Shalom,
This passage has been on my mind for years and if you're on the same page I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings, to discuss and share in a 'safe space'...
Perhaps about HOW God had called you, your situation at the time, what happened, and where you see the future heading ?
Some quotes from 1 Cor. 7:
Paul clearly prioritises the pursuit of God over marriage even for those who are married, that "they that have wives be as though they had none" (v. 29), to the point of discounting wives as "things of the world", in contradiction to "things that belong to the Lord". Which is quite a radical statement in our world, contrary to the culture of idealised romances and marriages, rom coms, love songs, Romeo & Juliette, etc, as the worldly standard of 'normal'. -- To marry, or not, rather than, HOW to remain single and serve the Lord.
Personally, having had been in a relationship (unmarried) with a young lady for nearly a decade and knowing the level of involvement that entails, and also seeing all the married couples around me with their busy schedules, routines, stress, and commitments, it's obvious that single people have more TIME and ENERGY, being free from dependents etc. But I wonder, how is everyone else spending their time and energy, and WHAT are you doing with your freedom ?
i.e. Paul says, "that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction" (v. 35) but obviously the Lord is not currently with us, not in the physical and complete sense, and being Protestant (as most here are - but also for other Christians) there aren't necessarily clear avenues for 'attending upon the Lord', if that makes sense, e.g. joining a monastery is out of the question for most, and 999 out 1000 churches don't operate as synagogue communes where Paul and (poorer) Early Church believers would stayed. Thus, 'doing the Lord's work', 'serving the Lord', etc, are abstract concepts at best, at the same time presumptuous and sketchy if one isn't careful in most other cases.
To be clear, this is not about 'sin' and moral absolutes (i.e. sinning or not sinning), but about relative pursuits of Godliness, holiness, perfection, and 'works' for lack of better term, but also about training oneself and levelling up so to speak, being ready to serve the Lord himself in person in future.
So tell me, where were you at when God called you ?
I was called during a period of singleness (end of a relationship that didn't progress to marriage - thankfully), but also was called during a period of unemployment being freed I suppose from professional slavery (contractual duties, workplace bullying and threat of legal action from employers etc -- high stress, impossible quotas, psychological games, politics and sabotage, etc).
In hindsight, I realise that in the past decade the Lord has been constantly teaching me, re-educating me through Scripture, meditation, prayer, and related areas like theology, doctrine, history, science, philosophy, languages, cultural studies etc, and allowing me TIME to spend with brothers and sisters like yourselves on CF and elsewhere... Also a sense of self worth, defined by Scripture and not by worldly standards, and a sense of peace and comfort that I don't think I ever had before, having been under pressure from a young age, to conform and perform, to compete and win, etc.
I suppose it's something one hardly notices until it becomes apparent, for me it's been from catching up with others and realising that while were were once the same (stereotypically identical as children and teenagers), yet life has changed and I myself have changed. Which I suppose is true of newborns who all appear relatively the same in hospital wards, creches, etc, and yet they're not the same at all, having different parents and growing up to be different people.
What I've noticed about my married friends and married oldies is that they are always 'too busy' for anything apart from marriage / parenting duties, and the worldly affairs necessary to sustain that, consistent employment, housing, bills, parenting duties, etc. It's like they're spiritually handicapped and stunted in growth (stuck at the point of marriage), locked into living a life of tunnel vision, ignorance, and repetition. -- It's been noticeably difficult engaging with them in church settings, communicating amongst leaders, where 9 out of 10 are married, constantly pre-occupied and distracted, utterly unlike the Apostles and bishops in the Early Church who were devout and 'blameless', with one mind and one heart.
It reminds me of this one time when I was in a meeting with the principle of a college, when his phone rang. He called back urgently (it sounded important), abruptly apologised to me he dashed out of the building as if running for his life. I told him it was fine and I'd stay and wait, well, I ended up waiting half the day, reading old theology books in his office library. Finally, when he returned hours later, apologetically, saying something about his wife, but the meeting was a complete waste of time, nothing had been achieved, and he wasn't ready for a rendezvous anytime soon...
Anyhow, just another brother ruminating on the purpose of life for single people in the Lord, social roles, Christian community, doing the will of God, and generally, how to best prepare for the Lord's return.
Thank you and please comment kindly. -- I'd love to hear where you're at, and or if you need help.
Blessings
This passage has been on my mind for years and if you're on the same page I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings, to discuss and share in a 'safe space'...
Perhaps about HOW God had called you, your situation at the time, what happened, and where you see the future heading ?
Some quotes from 1 Cor. 7:
- Celibate men: "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." (v. 1-2)
- Unmarried (single women) and widows: "For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn." (v. 7-9)
- Divorced Christian women: "But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife." (v. 11)
- Abandoned Christian women: "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." (v. 15)
- Situation at point of calling: "But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. ...
Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant. Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God."
(v. 17, 20-24) - "But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife." (v. 32-33)
- Holiness in body and spirit: "There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." (v. 34)
- "And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction." (v. 35)
Paul clearly prioritises the pursuit of God over marriage even for those who are married, that "they that have wives be as though they had none" (v. 29), to the point of discounting wives as "things of the world", in contradiction to "things that belong to the Lord". Which is quite a radical statement in our world, contrary to the culture of idealised romances and marriages, rom coms, love songs, Romeo & Juliette, etc, as the worldly standard of 'normal'. -- To marry, or not, rather than, HOW to remain single and serve the Lord.
Personally, having had been in a relationship (unmarried) with a young lady for nearly a decade and knowing the level of involvement that entails, and also seeing all the married couples around me with their busy schedules, routines, stress, and commitments, it's obvious that single people have more TIME and ENERGY, being free from dependents etc. But I wonder, how is everyone else spending their time and energy, and WHAT are you doing with your freedom ?
i.e. Paul says, "that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction" (v. 35) but obviously the Lord is not currently with us, not in the physical and complete sense, and being Protestant (as most here are - but also for other Christians) there aren't necessarily clear avenues for 'attending upon the Lord', if that makes sense, e.g. joining a monastery is out of the question for most, and 999 out 1000 churches don't operate as synagogue communes where Paul and (poorer) Early Church believers would stayed. Thus, 'doing the Lord's work', 'serving the Lord', etc, are abstract concepts at best, at the same time presumptuous and sketchy if one isn't careful in most other cases.
To be clear, this is not about 'sin' and moral absolutes (i.e. sinning or not sinning), but about relative pursuits of Godliness, holiness, perfection, and 'works' for lack of better term, but also about training oneself and levelling up so to speak, being ready to serve the Lord himself in person in future.
So tell me, where were you at when God called you ?
I was called during a period of singleness (end of a relationship that didn't progress to marriage - thankfully), but also was called during a period of unemployment being freed I suppose from professional slavery (contractual duties, workplace bullying and threat of legal action from employers etc -- high stress, impossible quotas, psychological games, politics and sabotage, etc).
In hindsight, I realise that in the past decade the Lord has been constantly teaching me, re-educating me through Scripture, meditation, prayer, and related areas like theology, doctrine, history, science, philosophy, languages, cultural studies etc, and allowing me TIME to spend with brothers and sisters like yourselves on CF and elsewhere... Also a sense of self worth, defined by Scripture and not by worldly standards, and a sense of peace and comfort that I don't think I ever had before, having been under pressure from a young age, to conform and perform, to compete and win, etc.
I suppose it's something one hardly notices until it becomes apparent, for me it's been from catching up with others and realising that while were were once the same (stereotypically identical as children and teenagers), yet life has changed and I myself have changed. Which I suppose is true of newborns who all appear relatively the same in hospital wards, creches, etc, and yet they're not the same at all, having different parents and growing up to be different people.
What I've noticed about my married friends and married oldies is that they are always 'too busy' for anything apart from marriage / parenting duties, and the worldly affairs necessary to sustain that, consistent employment, housing, bills, parenting duties, etc. It's like they're spiritually handicapped and stunted in growth (stuck at the point of marriage), locked into living a life of tunnel vision, ignorance, and repetition. -- It's been noticeably difficult engaging with them in church settings, communicating amongst leaders, where 9 out of 10 are married, constantly pre-occupied and distracted, utterly unlike the Apostles and bishops in the Early Church who were devout and 'blameless', with one mind and one heart.
It reminds me of this one time when I was in a meeting with the principle of a college, when his phone rang. He called back urgently (it sounded important), abruptly apologised to me he dashed out of the building as if running for his life. I told him it was fine and I'd stay and wait, well, I ended up waiting half the day, reading old theology books in his office library. Finally, when he returned hours later, apologetically, saying something about his wife, but the meeting was a complete waste of time, nothing had been achieved, and he wasn't ready for a rendezvous anytime soon...
Anyhow, just another brother ruminating on the purpose of life for single people in the Lord, social roles, Christian community, doing the will of God, and generally, how to best prepare for the Lord's return.
Thank you and please comment kindly. -- I'd love to hear where you're at, and or if you need help.
Blessings
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