes later they're ready to push.... so sometimes knowing the centimeters can be discouraging because it seems like nothing is happening, but it is!

I totally agree with this.

For me it was learning my body and trusting in what I know about it. Basically for the reasons Leanna hits on above.

 

[gracepaints]

Hahhah about trying to remember what you learned in class. That's why I brought my husband! We were having a review session with our Bradley Instructor and all of sudden DH bursts out with the answer to one question, "Natural Alignment Plateau!" I'm like, "The WHAT?!!" I had totally forgotten learning about it. I actually didn't think much about the technical stuff during labor, but feeling like I was prepared for what was happening made it lot easier to relax.

Definitely check the Bradley book. I also thought the Earth Mama Angel Baby Labor Ease companion CD offered a lot of good relaxation techniques and positive affirmations.

 

[lucypevensie]

Allow for some flexibility. What you plan and desire is not always what happens, and this is OK. This might sound like common sense, but really some women are DEVASTATED when the birth plan has to take a different route.

I was disappointed with myself when I "caved" and asked for an epidural. But then I realized I had been letting other womens' birthing experiences dictate what I should do too.

 

[gracepaints]

Allow for some flexibility. What you plan and desire is not always what happens, and this is OK. This might sound like common sense, but really some women are DEVASTATED when the birth plan has to take a different route.

I was disappointed with myself when I "caved" and asked for an epidural. But then I realized I had been letting other womens' birthing experiences dictate what I should do too.

This is good advice. I tried to focus on having an informed birth - where I felt like I knew my options, what they entailed, what their side-effects might be and where I had full confidence in my care provider, rather than just focusing on a natural birth. If I had had to get and epi or a c-section, I wanted to be able to surrender to that knowing that I was making the best choice for myself and the baby and didn't need to have any regrets about it.

 

[sparassidae]

I bet I did, lol, I really do recommend that part

The trick is though that sometimes women can change centimeters really fast... like I have heard of women being at like 6 centimeters but acting like they are in transition, then 30 minutes later they're ready to push.... so sometimes knowing the centimeters can be discouraging because it seems like nothing is happening, but it is!

Yep, totally agree. I've gone from 5cm to fully dilated in 1/2 hr once, and the last time from 7cm to fully in about 10 minutes. Numbers don't really mean much.

 

[gracepaints]

Hah - it took me almost 2 hours to get from 7 to 10. My OB said that was "forever". Apparently, transition is usually a little speedier than that.

 

[MamaPyratekk]

My biggest thing is always trust your instincts. That is for pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting in general. If something feels wrong deep in your gut...it probably is. If your instinct during birth is that you want to sit on all fours and push that way..do it. If your instincts as a parent is that your child is acting funny, take them to the doctor. Instincts are real and, in my opinion, vital. I wasn't dialating at one point with my son. My instincts told me that I needed to be alone. I went into the bathroom and told everyone to just leave me alone. When I emerged I had went from around 4cm to almost completely ready at 10. Mind you I was in there for 5 hours (I found out that later, I thought it was only ONE hour!), but that was still faster dialation than the rest of my four day (yes, four day) labor. ((Ps...don't worry, my labor was abnormally long. My midwife was astonished by it when I called to go to the hospital finally after 3 days). I also agree with the parent who said that you have to be flexible. Also remember that something you want prior to birthing may make you uncomfy during labor. For instance, I wanted to sit in water for the laboring and wanted to be massaged. But when labor actually happened I *hated* the water and I felt on fire when I was touched so I had tp ask for people to not touch me. Whew, so yes...instincts and flexibility...those are my two!

 

[llghoney]

Thank you all very much! I know when that time comes it won't probably be as I planned. I just know that I've forgotten things such as, what is transition. Maybe I'm full of too much info and it's all ran together now!

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

lol! Transition is those last few centimetres before pushing, it is also the hardest part of labour (usually), when people who otherwise have coped well often scream for drugs - only to be told it's too late! The contractions get harder, longer and closer together. But it usually doesn't last too long and is relieved when you start pushing and your nearly there!

You already have a lot of great points here, remember labour is finite, you won't be in labour forever (just like in those last few weeks I need to be reminded that I won't be pregnant forever!), and you'll have your beautiful baby as a reward at the end!