toddler not sleeping

[erin74]

Ok, so 3 weeks ago my three year old was having a 2 hour day sleep nearly every day, which I usually had to wake him up from. Then his dummy finally bit the dust. Night sleeps have been no problem at all. Day sleep though have slowly got worse and worse. The first day was no problem, then he missed 2 days. Then had a few, then missed more days. Now he hasn't had a day sleep since last Tuesday and Wednesday (Monday is preschool - hasn't slept there all year - no dummy at preschool).

We have tried all sorts of things. Taking away toys kinda works - he won't sleep on the threat of getting it taken away, but has slept in order to get it back. At the moment I am in possession of his favourite bear - I've had it for a few days now (since sunday I think).

Now I know people are going to say perhaps he doesn't need a sleep, but anyone who saw him from about 3:30pm on would know differently - he is just feral all afternoon and evening. Then gets to bed and has problems going to sleep half the time - overtired. I also wondered if I was putting him to bed too early, or if he wasn't doing enough in the morning to get him tired enough. So now we have no tv in the morning, and I have put his sleep back to 1:30 (it was previously anywhere from 12:30 to 1pm start). I don't mind if he doesn't sleep every day. He is three after all - but I would expect that he would continue in his sleep pattern from a couple of weeks ago.

I am getting exhausted, and so is his brother (he keeps making too much noise and waking him up). I've tried putting him at the other end of the house in our room, but he just mucks around.

HELP!!!! If I keep pulling my hair out at this rate I'm going to have to start on someone else's head - and my dh has lost enough hair already!

Erin

 

[forgivenmuch]

my 3 yr old son does not sleep in the day at all. he would never go to sleep at night.
your child needs atleast 10 hours a sleep at night. i understand what you are saying about him being over tired. my son went thru that also. i had to totally cut out the day naps. now he sleeps 10 hours a night. and he goes all day. my child does not go to day care .. he never has. around age 3 is a change to where they dont need the day nap as before. and the patterns start changing.. i think he is going thru the transition stage. the sleep patterns change at that age. you may be putting him to bed to early .. and that is causing the problems. i let me son go to bed around 10 pm so he can get a good nights rest .. and he will sleep to 8 to 10 in the morning. he plays and does other things in the day. my son rarely takes a nap in the day ..if he does, its for about 30 minutes. that is rarely that he does. my son went thru the same things you are talking about .. thats a hard time .. for you and him.

 

[BeanMak]

Instead of forcing sleep, how about quiet time. Put down the younger one to nap, and then sit and quietly read to the older one for about an hour. Or put the older one in another room (in your bed maybe, or on the sofa) with a pile of books and encourage him to have is own quiet time for an hour reading and resting.

 

[lucypevensie]

I'd also not try to force a nap. You could try quiet time with books or something.

I'd skip the nap, then put him to be an hour earlier (or earlier if you think that's better).

When my son started to do what you describe (at age 2.5) I thought there was no way he could have a decent day without a nap. But I decided to try eliminating his naps and just put him to bed at night earlier than normal. He slept well at night. the transition from naps to no-naps was hard for about 2 weeks, then he started to gradually settle in to the new schedule.

It was harder for me than for him. No more afternoon quiet for me.

 

[Zoomer]

He may be ready to give up the nap and it may take him awhile to get used to a new schedule. My children did away with their naps around 2. At that point, they started sleeping later into the morning from about 8pm to 8am. My kids start to get tired in early evening, and that is usually when they have TV time, so they can sit, relax and get ready for bed.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

I read this OP thread bout 3 this mornin an since she said that before we all suggested her son didn't need a nap she explained how he was from 3 to 5 er there's bout. So I kept my mouth shut because I didn't think I could be of any help. Kat gave up her naps on er own an she does fine but that isn't sumthin that can go cross the board for everone.

If her son needs that afternoon sleep then wether he wants it er not he should be made to try an sleep. I think ya'll've suggested some helpful ideas, instead of a "nap" tell em to go have some "quiet time", hopefully his own body in that quiet time will tell em to go to sleep for a bit. But to entertain em durin this quiet time isn't gonna give em the rest he obviously needs an thus erin74 is gonna have a cranky son an then an over tired one jes the same.

The only real question I had was, what are his current sleepin hours? What time does he go to sleep an then what time does he get up? With Kat for example, she used to stay up with us til we went to bed when she was younger, somewhere round 11 er so, then she'd sleep til 8 er 9 in the mornin an did away with er naps. We've since placed er on a schedule an now goes to sleep at 9 an she gets up round 7 er 8 an doesn't need a nap. So I might suggest wakin em up a bit early so he's a bit more tired come afternoon. It's been my expereince with boys specifically they wear out an need a afternoon nap more so then gals do but again I wouldn't say that's cross the board. I agree that do sumthin in the mornins to help wear em out a bit is also a good idea, lately we've jes let Kat go out in the back an run er lil heart out in the evenin cause it seems she's not fallen asleep til 10 er so, so we've let er wear ersef out some an then she goes on to bed no problem.

 

[andiesmama]

I find with Andie (who will be 3 in June), if she skips her nap she's fine throughout the rest of the day but will have a huge meltdown around dinner time...her normal naps last about an hour & a half, and she sleeps about 10 hours at night.

If he's not wanting to sleep, then I agree with the poster who said to just try "quiet time" for 45 min or an hour, whatever you think. Then at least he'd have some "down time" (and so would you!)...if he doesn't sleep during the quiet time, maybe just move his bedtime up a half hour or so...

Good luck!

 

[erin74]

Well he's been having about 1-2 hours 'quiet time' each day he doesn't sleep. that's the deal in our house - if you dont' sleep you stay in your room. He usually looks out his window or reads books.

The thing is this has all changed abruptly as a result of losing the dummy - it happened last time we tried to lose the dummy too, before he was three.

He is a big sleeper - always has been. Slept 12-14 hours each night for a very long time, along with at least a 2 hour nap.

Lately - goes to bed 7:30pm - sleeps til around 7 - 7:30am. Then goes to bed 12:30pm til about 2:30 - 3pm.

post dummy

night sleeps the same - day sleep disappeared.

Now for the update - yesterday I very very consistantly came down on him every time he made a noise. Eventually he went to sleep - 90 minutes later. I woke him up about 1 hour after or it would have been too late in the afternoon for me to get him to sleep at night. I hated having to do it the nasty way... but at least he finally slept.

Today - we finish lunch. I was cleaning up when I heard his bedroom door close. Came in to find him putting himself to bed. Asleep within 5-10 minutes of going to bed. That was about 90 minutes ago. No sound from within. Once he goes to sleep he has no problems staying asleep, and very rarely wakes of his own accord before about 2 hours.

I really don't think that my son is ready to drop his sleep - I know a lot of kids are, but I really don't think he is. He is a very routine boy, and he was just getting into the habit of not sleeping. I am pretty sure that if I can get him back into his habit of sleeping things will go back to normal. It's just the dummy going thing....

Like I said in my post - its not that I expect him to do this every day. At his age, I expect that at least a couple of days a week he won't have a nap - depends on how busy the weeks been. But I wan't his norm to be a nap, cause I really do think he needs it.

Thanks for all your advice

 

[erin74]

I posted this in the women's forum too, and some of them asked what a dummy was. I didn't realise you might not know that one - it's a pacifier. Thought I'd better add that so it makes sense if you didn't know. Since that was the trigger for him not sleeping - might be a useful bit of info!

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

We call em binki's round here, but I knew what you meant, my wife an all er family call em dummies... brits! Anyways, we lost my daughters at a burger king, left it sittin on the tray an my threw it out an my daughter never looked back thankfully..... she's still goin on bout a braclet she lost 8 months ago hehe

Suggestions? You might find sumthin to take the place of his dummy, maybe a stuffed animal or a blanket? Sumthin that'll take the place of his dummy maybe he's lookin for a bit of security in it er the like.