To be one

[IKTCA]

I ask ..... on behalf of those
who will believe in me through their (the Twelve) word,
that they may all be one. (John 17:20)

God did not want Adam to be alone. It is the will of God that a man has friends. It is also the desire of man. No one wants to be a loner. I heard solitary confinement is the worst incarceration.

I have friends at my church. But I am not one with them yet. If I revealed the most secret desires to them, still I wouldn’t be one with them.

There is inner me that even I do not know. Only Jesus knows inner me and only his words reveal inner me (to me). I thought I was a good person. Then I read the Philippians.

Regard others better than yourselves. (2:3)

This word of Jesus, spoken through Paul to me, revealed inner me, to whom most of my brothers were not better than myself.

I want to be one with my brothers at my church. But if we do not reflect ourselves on the words of Jesus, we do not know inner us. Without knowing inner us, we cannot share inner us. Without sharing inner us, we cannot be one. My anguish is that we do not know inner us.

I want to be one with the friends here at Deeper Fellowship. I want to share inner me with them, as they share inner them with me. That is my prayer.

 

[heron]

iktca,

Regard others better than yourselves. (2:3) --that's been a big one for me, too.

Friends at church--I think that we're all a little shallow with each other these days, between working overtime and driving kids to soccer and keeping up on technology and current events...I think that in the forum, people are much more open to say what's really on their hearts.

We're glad you're here.

 

[angelwind]

I agree with heron...many seem to be sharing their inner "me" as well as they can here at CF. Some don't want to see what is in their heart...some can get too occupied with the "me" side...but we are all trying to communicate.

But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. 1John 1:7

 

[IKTCA]

Correction:

I want to be one with my brothers at my church. But if we do not reflect ourselves on the words of Jesus, we do not know inner us. Without knowing inner us, we cannot share inner us. Without sharing inner us, we cannot be one. My anguish is that we do not know inner us.

My apology for misunderstanding.

 

[angelwind]

Correction:


My apology for misunderstanding.

I see that little "S" icon...did you get signed on as a moderator?


PS.....I see you are in training...

 

[IKTCA]

Yes, I am a moderator in training.
Rupert

 

[angelwind]

Yes, I am a moderator in training.
Rupert

This is good news dear brother Rupert.

 

[IKTCA]

Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me,
so that they may be one, as we are one. (John 17:11)

Jesus taught the disciples of his love. Now Jesus is returning to the Father and the disciples will be without the Lord. They will have to continue the Lord’s ministry and become one.

After I was found by the Lord, as any new born believer would, I basked in the bosom of the Lord for about 10 years. One-on-one bible lessons, and carefree and worry-free joy. I had no friends to share my thoughts and joys. Often I asked the Lord to give me a friend but he seemed to say that he would be my friend.

After those 10 good years, the Lord opened my eyes and let me see the condition of his church. I spoke harsh words and hurt many believers. I could not stay at one church because I alienated many. I was much confused.

Slowly I started to understand the epistles. The words in the letters came to my heart with conviction. I could feel the heart of Paul, a true servant of Christ. Harsh words started to slip away.

Then I learned. Those I spoke harsh words to were to be my friends. The Lord put them around me so that I could become their friends. They needed a friend who cared for them.

The love of God that he poured during those 10 years was to prepare me to become one with other believers. It was only the beginning of my oneness training.

Lord,
You gave me your blood to make me one with other children of yours. You gave me knowledge to instill in me a desire for oneness. All the grace I have received from you was for this oneness.

Lord,
Since I know now, I will complain no more. Only strengthen me to become one with all. Amen.

 

[heron]

Ten years is such a long time. Does your church have any home groups or mid-week bible studies?


Some things I've learned about friendships in general, just from being thrown into a lot of new situations:

Assume that people want friends. If you approach them with timidity, they don't know how to react. Be bold and sure inside yourself, be the instigator of the conversation, confidently treat everyone as your friend, whether you're sure or not.

Some people are feeling the same distance that you are, and are afraid of rejection. Make everyone feel accepted.

Don't focus on your weaknesses. Don't even bring them up. It puts people in a position to be in judgment about them, good or bad. Keep conversations moving forward to a good cause.

Move around the room, smiling to people that you recognize, so you are building friendships gradually at a safe distance.

Try to spread friendship broad and thin at first, rather than trying to focus on one person that you'd like to know. They might feel pressured, pulled, or overwhelmed with too much attention.

When you enter a conversation, follow it to hear what people are saying before you speak, or you might sidetrack it.

Join some groups where you serve others, and focus on the goal of the group. People will build respect for you. (I hope!)

If you invited others to do something outside of church, keep it simple and practical. People weigh how much time they want to invest in new activities.

Recognize that there are some parts of people that you don't want to know!

People are thinking about their own things, so make sure you focus on their subject, not just your own agendas. Think about their families, their activities, and see if there are any changes in their lives you should be caring about (deaths in the family, kids on mission trips).
​

Some churches are in-the-door, out-the-door, without much human contact...especially large churches. If this is so, ask the pastor if they might not mind adding friendship greetings, small groups of prayer during the service, outside special interest groups (biking, writer's groups, canoeing, running, intercession, soup kitchen work).

You are the one with the desire in the heart for deeper relationships. Part of this is probably a gift you have, a passion to balance the church of God, and this is your "appendage of the Body" to accomplish.

 

[heron]

After breaking forum for my morning shower, I got some flashbacks of my first experiences at a very dynamic church. Like you, I sat in the seats for months, trying to say hello to people after the service, but everyone was so eager to get to their friends, they made no effort to even say hi.

In fact, for an entire year, the minister's wife was the only one who spoke with us, and the pastor's doorway greeting was a "pull-the-hand-along" shake. At the church prior to that one, I held many positions of responsibility and visibility, so it naturally drove me nuts.

Did I have spinach in my teeth?

I loved the church. The congregation was lively, and appeared loving. The service was casual, friendly and outgoing. The individuals were so caught up in worship and their established connections, they forgot the needs of newcomers.

My first year was painful. You were not a newcomer after ten years.

Some of the loving steps I saw people eventually take, that could be useful for us all to keep in mind:

1. A group of single women were going out for lunch. They grabbed me and asked if I wanted to join them. It was great, because it was spontaneous and unofficial--making me feel like a friend, not just a part of the church.

2. These same women organized birthday dinners for each other, and included whoever came to their mind.

3. They took under their wing another woman who with some disabilities, and this woman was included in every activity.

4. One of these women would grab a few kids during the service, and form a dance ring with them in a back corner. It made me feel loved, having someone else care about my kids enjoying church.

In some churches I've seen successful bonding at monthly women's coffee night out and men's weekly breakfasts at the diner. Those are settings where people feel more comfortable talking at a deeper level.

 

[HomeBound]

It helps me when I think of everyone (not just people here or at church) as spirit. People who may seem less important in this world, may be great spirits in the life to come. Since this enlightenment, I've learned a lot from people that others see as ignorant, slow, annoying, imature, handicap(able) etc...

Love is the key to becomming one with each other, and with God.