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Thoughts on work...

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J

Jenster

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Does anyone else ever feel like you are burdened by being more responsible than others, whether at work or with your family? Admittedly, this has always been a hot button of mine, but lately I've been entertaining the wild thought that *maybe I should act less responsible* so that I don't end up crabby. Am I making any sense here?

Last year I was having problems on one of the ministries i serve on because I pretty much realized my expectations and my commitment was way higher than others on the team. It was constantly driving me nuts trying to get things done. Sad, but it didn't seem as though anyone was following my example -- just taking advantage of my responsibility. So my solution was to be less committed. I've decided to do what works for me.

Again, at work, I deal with sloppy work, late work and general irresponsibleness all the time. Today my boss just asked me what days a certain co-worker (who has been here for as many years as he has) is in the office. I'm thinking to myself: Why should *I* know better than you? Or why should YOU not pay attention to these things, but I should?

Sometimes I feel like looking at people when they ask me dumb questions, blinking blankly and saying, "Gee, I don't know! That's a good question," and then turning back to my work.

 
F

FlatpickingJD

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Jenster, you are definitely not alone in this. I'm dealing with much the same thing right now. My cell mate and I are about the only ones keeping up with the demands of our workload, and the rest of the team on the case seem to be slipping.

But you can't change who you are. I was watching a movie yesterday where the lead character was urged to do one thing, run away from the fight, but was likely going to do the opposite. He said "my head tells me to do one thing, my whole life tells me to do another." That's how I feel, that's how my cellmate feels (I asked) and I suspect that's how you feel too: you'd like to slack off, but your whole life pulls you the right way.

Try not to let this get to you any more than it has. Things will get better.
 
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I

ido

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I've been struggling with managing several different responsibilities at work and getting a lot of pressure from one of my bosses to figure out the balance and delegate things. Problem is, I can really only delegate things to one of the other girls b/c her work load is much lighter. When I do actually delegate stuff, she asks so many questions about how to do what I've asked her to do, that it feels as if it would be easier to do the job myself...and she's been there 3 years longer than I have.

I've given up on figuring out how to balance it out and just take the earful I get once every couple of weeks from my boss.
 
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J

Jenster

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Thanks for the encouragement, guys. I've just been having it a little rough these past few weeks. I think the cumulative stress finally has gotten to me. I felt so on edge today. I may be coming to the point of concluding I either need to take a LONG vacation or I need to look for another place to work. I've gotten so run down, I'm losing my vision for why I'm even doing this work.

I appreciate that, FJD. You've told me before that things will get better and I almost feel guilty that they haven't. :o Or that I haven't found a way to abide, you know?

I think you, me, D and flnativegirl should all go into business together. We'd do great!

So what was the movie?

flnativegrl said:
When I do actually delegate stuff, she asks so many questions about how to do what I've asked her to do, that it feels as if it would be easier to do the job myself...and she's been there 3 years longer than I have.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I hear ya. What's worse is when you start to wonder if the person is being intentionally clueless or launching a campaign to be so bad at doing something that you'll never ask them again...
 
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F

FlatpickingJD

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Another line from the movie is "no cause is lost, so long as one person continues to fight." If you enjoy the work itself, and like the company (certain individuals excepted), maybe you should fight for your company? Sometimes it's better to stay and fight for what you believe in than walk away.

I appreciate that, FJD. You've told me before that things will get better and I almost feel guilty that they haven't. :o Or that I haven't found a way to abide, you know?
Click to expand...

It's not your fault that things haven't improved. You've told us you're doing your part, so the fault lies elsewhere. Don't take on another person's guilt. It also sounds like you are abiding: one definition I found says "to endure, sustain, or withstand without yielding or submitting."

So what was the movie?
Click to expand...

Key Largo
 
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I

ido

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B

Bridgit

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I have learnt at work that if I add speed to my effective work, then more work is being given to me. Also, if I accept to stay later (without extra pay) at work to finish, then people have a tendency to give me something to do at the last moment, expecting me to stay late. At the end of each year, when I am being evaluated, I never get a promotion, not even a bonus or a note of appreciation. It's always the top people who get them.

All that has put stress in my working days and I refuse to get sick over it, like so many people at work are taking their pills for depression or anxiety, taking days off to go and see their psychiatrist or counselor. So I've decided to do my work efficiently but at a normal pace and not to stay at work past my working hours.

It's amazing how people have no respect for you. They just like to take advantage of you, no matter what the cost is for you. They just don't care.
 
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memoriesbymichelle

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You probably couldn't be a "slacker" even if you wanted to...it's not in you. It's like my son. He's in 8th grade, hates school but yet he is liked by all his teachers and gets straight A's. You are who you are, you just have to come to a place where you can accept that you really can't change anybody else and that you're OK with that. If it drives you that nuts, you might actually want to consider getting another job. You having stress at a place you have to spend alot of time at is not worth it! Life is too short! And when your boss does ask you those dumb questions that he should know the answer to (like when his employees work) I would say exactly what you were thinking of saying "I dunno, that's a good question". Watch this video. It'll make you think.
http://www.sonnyradio.com/lastlecture.html
 
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I

ido

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Hmmm...well, I delegated today. I told one of my co-workers that I am making her the "Literature Diva" and asked that she maintain the lit room by unpacking/filing any new literature and ensuring that our outside sales staff got copies of whatever new comes in, as well. Doesn't sound too difficult, right?

She asked me if we could manage it jointly. Never mind that I travel once a week, manage all of the reports for our suppliers on a weekly basis, and act as liason b/w our distributors and our suppliers - to include planning supplier visits to our territory (we average 1-2 suppliers/week sometimes).

Yoy.
 
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dluvs2trvl

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So did you tell her no, you can't manage it together - that it is her reponsibility...
 
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dluvs2trvl

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I can totally relate Bridgit...that is exactly how I feel. One of my friends was telling me that part of my trouble at work is that I do the work of a couple of people and my boss has come to accept that as the norm and keeps piling more and more on me and now that I've reached my breaking point - it isn't good enough for him.

I just really want out of there in a big way and am even considering just taking two jobs so I can leave there as soon as possible.
 
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J

Jenster

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flnativegrl said:
So - what kind of business are we going into, Jen?
Click to expand...
LOL! I think it's a wide-open field! Anyone got a "dream" field to go into? I'm thinking that opening a bakery sounds good...

hope4today said:
I could run the 'Down Under" branch. Yes??
Click to expand...
Yup, you will be our first official branch office!

I gotta watch Key Largo. Well, thankfully yesterday and today improved significantly over Monday. On Tuesday, I handled a situation differently than before and was proud of myself. I'd given some work to a co-worker and she came back with it only halfway done. I simply handed back the original document to her, circled everything she hadn't done and asked her to complete the job.

Bridgit said:
I have learnt at work that if I add speed to my effective work, then more work is being given to me.... So I've decided to do my work efficiently but at a normal pace and not to stay at work past my working hours.
Click to expand...
I really relate to you, Bridgit. If you handle work quietly without a fuss, people take advantage of you. They may even think you're not doing anything! I hate having to point out to people what work I'm doing -- it sounds like bragging -- but I can do what you do. Just go at a reasonable pace and when your hours are over, leave.

Today at 4:30 I decided I was mentally done for the day. So I spent the rest of the work day on one or two small tasks and then did some personal email. Again, it felt good to put that boundary up. I don't usually do that, even when I should.

flnativegrl said:
She asked me if we could manage it jointly. ... Yoy.
Click to expand...
Yoy, indeed! I'm glad you ignored her question. Sometimes people need a little encouragement, but at some point they also need to accept responsibility. I hate it when people try to get away with doing less. Right now I'm tussling with my boss over a project we handed off to the lazy co-worker. Instead of the co-worker taking the project and running with it, but boss feels we need to form a team around him to "encourage" him. He's the only employee who has a team to get his project done. Equally large projects are routinely handled by other co-workers all by themselves. I'm starting to wonder what the lazy co-worker is blackmailing my boss with, to get this kind of help...
 
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I

ido

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Ohh Jen...I'll ad a Yoy for your newest problem with LCW (Lazy Co-Worker ).

A bakery sounds good. I entertained the idea of starting a home-based meal prep business for expectant mothers. I even came up with a really cute name. Maybe someday in my spare time, eh?
 
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