To tell or not to tell

Honesty is always the best policy.

I am a newbie here also. Your situation has deeply touched my heart because I am going through a similar situation. My husband and I have been married for 4.5 rough years. I felt we were heading towards divorce. Within my heart I knew I wanted no one else, so I fought for 4 years because I had faith that we could make our marriage work. About 5 months ago,I began talking with a mutual friend of ours who was going through a bad marriage also, and we cared for each other in a way we were missing. I made the mistake of staying the night with him. I believed my husband didn't love me, and would leave. When he found out a week after it happened, it was a relief to me that he knew. I know I couldn't spend my life with the sin I committed hidden from my husband. In a marriage NOTHING should be hidden. Secrets will only tear down a marriage. Secrets that were being kept from each other was the reason our marriage was in trouble. 1John 1:9-10, Psalms 34:12-13, Proverbs 14:30, 1Cor. 10:13, James 5:16 These are a few verses that may help you, I know they have helped me. A book you may consider reading is "Love Everlasting". It is a Hallmark book full of Scriptures, and quotes which have helped me, and I look back through continuously to help me get through what I may face because of my sin. I would recommend counseling with your Pastor. It has helped us tremendously. I will pray that everything will go well for you, and remember God will never give you anything you won't be able to handle.

Tell him. If you aren't honest, what's the point? If your husband loves who he imagines you to be, but not who you are, that's not much of a marriage.

I don't know what desi's deal is. I think his position on this issue is a fairly unusual one, and I have been unable to figure out where he got it.

As a side note, the Bible clearly says there are times when lying is appropriate; check out Exodus 1. However, this does not strike me as one of those times.

MixedUP said:

I haven't posted in awhile and I wanted to thank everyone for their input. Just to update: I did tell my husband about the one night stand. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But I knew that I would not be able to live with the guilt. My husband forgave me and we are working on our marriage once again. We both acknowledged our mistakes and recommitted to going forward and keeping our marriage committment.

It has been a rough road and I still struggle with forgiving myself. Many blessings to each of you.

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Well, this makes my advice worthless, but apparently correct.

I am glad things are working well for you.

cutekid 4 Jesus said:

Id ignore Desi's post if i were u,deceit and dishonesty are totally unBiblical,that is not scripturally sound advice. Whether your husbands ask for divorce or whatever is not the point,you must accept the consequences of ur mistakes. It is a violation of his rights to be kept in the dark about your onenight stand-you are taking away his right to make his own INFORMED decision about whether he stays with you or not,as it stands now he does not know all the facts. Tell him,its the right thing to do.

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Agreed.

(Posted this before reaching the end. Good to hear the way things worked out.)

I don't see where any good could come from telling your loved one you did an incredibly stupid act 15 years previous. Only hurt.

Now if there is some grounds that you just simply CANNOT move foreward without confessing then go to a minister, seek counseling, etc. But to make someone's life come to a screeching halt with news like that is crazy to me. It makes no sense IMO.




edited for ahhhhhhhhh forget it. I am leaving this one alone. Glad things worked out for you.