to do it...or not to do it

[goldensunshine]

i m not facing any sort of trouble here, but there is one topic which i find worthy for discussion and debate...

would you marry someone whome you really love very much but you don't find sexually attractive at all? i mean, that person can be really fat and disfigured and sitting on a wheel chair and all these, but you really love that person, would you still marry him? i know, love and marriage isn't all about sex, but i don't think it is all about love also. how can you pretend to enjoy every night with him when you really don't? at some point or another, problems will arise, right?

if your answer to that above answer is no, then would you even be his/her boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place?

 

[Madcoil]

To tell you the truth, I wouldn't even want to KNOW someone who was fat, disgusting and in a wheelchair, least of all be their friend, and/or boyfriend. I wouldn't even want to have someone who was fat, ugly and in a wheelchair to stop me in the street and ask for a quarter.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

To tell you the truth, I wouldn't even want to KNOW someone who was fat, disgusting and in a wheelchair, least of all be their friend, and/or boyfriend. I wouldn't even want to have someone who was fat, ugly and in a wheelchair to stop me in the street and ask for a quarter.

I can feel the love.

 

[Madcoil]

I can feel the love.

It's not pretty, but it's true.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

It's not pretty, but it's true.

I don't doubt that it's true - if it wasn't true, I don't see why you'd post such a thing. But you did post it, so I assume it is true (of you). My response was a sarcastic way of saying that I find your position to be an extremely un-loving one. You might not want to know someone who's fat and in a wheelchair...I, personally, would rather know them than someone who automatically doesn't want to know them based on their physical appearance.

 

[Randall McNally]

To the OP:

There isn't any requirement that you marry someone you love. Marriage traditionally has had a sexual component, and there's nothing wrong with that. Sex is something people do because it's a biological imperative and because they enjoy it.

Marrying someone you're not sexually compatible with might put you in the perhaps unenviable position of wanting to go outside your marriage for sexual relations. While an open arrangement works for some, others find it requires too much effort.

There is no real need to view marriage as the ultimate goal or a necessary consequence of love, at least from my perspective. Close, trusted friends are just as essential as husbands and wives.

 

[HouseApe]

i m not facing any sort of trouble here, but there is one topic which i find worthy for discussion and debate...

would you marry someone whome you really love very much but you don't find sexually attractive at all? i mean, that person can be really fat and disfigured and sitting on a wheel chair and all these, but you really love that person, would you still marry him? i know, love and marriage isn't all about sex, but i don't think it is all about love also. how can you pretend to enjoy every night with him when you really don't? at some point or another, problems will arise, right?

if your answer to that above answer is no, then would you even be his/her boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place?

Dammit honey, I told you not to post our personal problems on the Internet!

 

[Norseman]

i m not facing any sort of trouble here, but there is one topic which i find worthy for discussion and debate...

would you marry someone whome you really love very much but you don't find sexually attractive at all? i mean, that person can be really fat and disfigured and sitting on a wheel chair and all these, but you really love that person, would you still marry him? i know, love and marriage isn't all about sex, but i don't think it is all about love also. how can you pretend to enjoy every night with him when you really don't? at some point or another, problems will arise, right?

if your answer to that above answer is no, then would you even be his/her boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place?

If you have no sexual/intimate relationship, it's really just an extended friendship, not marriage.

 

[HazyRigby]

would you marry someone whome you really love very much but you don't find sexually attractive at all?

Nope. Never. I don't intend to contribute to the divorce rate.

Now, if my husband became disfigured or handicapped, that wouldn't change my feelings about him one bit.

 

[Eudaimonist]

would you marry someone whom you really love very much but you don't find sexually attractive at all?

Friendship, yes. Marriage, no.

Sexuality is a part of marriage, and there is no point in being a martyr.

 

[kedaman]

it's a biological imperative

Funny.. are you making religion out of science?

To the OP: No

 

[feral]

Yes. Sex and prettiness don't matter a whole heck of a lot to me. If I ever decided to marry, which I doubt I ever would, the non-physical qualities in my partner - intelligence, personality, honesty - would matter more to me then whether he or she (ruling nothing out here) is good looking or sexually attractive. I would want a spouse with whom I could have long discussions, who shared my interests, with whom I could do things - a companion more then a lover. Yes, the sex aspect would play a role, and I would prefer to be with someone I found attractive, but that wouldn't be the deciding factor. Love matters more then beauty, and beauty fades.

 

[lunalinda]

Outer beauty fades, anyway. *grin*

 

[The Seeker]

I'm not sure I'd want to marry anybody, least of all if it meant never having sex that I'd enjoy for the rest of my life

 

[Randall McNally]

Funny.. are you making religion out of science?

Pardon? I'm pretty sure I wrote "biological imperative," rather than "moral imperative" or something like that. I don't think it takes all that much faith to recognize the centrality of reproduction for the whole of living things, especially in light of evolutionary theory. The drive to reproduce surely differs from individual to individual but evolutionary theory describes populations anyway.

 

[Randall McNally]

Outer beauty fades, anyway. *grin*

I bet shooting lightning from your body doesn't help. Assuming that is you in your avatar.

 

[Soc12]

I personally know that with my girlfriend, if she started to get fat I would still be sexually attracted to her. I love her enough to know that if I did anything sexual with her, even if she got fat, it would still be better than with any extremely hot model or anything, just because of the fact it is with her and I feel so comfortable around her and it would just feel right.

 

[arizona_sunshine]

Nope. Never. I don't intend to contribute to the divorce rate.

Now, if my husband became disfigured or handicapped, that wouldn't change my feelings about him one bit.

I agree with this outlook.

I would not marry someone I am not physically attracted to. However, my range of acceptance is pretty vast and largely based on a personality connection.

 

[arizona_sunshine]

Dammit honey, I told you not to post our personal problems on the Internet!

 

[morningstar2651]

i m not facing any sort of trouble here, but there is one topic which i find worthy for discussion and debate...

would you marry someone whome you really love very much but you don't find sexually attractive at all? i mean, that person can be really fat and disfigured and sitting on a wheel chair and all these, but you really love that person, would you still marry him? i know, love and marriage isn't all about sex, but i don't think it is all about love also. how can you pretend to enjoy every night with him when you really don't? at some point or another, problems will arise, right?

if your answer to that above answer is no, then would you even be his/her boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place?

If you love them, you enjoy their company regardless of how they look. If you pretend, problems will arise.