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[Therese Rose]

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[Therese Rose]

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[RDKirk]

Don't ignore red flags.

That's what red flags are for.

 

[thecolorsblend]

my boyfriend is agnostic

That's good reason for caution. I don't think marrying him would be the right thing if you're serious about your Catholic faith.

 

[Therese Rose]

Don't ignore red flags.

That's what red flags are for.

which part seems red flaggish? lol

 

[Aj L]

I personally i think you guys may not be evenly yoked. Something I learned from my first serious relationship is that sometimes love isn't enough to hold a relationship together. If you have strong disagreements on something as important as this it may be a very bad sign.

To me I don't understand why a man wouldn't want to marry a women he loves but I know that a lot of background can go into that opinion so I don't judge. That being said I don't think a relationship with God is the only reason to view marriage as important. Its about commitment and having the backbone to go after something even if there is a chance it could fail. To me being against marriage shows a lack of courage and commitment but again so much can go into peoples opinions its super hard to nail down what it means.

Have you ever spoken to him about possibly separating because of this issue? Just wondering what he might be thinking.

 

[Therese Rose]

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[Dave-W]

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[Therese Rose]

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[Aj L]

I'm fine with having different religious views; I accept his and he accepts mine. I just don't understand, like he doesn't think i should be upset over this little discussion and i don't want to be but i feel like i just lost something very special to me

Don't let him make you feel bad for how you feel, thats manipulation. He wants the relationship on his terms not as a mutual decision.

 

[Therese Rose]

RDKirk is right. You have red flags. Break up with this guy because he will be nothing but heartache for you.

He is in rebellion against God. God is a God of commitment. He wants to avoid the commitment of marriage.

but what's the difference between committing through marriage and verbally committing to stay with a person without being legally married? again it sounds cringey to me but i can't put my finger on why

 

[Dave-W]

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[Therese Rose]

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[Therese Rose]

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[Aj L]

But if i accept that what he is doing is hurtful to me then i might get angry. i dont want to react with anger. He didn't say definitely not a possibility in the future just maybe not. yes that makes me feel less secure but i want to react with love, not push him away. because its insecurity he feels that makes him wishy washy in the first place...also, i'm an overanalytical perfectionist who thinks i can fix everything. oops

I know the feeling. I do biomedical research for a living so I know what its like to over analyze things. I also know what it looks like when youre reaching for something that probably isn't there. Why not try couples counseling to help with his feelings of insecurity. After that you can revisit the ideas of marriage.

 

[Therese Rose]

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[Dave-W]

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[A_Thinker]

but what's the difference between committing through marriage and verbally committing to stay with a person without being legally married? again it sounds cringey to me but i can't put my finger on why

In all honesty, he sounds like he's kind of on the fence about the marriage thing now, ... which is better than being totally against it. He sounds like he thought he was ready to go there ... and then got cold feet. In time, he may come completely around.

As others have said, however, you are setting yourself up for continuing struggle if you continue in a relationship with an Agnostic. I would counsel caution ...

 

[Therese Rose]

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[Therese Rose]

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