I gotta say I was pretty shocked reading the article. I don't think she went a LITTLE overboard, I think she went TOTALLY overboard.
I completely agree that most teenagers these days are disrespectful, and parents just let their kids walk all over them. I'm not for permissive parenting. I believe in structure and discipline, I believe children need boundaries and need to experience the consequences of their actions, but I think she is completely inflexible and not actually doing her kids any favors.
When I think about the way I want to parent, I always think about Father God, and how I should try to parent the way he parents me. The relationship you create with your child foreshadows the relationship your child will seek with God. I find it interesting, and a bit sad, that as Christians we are all for being on the receiving end of God's grace, but we're not as quick to sign up for being a conduit of that same grace when it comes to our family members. It is a blessing to be able to teach our children by example what it means to follow Christ and how desperately even parents need God's grace.
She may love her children unconditionally, but that is not the message she is sending them when she rejects their birthday cards because they weren't good enough etc. And as for the names she calls her children, that really made me feel sad.
Our own character has a significant impact on the way our children develop, which is why we need to watch every word and action of ours. It reminds me of a lovely quote I heard:
"A mother can read all the child-rearing books and can subscribe to any theory of parenting, but what gets passed along to her children is something far more intimate and mysterious than anything contained therein. What gets passed along is her character, and it enters into her kids as surely and as inexorably as water flows from a fuller vessel into a less-full one." Laurence Shames
I understand that she wants discipline and perfection, but what kind of relationship do her kids have with her now that they are older? Is she a parent they could go to and say "I messed up" and know that they will be accepted no matter how badly they messed up? No way! Yes, they will respect her and be polite and obedient, but I don't
just want to raise respectful, obedient children. I want to raise kids who know they are loved lavishly in spite of their failures, and who make good choices to protect my heart and who are powerful adults who have developed wisdom by dealing with the natural consequences of their choices. I don't want them to live in fear of an angry, vengeful God who is just waiting for them to cross a line that they can't see.
The way Tiger mom parents her children I don't believe gives them a very accurate picture of our Savior. I want the way I parent to remove that barrier of shame and fear, and be a means of grace that points my child to the cross.
Wow, I didn't think this post would be that long...what can I say? I'm passionate about the topic.
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