Told a friend...

[oneandlonely]

Well last night I was talking to one of my best friends. He asked how I was, I didn't want to lie to him so I just told him I was feeling REALLY down. He asked if I was depressed, I just told hime the truth that I was. Then he was like, "You havn't done anything drastic, have you?" so I was like, it depends on what you would say is drastic. and He says "anything that causes harm to yourself." I just said "I don't want to talk about it..." He took that as a yes. So we talked about it for awhile and he made me promise that I would talk to my youth pastor, I told him I was to scared to so I didn't think that I would. So he told me that if I didn't talk to my youth pastor within the next week, he is going to call my parents....

So tonight I have to talk to my youth pastor. Has anyone else had to do this? What should I say? I am soooo scared...

 

[Bevlina]

Don't be frightened Honey. This may be a wonderful thing! And it may lead to your recovery! When you feel down, it's common to be afraid, so just take it in your stride and relax. Tell your Pastor whatever he asks you.
Don't your parents know you SI?

 

[Cat59]

Hugs for you!
Your friend sounds as though he really wants to help here. I'll pray for you that all will go well when you talk to your Pastor.

 

[oneandlonely]

Don't be frightened Honey. This may be a wonderful thing! And it may lead to your recovery! When you feel down, it's common to be afraid, so just take it in your stride and relax. Tell your Pastor whatever he asks you.
Don't your parents know you SI?

No, my parents don't know. I tryed to talk to them before and they are not ready to listen without fliping out. and all that does is make me feel worse and sometimes it is kinda triggering for me

I didn't get to talk to my youth pastor last night. I couldn't bring myslef to do it, But I am going out to dinner with his wife tonight... I don't know if I will say anything to her or not tho...

 

[oneandlonely]

Today has not been good, I was so stressed about having to talk to my youth pastor...that I ended up S.I.ing I feel like such a failure...

Ambry (my youth pastors wife) called about an hour ago and said that we will have to take a rain check, which is alright with me, I am not sure I am ready to talk...

EDIT:typos...

 

[cracked_pelicans]

Hi oneandlonely. My heart goes out to you. I use to injure myself at your age, too. And now I have the scars to prove it.

Since you are not ready to talk to your youth pastor - is there anyway your friend could do that on your behalf? I think it is very important that your pastor at least knows about it. He can pray for you constantly, and be there when you are ready for someone.

Also, is it possible for you to just write out everything that you might like to tell him, and just see how that feels to you?

 

[Bevlina]

Poor little girl. This must be taking it's toll on you. But remember Darling, God never gives a spirit of fear. Talk when you are ready, don't push yourself to it. In your case, I believe the best one to talk to about it is God Himself. Then, He will give you the strength, and courage to approach one He feels is right for you to talk to.
But, don't stress out about it honey. Junst hang in there. We are your support line at the moment. And we won't let you down. Nor will we flip out!

 

[oneandlonely]

Hi oneandlonely. My heart goes out to you. I use to injure myself at your age, too. And now I have the scars to prove it.

Since you are not ready to talk to your youth pastor - is there anyway your friend could do that on your behalf? I think it is very important that your pastor at least knows about it. He can pray for you constantly, and be there when you are ready for someone.

Also, is it possible for you to just write out everything that you might like to tell him, and just see how that feels to you?

I don't think that my friend could talkk to my youth pastor for me... he lives 12 hours away...we can only talk online and over the phone.

I have tried writing everything out, it is kinda scary to me... I am so scared to tell anyone :/

 

[cracked_pelicans]

I don't think that my friend could talkk to my youth pastor for me... he lives 12 hours away...we can only talk online and over the phone.

I have tried writing everything out, it is kinda scary to me... I am so scared to tell anyone :/

Oh, I know, it is so scary to talk to someone. And that's perfectly fine. It took me a while before I even wanted to talk to anybody about it.As Bevlina mentioned, you can always come here; we love you as a sister in Christ and we are here when you are hurting inside.

Can you tell us how we can pray for you? Whenever you want, just pop by and let us know what's going on, and know that we'll pray for and with you.

 

[oneandlonely]

Sorry I havn't been around... I havn't been doing well...

Well I guess the thing I need the most right now is a really good friend that I can trust, So just pray that god will send me that. And wel just pray for me in general... am not doing to well right now.

I am glad you guys are here for me... I need that right now. Thanks

 

[Bevlina]

What you need is a friend who is a wonderful confidante lonely. Someone who will always be there just to listen, help and encourage you.
If I were you, I'd pray for that friend to come along!

 

[cracked_pelicans]

I agree with Bevlina 100%. Maybe you could pray for God to show you that friend, that person may already be in your life. If not, He will provide for you.

Precious Father in Heaven, your daughter is hurting. All of us here share her pain. We ask that you send to her the confidante that she needs right now. The person she can talk to whenever she likes, about whatever she wants. Lord, you know all the details, and you are the great healer and comforter. Please be with her during these trying times. Fill her with courage and hope, and guide her. In Jesus' name, Amen.

 

[Bevlina]

Amen.

Thankyou Peli.

 

[Talons]

Hi, i think i know how you feel. I've been in the same position, maybe not situation, as everyone's different, but i can relate. I think to be people self-injure is to deflect unknown, frightening pain into understandable, sort-of-controllable "fake" pain. It still hurts like hell, but it's a controllable familiar hell, whereas the real pain you're avoiding seems scary and poised to take over your world.


It's easy to revert to "fake" pain. Trying to find the source of your distress can be scary, because you often don't know what you're going to unleash. Fake pain, although very painful and traumatic, is something that you understand and can control and can handle. It's familiar, not mysterious and scary like the real pain behind it. You might feel that if you ever exposed yourself to the real pain you'd lose control: "If I ever start crying, I'll never stop" or "If I let myself get mad about that, I'll never stop screaming."

SI is a clever mechanism - it takes what seems unbearable and transforms it into something you can control. The only problem is that when you deflect pain, you never face up directly to what it is that has caused this much turmoil in your life. So long as you channel distress into fake pain, you never deal with the real pain and it never lessens in intensity. It keeps coming back and you have to keep self-harming.

You have to deal with the unbearable if you ever want to make it lose its power over you.

I believe you should ask your pastor for a little time before he/she tells your parents if you haven't come to terms about why you self harm... But of course if this long reply was a load of rubbish *fingers are hurting from typing*, i do apolygise. Also if you found it triggering, sorry...

Hope your well,
Talons

 

[oneandlonely]

Hi, i think i know how you feel. I've been in the same position, maybe not situation, as everyone's different, but i can relate. I think to be people self-injure is to deflect unknown, frightening pain into understandable, sort-of-controllable "fake" pain. It still hurts like hell, but it's a controllable familiar hell, whereas the real pain you're avoiding seems scary and poised to take over your world.

I see what you are trying to say, but thats not me, I do it for alot of reasons, but thats not one of them...I won't go into my resons on here to triggery

Well lets see, quick update.... well youth group last night was not good... I ended up cutting... But it is a long story.... if anyone cares to know.. pm me...

Today is not the greatest either... I am feeling realy low right now... and I have to sit in the house all night... this cant be safe

 

[always_hope]

Dear God, I pray that You will send oneandlonely a friend of Your choosing. In Jesus' Name, Amen.


Love,
Hope