This widow is ready to date.

[ThyLovingkindness]

How long should I wait, Father?
he's been with You for almost 9 years
for awhile I've uttered, "Why bother?"
because with men, I have these fears.

But now, I'm almost certain
my late-husband would say, "Go and date!"
I'm not ready to say it's curtains,
though I'll be 60, it's not too late.

The Bible has indicated
that as a widow, I can remarry
as it stands, I'm well situated
do I deserve a good guy? Oh, very!

So Lord, You awesome Matchmaker
select for me one who's anointed
and not a rebellious heartbreaker
as I don't want to be disappointed!

​

 

[Rememberme]

I did not know you wrote poems.You must be thinking about remarriage a lot to write a poem about the subject.I think you expressed your thoughts well.

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

I did not know you wrote poems.You must be thinking about remarriage a lot to write a poem about the subject.I think you expressed your thoughts well.

Hi Rememberme, yes I am thinking about it. I was prodded by scripture I'd read about how it's better for some widows to marry. I've already joined a dating site, but I'm procrastinating as far as putting up a picture. I'm not in a great big hurry, but I'm willing to explore God's will on this. Blessings!

 

[blackribbon]

I also think about it a lot. My dream as a little girl was to be a wife and a mother when I grew up. Not the most socially acceptable dream for a girl in the 70's and 80's. We were supposed to dream about being "equals" with men and not be stereotypical women. I have my engineering degree to show that I do have brains...but I was perfectly happy to use it to fix things like my dishwasher and washing machine. I am still a mother but that job will change to a less active role in just a few years. I still want to be a wife. That desire seems to be God given. I don't need a husband, I just want a husband...and a best friend again.

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." I think God designed me to be a helper. I don't really like being "unemployed".

However...dating is not something I have time for or any interest in.

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

I also think about it a lot. My dream as a little girl was to be a wife and a mother when I grew up. Not the most socially acceptable dream for a girl in the 70's and 80's. We were supposed to dream about being "equals" with men and not be stereotypical women. I have my engineering degree to show that I do have brains...but I was perfectly happy to use it to fix things like my dishwasher and washing machine. I am still a mother but that job will change to a less active role in just a few years. I still want to be a wife. That desire seems to be God given. I don't need a husband, I just want a husband...and a best friend again.

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." I think God designed me to be a helper. I don't really like being "unemployed".

However...dating is not something I have time for or any interest in.

Hi blackribbon, yes, it would be great to bypass the seeming absurdity of dating at this point... and yet I'm ready to try it. My hope is that I won't compare anyone to my late-husband, because I know from experience that it might cause me to miss him all the more. But I'm sure at this point he'd encourage me to move on to someone who'd treat me right. I'm kind of excited at the prospect. Blessings!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I would have a hard time NOT comparing someone to my husband. I loved my husband, and I loved alot of things about him so I would want those same traits or similar in someone I would date now.

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

I would have a hard time NOT comparing someone to my husband. I loved my husband, and I loved alot of things about him so I would want those same traits or similar in someone I would date now.

Hey michelle! I totally understand... here it is day number 7 and I still haven't uploaded that photo of myself on the dating site in which I've registered. All of a sudden I'm dragging my heels, for the same reasons you stated. But at the same time and in all fairness to single men, I'm hoping to eventually meet someone with whom I'm compatible, God's will be done.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Hey michelle! I totally understand... here it is day number 7 and I still haven't uploaded that photo of myself on the dating site in which I've registered. All of a sudden I'm dragging my heels, for the same reasons you stated. But at the same time and in all fairness to single men, I'm hoping to eventually meet someone with whom I'm compatible, God's will be done.

Yes, if it's God's will for you I hope you do. I will be content either way. Most of the time I'm OK and the times I "need" someone is usually when I think about my finances and how hard it is alone or when I wish I could go somewhere and do something with someone. But I'd rather have it God's way than my way, so que sira, sira, right?

 

[blackribbon]

I don't compare my kids to each other...they are unique people. I didn't find that I had that kind of issues with the guy I did date. I might have thought about how they were alike and different...but not "compared" as in one was better than the other so much.

 

[LeaningOnChrist]

A few weeks past now, my oldest sister and I were speaking on the phone. She mentioned that I ought to date other women, albeit no one will ever be like my wife, but to stay alone would be a waste of who I am as a man of God.

I patiently listened to her perspective. I then told her how I disagreed with her perspective. She wanted to know why. I told her that I know myself extremely well. I know that no other woman would ever be able to be who my beloved wife when she related with me.

I had prayerfully waited for my beloved wife and by the Will of God she and I met and were happily married. Our love bond is eternal. As I told my beloved when we met the following remains: Heavenly Threads from the throne of grace, weaving, knitting two into ONE.

I also told my sister how my love for my beloved wife is eternal and that I am completely satisfied to not date whatsoever. I love my beloved wife more with each passing day. I always did when she was with me here on earth and this has not changed and will not change.

My sister listened and then told me how she still thought my beloved wife would want me to at the least consider dating. She then told how I need to date widows. I told how she was misguided in her viewpoint, and really did not need to tell me what she thought my beloved wife would have wanted. She insisted need to date widows. And If I do not then I am simply wasting so much since I am a man of God, and that I have so much to offer a widow. I disagreed with her in my most gentle manner.

My conviction remains. I am content with my servant hood to Christ Jesus, and loving my beloved wife more each day. Everyone is different. Individuality like snowflakes never duplicate in any form. I hold onto the Blessed Hope of my reunion in Heaven with my Creator, God and my beloved wife who I knew and vowed to love for an eternity. Our love bond will forever be alive in eternity. This is enough for this man of God!

In HIS unfailing Love…

 

[Rememberme]

A few weeks past now, my oldest sister and I were speaking on the phone. She mentioned that I ought to date other women, albeit no one will ever be like my wife, but to stay alone would be a waste of who I am as a man of God.

I patiently listened to her perspective. I then told her how I disagreed with her perspective. She wanted to know why. I told her that I know myself extremely well. I know that no other woman would ever be able to be who my beloved wife when she related with me.

I had prayerfully waited for my beloved wife and by the Will of God she and I met and were happily married. Our love bond is eternal. As I told my beloved when we met the following remains: Heavenly Threads from the throne of grace, weaving, knitting two into ONE.

I also told my sister how my love for my beloved wife is eternal and that I am completely satisfied to not date whatsoever. I love my beloved wife more with each passing day. I always did when she was with me here on earth and this has not changed and will not change.

My sister listened and then told me how she still thought my beloved wife would want me to at the least consider dating. She then told how I need to date widows. I told how she was misguided in her viewpoint, and really did not need to tell me what she thought my beloved wife would have wanted. She insisted need to date widows. And If I do not then I am simply wasting so much since I am a man of God, and that I have so much to offer a widow. I disagreed with her in my most gentle manner.

My conviction remains. I am content with my servant hood to Christ Jesus, and loving my beloved wife more each day. Everyone is different. Individuality like snowflakes never duplicate in any form. I hold onto the Blessed Hope of my reunion in Heaven with my Creator, God and my beloved wife who I knew and vowed to love for an eternity. Our love bond will forever be alive in eternity. This is enough for this man of God!

In HIS unfailing Love…

Leaningonchrist It seems people just want to fix our situation.They mean well I believe.I have a very good friend that suggested the same to me.My response was "I can not even imagine that at the moment."At another time the same friend wanted me to converse through email with a friend of hers.I made it clear I was not interested.My husband is barely cold and people want to fix you up.:confused.:o

 

[LeaningOnChrist]

Leaningonchrist It seems people just want to fix our situation.They mean well I believe.I have a very good friend that suggested the same to me.My response was "I can not even imagine that at the moment."At another time the same friend wanted me to converse through email with a friend of hers.I made it clear I was not interested.My husband is barely cold and people want to fix you up.:confused.:o

Yes, I agree that my precious sister means well. I also agree there is nothing to fix, aye!

In HIS unfailing Love...

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

Well, I don't know about y'all... but I'm ready to live my life. I still would like someone to grow old with, God's will be done. Again, it really is up to the Lord.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Leaningonchrist It seems people just want to fix our situation.They mean well I believe.I have a very good friend that suggested the same to me.My response was "I can not even imagine that at the moment."At another time the same friend wanted me to converse through email with a friend of hers.I made it clear I was not interested.My husband is barely cold and people want to fix you up.:confused.:o

Shortly after my husband passed my mother in law (his mother mind you) told me I should join parents with partners because that's where she met her husband. When I declined she said to me "well what are you going to do? Just shrivel up and die?" Wow! Just because I didn't want to date I'm shriveling up and dying? really? It's been 7 years and I haven't dated. Not sure what the future holds and I leave it up to God.

LeaningOnChrist I TOTALLY see where you are and agree with you. If you don't want to date or re-marry you shouldn't. What you could do, if you were so inclined, is to be friends with widows/widowers. I for one, would love to have a friend like you. Someone that was not interested in replacing their mate and just maybe someone to share the rest of the journey with in a platonic way. Most men want relationships. I would just like companionship. Someone to go do things with and to be able to talk about things that most people don't understand without the issues of replacing our loved ones. I'm not saying you should do this at all. It sounds like you are mostly content with (well as best as one could be) with just being alone, but I think we all need friends and it's just a thought that's all.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Well, I don't know about y'all... but I'm ready to live my life. I still would like someone to grow old with, God's will be done. Again, it really is up to the Lord.

Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong. We kept our vows until death do us part and you are under no obligation to remain alone if you don't want to, and I agree with you it's up to the Lord.

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong. We kept our vows until death do us part and you are under no obligation to remain alone if you don't want to, and I agree with you it's up to the Lord.

"...until death do us part..."

Good point! Thank you for drawing attention to this!

 

[LeaningOnChrist]

LeaningOnChrist I TOTALLY see where you are and agree with you. If you don't want to date or re-marry you shouldn't. What you could do, if you were so inclined, is to be friends with widows/widowers. I for one, would love to have a friend like you. Someone that was not interested in replacing their mate and just maybe someone to share the rest of the journey with in a platonic way. Most men want relationships. I would just like companionship. Someone to go do things with and to be able to talk about things that most people don't understand without the issues of replacing our loved ones. I'm not saying you should do this at all. It sounds like you are mostly content with (well as best as one could be) with just being alone, but I think we all need friends and it's just a thought that's all.

I thoroughly agree that friendship is of great value in my life. I believe friendship with people who are born again Christians and understand what it is like to deal with grief over losing a beloved spouse would a blessing of the Lord. I welcome friendship as this, and thank you for the kind gesture. I also agree that we men do tend to want more than friendship in most cases. This Man of God is willing to be a friend and is not looking for anything more than I stated in my prior posting as follows:

My conviction remains. I am content with my servant hood to Christ Jesus, and loving my beloved wife more each day. Everyone is different. Individuality like snowflakes never duplicate in any form. I hold onto the Blessed Hope of my reunion in Heaven with my Creator, God and my beloved wife who I knew and vowed to love for an eternity. Our love bond will forever be alive in eternity. This is enough for this man of God!

Thank you for your words. I deeply appreciate your warm, kind and candid approach.

In HIS unfailing Love...

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

I thoroughly agree that friendship is of great value in my life. I believe friendship with people who are born again Christians and understand what it is like to deal with grief over losing a beloved spouse would a blessing of the Lord. I welcome friendship as this, and thank you for the kind gesture. I also agree that we men do tend to want more than friendship in most cases. This Man of God is willing to be a friend and is not looking for anything more than I stated in my prior posting as follows:

My conviction remains. I am content with my servant hood to Christ Jesus, and loving my beloved wife more each day. Everyone is different. Individuality like snowflakes never duplicate in any form. I hold onto the Blessed Hope of my reunion in Heaven with my Creator, God and my beloved wife who I knew and vowed to love for an eternity. Our love bond will forever be alive in eternity. This is enough for this man of God!

Thank you for your words. I deeply appreciate your warm, kind and candid approach.

In HIS unfailing Love...

LeaningOnChrist, do we know each other? The way you write seems extremely familiar... maybe we're acquainted by way of writing on another Christian website? If I'm wrong, the resemblance is still remarkable...

 

[LeaningOnChrist]

LeaningOnChrist, do we know each other? The way you write seems extremely familiar... maybe we're acquainted by way of writing on another Christian website? If I'm wrong, the resemblance is still remarkable...

Not to my knowledge, do I know you. I am not on any other Christian Sites, whatsoever. So the resemblance you speak of is not something I can explain. Perhaps the Lord wanted you to experience something remarkable from a Man of God that you do not know? Only the Lord knows, aye!

In HIS unfailing Love...

 

[LeaningOnChrist]

LeaningOnChrist, do we know each other? The way you write seems extremely familiar... maybe we're acquainted by way of writing on another Christian website? If I'm wrong, the resemblance is still remarkable...

Do I know you? Not to my knowledge.I am not on any other Christian Sites, whatsoever. So the resemblance you speak of is not something I can explain. Perhaps the Lord wanted you to experience something remarkable from a Man of God that you do not know? Only the Lord knows, aye!

In HIS unfailing Love...