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BDSaint13

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May 22, 2006
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I need to hang out here more, there may be some good things to learn.

Anyways I'm stuck at home for Christmas Break. Unlike many poeple, I do not enjoy going home, adn its very hard to do so.

This has probably been the hardest, but God has kept my spirits high enough though these situations really suck.

I am a 3rd year college student, and I really wanted to go someplace for New Years eve. I expected my friends to invite me somewhere, but now one did. I asked my friends If I could come with them, but every party I ask to go to everyone jsut gives me some excuse why I can't come.

These aren't parties with trouble in them, these are just parties for the celebration of the New Year.

Its frustrating also because I have a feeling that I will be alone again for Spring Break. I wanted to go to another country for a missions trip my parents think that since I'm not working that I won't have enough money for the summer (I have an internship I have to be a part of that I have to pay 2000 dollars for)

Anyways basically, I feel betrayed. I feel like my friends aren't as reliable as I thought.

I've decided this. That I'm going to start guarding my heart more. I've whored myself out to others so much, trying to be really kind and showing them I'd be a great friend to have, and its just been seen as a creepy and they throw it back in my face.

I've decided that I'm going to invest my time in peopel who need the attention, who need my talents, who need the things God wnats to give.

Am I completely insane?
This is whats in my heart, cause it hurts so much when it feels like no one wants to invest anything in me.

I don't know, I came here just so see if this makes any sense.:doh:
 

fuzzyh

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Jun 26, 2004
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I have found that many of your friends aren't as close as you'd like them to be. However, you certainly find a few jewels out of all the other friends. I have a few people in my life that are extremely close to me. We can be a part for 1-2 years and yet when we come together we are like brothers. Developing friendship like that takes time, though. I have lots of friends who enjoy me when I do fun things, but finding people to help me put up fences and work is a whole different story. I find that helping others is helpful in this process.
 
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