Throw it away or keep it? please vote

[kuntrygurl_26]

Okay here is the story behind this poll.

about a year go, I was engaged. I had been with this person for about 2 years. Well in April of last year it all ended because he cheated on me. In November Of last year I met my boyfriend I am with now and we have been together every since. We are incredibly happy and Love each other very much.

Last night we were having dinner at Olive Garden and the subject of my engagement ring came up. I had told him I would get rid of it about a month back but never did. I know it was wrong to lie about it but that is not my question. Okay he thinks I should get rid of it because if I don't then it shows I still have feelings for my ex and plus it represents lies to him becuase I lied to him about getting rid of it.

To me it represents a chapter of my life that is done. It represents lessons I learned and mistakes I don't want to make again. I have no feelings at all for my ex. But I dont want to get rid of the ring just for the fact that it is a nice ring, even though I will never wear it again. But this bothers my current boyfriend.

So what do you think? Get rid of it or keep it?

 

[bliz]

Your current boyfriend is a boyfriend. He is not your husband. His opinion of what you should do with the ring is his opinion and nothing more. A current boyfriend or even a husband, does not erase all past memories of other people you have known.

I would advise, however, having the stone turned into another piece of jewelry, like a necklace or a pin. A good jewlery store could do that for you. And thre is no need to share the origins of that jewelry with anyone.

 

[peanutbutter12]

Legally, the engagement ring is property of your ex who has the legitimate right to ask for it back. I would consider shipping it back to him or holding onto it in case the day comes that he wants it back as he will have the ability to take you to court over the matter for the cost of the ring. An engagement ring is a conditional gift with stipulation of marriage. Without being married, the stipulation is not completed and the ring is still property of it's buyer.

Frankly, I don't know why your boyfriend is bothered by your having it if you don't wear it unless he either doesn't trust your feelings for him, he's jealous, or he is insecure. But then it all boils back to the question of why the ring is still in your possession when you should have given it back once the engagement was off, unless of course, you tried to return it and your ex said to keep it because he didn't want it.

CJ

 

[juzzi]

Your current boyfriend is a boyfriend. He is not your husband. His opinion of what you should do with the ring is his opinion and nothing more. A current boyfriend or even a husband, does not erase all past memories of other people you have known.

I would advise, however, having the stone turned into another piece of jewelry, like a necklace or a pin. A good jewlery store could do that for you. And thre is no need to share the origins of that jewelry with anyone.

That's a really good idea

I think it might be good for your relationship to get rid/change the ring - but like Bliz said, your boyfriend isn't your husband and so his feelings on it are purely opinions (as much as I'm sure you value his opinion, this needs to be YOUR decision only).

I know for me, getting rid of the ring would definitely be an act of closure that I'd have to do, either by throwing it out or giving it back to him.

 

[Monaleezza]

If you don't wear it I don't see the problem with keeping it. Some day you may decide to make it into something else or porn it or return it. But it's a piece of your past and you shouldn't make a decision based on someone elses opinion.

Unless you take it out everyday and stare lovingly at it, or stroke it every night before bed, or keep it on a chain around your neck, I don't see why your boyfriend would assume the ring holds any "meaning" whatsoever.

I have pictures in boxes of guys I have dated in the past. I don't look at them ever, but I wouldn't throw them away. That's my past and our past shouldn't be erased, even though we may have regrets.

 

[Berniquen]

I don't know. My initial reaction was that it needed to be sold, though when I thought about it, a girl I'm interested in has previously been married, and I wouldn't want her to get rid of the wedding ring/engagement ring on my account if we were dating/married. You're right, the ring does represent a chapter in your life, a chapter that has shaped who you are now.

That said I wouldn't want her to wear it, and I'm not sure I'd want her to wear it in another form.

 

[ben14826]

As Terra Sin said: The ring is technically the property of your ex. I suggest you either send it back to him or ask him if he wants it back. If you sell it and someday he decides he wants it back, you may be in legal trouble. Plus I think that having it around is a bad idea in many ways. it is an issue for tension with your current bf, it is a reminder of your ex, and it is an object that has bad conotations associated with it. You don't need your ring to remind you of the pain that this fellow put you through, Unfortunately you're always going to remember that. God Bless.

 

[bliz]

People keep declaring that the ring rightly belongs to your ex, however, that is not necessarilly the legal case. Courts have ruled differently on the matter, with factors to be considered like what state you live in. Some states view the ring as a conditional gift - given if there is going to be a marriage. Others view it as an outright, unconditional gift. Other states say it depends upon who broke the engagement. Other factors involve how the ring was given or if the bride has incurred financial expense preparing for the wedding.

 

[Weasel7711]

Okay here is the story behind this poll.

about a year go, I was engaged. I had been with this person for about 2 years. Well in April of last year it all ended because he cheated on me. In November Of last year I met my boyfriend I am with now and we have been together every since. We are incredibly happy and Love each other very much.

Last night we were having dinner at Olive Garden and the subject of my engagement ring came up. I had told him I would get rid of it about a month back but never did. I know it was wrong to lie about it but that is not my question. Okay he thinks I should get rid of it because if I don't then it shows I still have feelings for my ex and plus it represents lies to him becuase I lied to him about getting rid of it.

To me it represents a chapter of my life that is done. It represents lessons I learned and mistakes I don't want to make again. I have no feelings at all for my ex. But I dont want to get rid of the ring just for the fact that it is a nice ring, even though I will never wear it again. But this bothers my current boyfriend.

So what do you think? Get rid of it or keep it?

I would sell it for money.

 

[TeslaZ]

Me? I'd sell it.

 

[Emmaleuk]

i'd also sell it. If you are concerned he may ask for it back and at the same time you don't want hard feeling between you and your boyfriend then perhaps give it to somebody (mother, sister, good friend) etc...to look after for you in case such a day comes. Then its out of the house at least.

 

[Assisi]

I'd give it back...

 

[Tenorvoice]

Tho' "legally" it may be his...

the proper etiquette for you to do is thus....


If you broke it off you are to return it to him. If he broke it off, its yours to keep and do w/ as you please.

 

[superbear02]

I would ship it back to him.

i had a necklace (I know, not nearly as important as an engagement ring) from my exboyfriend. My current boyfriend didn't like that I had it and for a while I did hang onto it, but then I realize that it was a chapter in my life but that chapter is most certainly closed.

Why do you keep the ring? To remind you of good times you've had? What is more important; the ring or your boyfriend's feelings?

 

[kuntrygurl_26]

well turns out that I cant even find the ring. i was going to acctually mail it back but I think I threw it away in the first place...hmm seems like the whole argument was for nothing...sorry guyz

 

[juzzi]

Hehe, well there ya go then!

Glad the situation's all sorted

 

[ashley lynne]

You'll have an even more gorgeous ring on your finger once you're engaged to your future husband.

 

[Gods4me]

my only question to you would be this old ring would you ever wear it again?
most likly answer would be no.
but maybe im cheap i'd try and sell it get some money for your trouble. lol its been a year and he aint asked for it. so why bother having it.
please dont take my post to searously but as i asaid im poor and cheap

 

[JolieHeart]

If he wanted it back, then chances are he would have asked for it back by now. In most places, he owns the ring if she was the one doing the breaking up. If he broke up, then the ring is a gift belonging to her. If a couple gets engaged during a holiday (Christmas or birthday for example) then the ring belongs to her as a Christmas/birthday gift, regardless of it being an engagement ring.

Zsa Zsa says... Give the ring back, but keep the stone.

 

[Bunnymedic]

The only thing I see is wrong is that you lied to your bf.You need to be honest.

You can keep it if you want to,but you need to tell your bf that you still have it and why you want to keep it.

It probably wont be a big deal,unless he is the insecure or jealous type...or maybe just sensitive,I dont know.