- Dec 2, 2005
- 21,549
- 3,975
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
This is a more accurate version. The other story was based truly but it happened a little later and it wasnt the first
The first time is actually quite inspiring
I have a wonderful life and a wonderful mother who loves me dearly, so when I started getting depressed one day, I didnt want to believe it. At night I glued on my headphones, and during the week I cranked up my stereo, trying hard to numb out that indescribable alone feeling that screamed silently within my soul. Months past and it just got worse
secret cuts began forming all over my thighs and when I looked into the mirror, all I seemed to visualize was a pathetic piece of garbage staring back at me.
I use to cry to God, asking Him to please forgive my thoughts and to make the awful feelings I felt go away. As a Christian I felt shame, weakness, sadness, worthlessness feelings I felt a Christian wasnt suppose to have
When the time came to tell my mom, I was a nervous wreck. I prayed to God as usual, asking for strength to speak up that night and repeated Philippians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. That night, I sat up and looked across the darkness to my mothers bed across the room.
Mom, I need to talk to you Though I could only see my Mothers figure, she sat up as if she could pierce through the darkness pierce through my soul even.
Im listening. She replied. It took awhile but I told her everything I could hear my Mothers tears across the room and then upon finishing, she got up, cut the light on and sat by me on my bedside.
I didnt want to hurt you I said. I already feel like I am worthless enough in this world.
Lily, there is no possible way you can hurt me more by not telling me this Im your Mother, and these feelings you have are not normal. With God and me, you CAN and WILL get through this.
But Mom It has been months and months. What makes you think I can defeat this now? What my Mom said is something I can never forget
You can get through this because God and I love you, Lily. All you have to do is accept that.
Those words stuck to me, and pretty soon my entire attitude changed. I still went through a lot of rough times, that even got worse before getting better, but this new power of accepting love helped become my new pain reliever. I started seeing a new therapist and psychiatrist, tried med after med until I found the right one. I talked to my pastor; I continued to pray to God every morning, noon, and night and trusted Him more with my life. I even opened up to my Mom and I accepted the love she offered me and the love people around me offered me.
And well, it worked! As additional support, I went to Christian Forums and various others where I actually have got to reach out and listen to ones who were in the same situations I was in. I began to actually move forward and I was becoming a stronger person because of it.
I became more of an example for individuals to live by I accepted love as much as I gave it I not only say I love God and my Mom anymore I not only say, I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me I believe it That is a lesson we all should learn To not only say something and give love, but to believe something and accept love. That way, everyone can start living and the world will be a better place.
Through the Darkness
By: Lily00
By: Lily00
I use to cry to God, asking Him to please forgive my thoughts and to make the awful feelings I felt go away. As a Christian I felt shame, weakness, sadness, worthlessness feelings I felt a Christian wasnt suppose to have
When the time came to tell my mom, I was a nervous wreck. I prayed to God as usual, asking for strength to speak up that night and repeated Philippians 4:13. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. That night, I sat up and looked across the darkness to my mothers bed across the room.
Mom, I need to talk to you Though I could only see my Mothers figure, she sat up as if she could pierce through the darkness pierce through my soul even.
Im listening. She replied. It took awhile but I told her everything I could hear my Mothers tears across the room and then upon finishing, she got up, cut the light on and sat by me on my bedside.
I didnt want to hurt you I said. I already feel like I am worthless enough in this world.
Lily, there is no possible way you can hurt me more by not telling me this Im your Mother, and these feelings you have are not normal. With God and me, you CAN and WILL get through this.
But Mom It has been months and months. What makes you think I can defeat this now? What my Mom said is something I can never forget
You can get through this because God and I love you, Lily. All you have to do is accept that.
Those words stuck to me, and pretty soon my entire attitude changed. I still went through a lot of rough times, that even got worse before getting better, but this new power of accepting love helped become my new pain reliever. I started seeing a new therapist and psychiatrist, tried med after med until I found the right one. I talked to my pastor; I continued to pray to God every morning, noon, and night and trusted Him more with my life. I even opened up to my Mom and I accepted the love she offered me and the love people around me offered me.
And well, it worked! As additional support, I went to Christian Forums and various others where I actually have got to reach out and listen to ones who were in the same situations I was in. I began to actually move forward and I was becoming a stronger person because of it.
I became more of an example for individuals to live by I accepted love as much as I gave it I not only say I love God and my Mom anymore I not only say, I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me I believe it That is a lesson we all should learn To not only say something and give love, but to believe something and accept love. That way, everyone can start living and the world will be a better place.
Lily00
I will work on editing it before sending it to Chicken Soup for the Soul. 
