Tips for being married in college???

Like I said before, I really don't think this thread is the appropriate place for all the "wait until college and if you don't, getting married is obviously purely about sex" stuff. I understand that people have differing viewpoints, but I don't go around telling everyone who's been in a serious relationship for an extended period of time that they should just go ahead and get married even though they feel it's best to wait until graduating, so I don't take people, who don't know my situation, telling me that I'm wrong for wanting to get married in college and that I'm motivated by nothing but sex very well. Clearly you've got the prejudgement in your mind, Isabella84, that I'm getting married at 19 while in college just so I can have sex with my future husband, so I won't even bother trying to tell you otherwise - except for the fact that if I so badly couldn't wait to have sex with my future husband, I wouldn't. I'd be like the many other Christians who make up excuses in their heads to make it okay to have pre-marital sex. Unlike the majority of the world, Christians included, I don't have committment phobia.

And Weasel7711, there are many things I could say in response to your post, but I won't. I'll just say that I agree with kiora in that I don't have to be supported by my future husband, and I feel that's a very important thing to me. IMO, a woman going into a marriage unable to support herself should something happen (death of her husband, etc.) is a recipe for a disaster. It's not any of this women's lib crap that I'm trying to feed you, but I think that any self respecting woman would have the desire to be able to support herself and her family if need be. I'll just leave it at that.

Well I never said you were wrong, I said it was a TIP and it will HELP if you wait. I don't expect you to get divorced just because you get married in college, but if you want to avoid a LOT of stresses, waiting would be ideal.

But thanks to everyone who jumped on me like a pack of starving ravenous wolves.

Some of you must have had some horrible arguments with people to have jumped on the defensive so quickly after my advice to wait. Sheesh. Again, I apologize if I offended, that was not my intention.

Weasel7711 said:

Well I never said you were wrong, I said it was a TIP and it will HELP if you wait. I don't expect you to get divorced just because you get married in college, but if you want to avoid a LOT of stresses, waiting would be ideal.

But thanks to everyone who jumped on me like a pack of starving ravenous wolves.

Some of you must have had some horrible arguments with people to have jumped on the defensive so quickly after my advice to wait. Sheesh. Again, I apologize if I offended, that was not my intention.

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I actually agree with you...its much easier to wait until you are done with school (or at least ONE of you is!)...that is what my boyfriend and I plan to do...so we have time to plan financially for a marriage...however I do know ppl who are married in college...it is NOT easy and I'm sure everyone in here is aware of that! I say do it on GOD's TIMING!!!! God just told my boyfriend and I to wait until we are done with school...however do keep in mind folks 1 Cor 7...it is better to marry than to burn in lust...so if you can wait...WAIT...if not...then you're not going to hell for getting married so quickly! lol

Wow I feel like an idiot!

I also agree this isn't the place for this as it is completely off topic to the original post; I only wanted to ask a question and really should have known better than to ask it here.

I think I'll go thread just for this issue.

I started a thread for this in the courting couples forum.

http://www.christianforums.com/t4845932-marriage-in-college.html#post32025399

I apologize if i made you feel like an idiot. I know you are probably super excited to get married.

Weasel7711 said:

I apologize if i made you feel like an idiot. I know you are probably super excited to get married.

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It wasn't you; it was the fact I opened a can of worms. hehe.

No hard feelings.

I am also dealing with this issue, as of late is has become quite a burden upon myself and my fiance'. I am 18 and will be 19 when we get married in August. Or so we plan... we were engaged in November and have planned for a summer wedding ever since. He is 20 and we are both college freshman. I have procrastinated about what to major in and finally decided upon a technical program that, if I had decided this at the beginning for the semester, I could be close to finishing. However, my late decision will put me graduating about a year and a half from now and he will not graduate for three. We have been together for three years and would very much like to get married soon. As the date approaches it seems more and more like it will be impossible for us to both work, and go to school. I dont thinkn that we can make ends meet unless one of us quits school and works full tiem. Or, we could wait almost to years until I finish my degree. This option seems impossible as well I can not imagine going with out my sweetheart this long especially when I have thought we would be married iin onl ya few months for so long. Does anyone have any adivce? i would love to have a college degree as soon as possible, but I dont see it possible if we get married in August, adn I simply cant imagine waiting any longer. What to do..

in this case, unfortunately you don't have much choice but to wait, unless you can find out a way to make ends meet while you're both in school...

I talked to my mum yesterday and I have a little more advice or knowledge, or whatever you want to call it.

My brother (doing a high level degree (i.e. oen you have to work HARD to get into.)) will have approx 50-60 hours study per week, every week. Add to this about 15 hours work (so he can live) 1.5 hours travel to work, and probably 5 hours travel to Uni. Then he has to cook, clean and all the rest.

If you are doing a hard degree, do consider those sort of details, because after 70+ hours of working/study/travel a week, he'd have no time for a girlfriend (or church even) never mind a wife!

I am not sure if we can make ends meet, that seems to be the problem. Our worst fear is getting married in August starting school in Septemeber and realizing by October that someone has to quit school and waste a whole semesters tuition. However, I think it might be posible and if so I want get married. We wont have health insurance with out part time jobs and that is my fiance's biggest concern. Is it possible for a young couple making 1200 a month and a 200 dollar a month mortgage to survive?

darah said:

I am not sure if we can make ends meet, that seems to be the problem. Our worst fear is getting married in August starting school in Septemeber and realizing by October that someone has to quit school and waste a whole semesters tuition. However, I think it might be posible and if so I want get married. We wont have health insurance with out part time jobs and that is my fiance's biggest concern. Is it possible for a young couple making 1200 a month and a 200 dollar a month mortgage to survive?

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your rent is only 200 dollars? depending on if you have car note utilities and groceries ..i think you could make it, you would have to be careful but you could...God bless

My fiance and I will both be 20 by the time we get married, but only through two years of undergrad. So, we're both looking at two years together at our current school, which has on-campus housing for married students (many colleges in the US have this now a-days). Also, those of us in the US need to remember that once you're married, you claim your spouse on the FAFSA instead of your parents, which means that you get many more grants and loans from the government, which adds up to a nice bit of savings. We're obviously concerned about the financial end of things, but we have a lot of friends who have gone before us in getting married in school. One couple managed to pay for their housing, health insurance (through the red cross, some college campuses also offer health insurance for students), car insurance, and food for an entire year for the $7000 that they made over the summer before their wedding. It is possible, though it will take a lot of sacrifice.