tired and discouraged

[mamaoftwo]

Hello all, I am new here, but just looking for somewhere to find a bit of support and encouragement.
I have a 2 year old daughter and a 4 week old daughter. My husband began an affair and drug use about one month after our discovery of my pregnancy. Due to his refusal to provide for us or come home any longer, we had to leave and move with my family out of state.
Now, I am in a new state, just had a baby and am finishing some training prior to seeking a new job as I have been a stay at home mom for 2 years.
My husband filed for divorce and has tried to take my daughters from me, but thanks to my parents financial support, I have obtained full custody of my girls.
I am having a bit of a hard time processing everything. I am hurting deeply, but don't really feel like anyone cares or understands. My husband and I met doing ministry and I thought we had a "Christian" marriage as we both really loved the Lord.
Now, I am in someone else's home with a newborn daughter and toddler. I have absolutely no help with them, virtually no sleep, extremely high standards to attain to in this family members home, where there is no love or grace, but a clean safe home to be in for now. Not the healthiest emotional/spiritual environment, but its the only option for now.
I have gotten involved in a wonderful and very supportive church, but am having a really hard time reaching out. I am so embarassed of the depth of my need right now, and am just hanging on by a thread.
From the day I came home from the hospital with my new daughter, I have been back to my normal schedule with no extra rest or time to just enjoy her.
I just don't know what to do about now. I am praying, and in the Word but not as much as I'd like to be. I'm regularly attending church. But I am just lonely, hurting, broken, disillusioned.
I want to believe God for what He has for me and my girls, but its very hard. I am SO heartbroken that my life has turned out this way and have no idea what practical steps to take to not end up like either of my parents with multiple divorces and unhealthy relationships.

I don't know what I am asking for, maybe just prayer? Thanks.

Dying inside, but clinging to Christ,
Mamaoftwo

 

[FaithPrevails]

Hi there and welcome to CF.

I'm sorry that this post has gotten missed. I hope you come back again and see my response.

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate all at once. What a struggle to be displaced, have to deal with the shenanigans of your ex, and be struggling to adjust/adapt to a newborn (and second child) - all pretty much on your own.

It is easy to feel isolated and depressed/lonely in your situation. It's good that you are in a church. Ask them about resources for helping you get through all of this and grieve the loss of your marriage.

I will be lifting you in prayer. God bless you!

 

[AllieBaba2012]

Hello all, I am new here, but just looking for somewhere to find a bit of support and encouragement.
I have a 2 year old daughter and a 4 week old daughter. My husband began an affair and drug use about one month after our discovery of my pregnancy. Due to his refusal to provide for us or come home any longer, we had to leave and move with my family out of state.
Now, I am in a new state, just had a baby and am finishing some training prior to seeking a new job as I have been a stay at home mom for 2 years.
My husband filed for divorce and has tried to take my daughters from me, but thanks to my parents financial support, I have obtained full custody of my girls.
I am having a bit of a hard time processing everything. I am hurting deeply, but don't really feel like anyone cares or understands. My husband and I met doing ministry and I thought we had a "Christian" marriage as we both really loved the Lord.
Now, I am in someone else's home with a newborn daughter and toddler. I have absolutely no help with them, virtually no sleep, extremely high standards to attain to in this family members home, where there is no love or grace, but a clean safe home to be in for now. Not the healthiest emotional/spiritual environment, but its the only option for now.
I have gotten involved in a wonderful and very supportive church, but am having a really hard time reaching out. I am so embarassed of the depth of my need right now, and am just hanging on by a thread.
From the day I came home from the hospital with my new daughter, I have been back to my normal schedule with no extra rest or time to just enjoy her.
I just don't know what to do about now. I am praying, and in the Word but not as much as I'd like to be. I'm regularly attending church. But I am just lonely, hurting, broken, disillusioned.
I want to believe God for what He has for me and my girls, but its very hard. I am SO heartbroken that my life has turned out this way and have no idea what practical steps to take to not end up like either of my parents with multiple divorces and unhealthy relationships.

I don't know what I am asking for, maybe just prayer? Thanks.

Dying inside, but clinging to Christ,
Mamaoftwo

Prayers for you, and I have definitely been there and God will see you through! Keep up in your prayer, it's wonderful you have found a church family, and keep working towards your goal, and you will come out, stronger, on the other side.

I understand your heartbreak, and self doubt, and exhaustion, and depression that you are the only one who really CARES about your infants, but hang in there. Your love, and the love of Christ, will be more than enough for them. And their love, and the love of Christ, will be enough for you. Learn to recognize it and revel in it! And instead of concentrating on all that is wrong, and out of whack, and miserable, really, REALLY enjoy those moments that are perfect, and be thankful you have perfect moments. Things will come around.