To Old to Have a Baby?

walant · Dec 14, 2010

Hey Guys,or to the women who know their spouses answers, I was wondering on what your thoughts are for the age that you personally feel is to old to have a baby. I know it's kind of a weird question, but wanted to hear your opinions anyways. How many of you guys out there were older when you had your kids? What's your views and opinions about this?

Singermom · Dec 15, 2010

After menopause is too old to have children. Anything before that is OK.

Seriously, I'm one of those "older mothers". The ACTUAL phrase my doctor used was "advanced maternal age" (I LOVE that). I was 38 when I had my first, and 40 with #2.

Not my choice.

I was 20 when I married my husband, but, except for one miscarriage in 1986, just never got pregnant until 2002.

I feel that, as long as a person takes care of themselves reasonably (I'm not talking mad aerobicizer or ribbon-winning weightlifter), age really shouldn't matter. Yeah, I know that I'm going to be almost 60 when my "baby" graduates from high school. So were my sisters...and my mother. They had no problem...I certainly don't really see a problem.

The only part that is kind of "ow" is when I meet some of my daughters' friends' grandmothers, only to find out that they are contemporaries of mine!

Sorry for the rambling post; I hope I helped.

Michigan5-0 · Dec 15, 2010

walant said:
Hey Guys,or to the women who know their spouses answers, I was wondering on what your thoughts are for the age that you personally feel is to old to have a baby. I know it's kind of a weird question, but wanted to hear your opinions anyways. How many of you guys out there were older when you had your kids? What's your views and opinions about this?

A lot of people are saying the new age cut off should be 43-44

walant · Dec 15, 2010

Thanks to both of your answers so far. My wife is 36 and I am 39, and you hear pepole say one thing and then the other people others and I had interest in seeing what other christian based people say. In a way I feel as long as the person has enough love and faith and financial and relationship stability in their life and heart for another child that perhaps the age is not as important. i do a lot of thinking like you Singermom about the when they are in highschool....

Singermom · Dec 15, 2010

To be honest, I DON'T put a lot of thought into the "when they're in HS" thing. It seems that a lot of other people do; I just put it in as a reference point, basically saying I KNOW...but it isn't important. I'm just so blessed thankful that I finally had a baby...and then another!

I just remember something that I read in Dear Abby years ago. Someone wanted to go back to college, but their spouse said they were "too old". The person said, "I'll be [whatever age] in 4 years when I graduate."

Abby's answer was, "How old will you be in 4 years if you DON'T go back to school?"

I loved that.

I also want to stress that it was totally NOT our planning to be late-in-life parents. That was entirely a God thing. I was never on birth control, never went out of our way NOT to have children. We even tested for fertility.

I totally agree with your post, where you say, "as long as the person has enough love and faith and financial and relationship stability in their life and heart for another child that perhaps the age is not as important." I'll go so far as to say, if God feels you're ready...

walant · Dec 15, 2010

if God feels you're ready...

Very very true!!!!!!!!

Mayzoo · Dec 18, 2010

My 50 yr old brother in law has three; a 28 yr old, a 26 yr old and a 6 month old. I have not really asked him if he feels he is too old for a baby or not. When that unbelievably bright light of pride and love dims out a bit and I can get close enough to him without being blinded by it, I may ask.....but then I do not want to have my ears boxed by him, even if it is from love .

I was 34 when my daughter was born and hubby was 39. We only feel we were too old when our knees creek and groan, but then we would not change having her one bit, so we were not too old.

Spirit_Star · Dec 23, 2010

Hmmm well for me personnel I wouldn't want to have a natural child past 45. I’ll be 28 next May. I don't see any babys in the near future. So if I ever have biokids probably wouldn't be until my late 30's to mid 40s. Of course one never knows what God has planned I know a lady she’s 37 about ready to drop her daughter. The baby was not planned in fact if you asked her a year ago that she'd be having a baby in about a year she probably would have laughed.

When my brother was born my mom was 38 and Dad was 37. First child for Dad and third child for my mom, she had her first at 21 and second at 23. Her first spouse died of cancer. Then when I was placed as a foster child they were 42 and 41. My Aunt (dad's sister) and her husband were in their late 40’s when they adopted my cousin he was an infant. He was born in Feb and my Aunt turned 48 or 49 that December and her husband is 1 or 2 years younger then her. They said they know of a few other “older” parents. They got married in 2000 so they weren't together for like decades though both had been previously married, no children.

I remember once my brothers friend thought our parents were his grandparents, and that’s even with our parents looking younger then they actually are

Just4Jesus · Jan 26, 2011

Your only as old as you feel never too old

Monaleezza · Feb 1, 2011

If you can still conceive go for it!

lisah · Aug 19, 2011

walant said:
Hey Guys,or to the women who know their spouses answers, I was wondering on what your thoughts are for the age that you personally feel is to old to have a baby. I know it's kind of a weird question, but wanted to hear your opinions anyways. How many of you guys out there were older when you had your kids? What's your views and opinions about this?

I was nearly forty when I had my one and only child. I would say that one of the disadvantages was that I hit my "mid-life crisis" when she was about five. My whole viewpoint on life began to change around that time as I began to pursue some things that interested me. (I've always been the "late bloomer".)

I'm almost 53 and I really wouldn't want to start over with a baby, but I can see how some women might be ready to start a family at this age too. I think it's ok, but have a good support system behind you.

Oh, btw. It did take about three years to get pregnant. Age can make that a bit more difficult.

God's Special Angel · Sep 24, 2011

I was 38 years old when I had my first child. And I am now 40 years old and TTC #2. The thought of menopause makes me sad. I am trying to just be optimistic about it at this point. A period is a good thing.

Mrs. Luther073082 · Sep 28, 2011

At this point in my life I feel like somewhere between 32-35 would be too old, just based off of the risks I learned about in school. However, I am encouraged to hear so many of you went past the "textbook" age and did just fine Sometimes life doesn't go by the book.

sk8Joyful · Sep 28, 2011

walant said:
Hey Guys, or to the women who know their spouses answers, I was wondering on what your thoughts are for the age that you personally feel is to old to have a baby.
How many of you guys out there were older when you had your kids? What's your views and opinions about this?

Since being in their 90's in the Bible was not too old to have
a Baby isn't this a 'non-starter' for a question.

sk8Joyful · Sep 28, 2011

God's Special Angel said:
I was 38 years old when I had my first child. And I am now 40 years old and TTC #2.

The thought of menopause makes me sad. I am trying to just be optimistic about it at this point. A period is a good thing.

You don't have to do menopause, you know. You can just skip it. That's right, keep your periods; and your bone-density , & all your other good health. Why? - to better PRAISE God!

sk8Joyful · Sep 28, 2011

AssortedColors said:
Your only as old as you feel never too old

Exceptional-attitudes, & Thoughts, & Emotional/feelings are certainly part of the picture. And when done on the subconscious Mind level, yes, - then you can birth children unto God in later years. They did it in the Bible, so obviously it's possible.

JaneFW · Sep 28, 2011

walant said:
Hey Guys,or to the women who know their spouses answers, I was wondering on what your thoughts are for the age that you personally feel is to old to have a baby. I know it's kind of a weird question, but wanted to hear your opinions anyways. How many of you guys out there were older when you had your kids? What's your views and opinions about this?

My h was ready to stop with the baby-making a long time before I was. I personally feel that it's a decision to be made equally between husband wife. There are risks involved - including the risk of a less healthy baby and a more complicated pregnancy, and a higher risk of needing a c-section. I had my child at 37, and it was much more difficult than I think it would have been 10 years earlier.

I am now post-menopausal at 49, so it's not even an issue anymore.

JaneFW · Sep 28, 2011

sk8Joyful said:
You don't have to do menopause, you know. You can just skip it. That's right, keep your periods; and your bone-density , & all your other good health. Why? - to better PRAISE God!

The hormones that God gave us direct when menopause will begin. You can't pray menopause away.

sk8Joyful · Sep 28, 2011

JaneFW said:
The hormones that God gave us

direct when menopause will begin. You can't pray menopause away.

I said nothing about "praying menopause away".

And these hormones God gave us as individuals... the choice... to control. PRAISE God!

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