this is crazy

lostandlonely · Jul 7, 2006

i cant believe i have found somewhere where christians can talk about this stuff! i am a cutter and have been doin it for 2,3 years now and have about 70 lite scars and some heavier ones. i kept it a secret until i confessed to my best friend and community a year ago. i didnt believe it was a sin until recently, but i am already way addicted. i even feel like doing it when i am otherwise feeling and thinking perfectly normal. when i feel the temptation i can physically feel that tension and sensation in my skin i start to go crazy. sometimes i end up yelling or throwing things because to keep me accountable, my friends have removed everyhting i use to do this sin. still it is really difficult. are there any other guys here that do it? cause i know statistically speaking usually girls do it, and no offense to anyone, but it makes me feel very alone. has anyone gotten free completely from this? even from temptation or even having thots about it?

texannurse · Jul 7, 2006

I have most certainly not "gotten rid" of the urge to cut. Somedays it is much less, but it is always in the back of my mind. I am not a guy, but I certainly know what it feels like to want it so bad you can feel it. I guess as far as sin goes, yes, it is an attack against our bodies, the gift God has given us to serve and love Him with. But I also believe He is a God of tender mercy and compassion and HIs desire is our wholeness. I pray that you will have the strength and courage to work at resisting the temptation - 5 minutes, 15 minutes, a day, a week - all of that takes great courage! Have faith, you are most certainly not alone in this struggle.
In His Heart,
texannurse

purples · Jul 7, 2006

I'm a girl, but lots of guys self-injure too... you would be surprised.

Don't be so hard on yourself about slipping up. Everyone does it from time to time, it is part of recovery. Have you ever thought about praying to God or writing letters to God everytime you feel the urge to hurt yourself? Try reaching out to Him because He is stronger than all things.

Have you gotten any professional help? You seem to identify your cutting as an addiction - not everyone views it as an addiction. Because this is the way you view it, have you tried something like AA or maybe another program that might have a support system to help you deal with it better?

berry2000 · Jul 7, 2006

Yeah I was really happy when I found a place where christians can talk about self harm. I'm a girl but I really know what you are talking about the urges, the thoughts, the attempts at distraction, the desire to even when everything else seems "normal". I have been using scripture and friends to help me break this habit. And I too think it is sin because "we are God's chosen and holy people" "created in his image" and therefore we should not treat ourselves as if we have no value.

So I've been a cutter for 8 years. And right now I've been free from it for 5 months. I have hormonal triggers and bipolar triggers and the urges tend to come in waves. Sometimes not so much urge, sometimes so much I can hardly bear it. But "I am pressing on toward the goal".

Good luck and lots of prayers to you in your battle.
Remember we are always here esp when you are tempted.

eccl12.13 · Jul 8, 2006

lostandlonely said:
i cant believe i have found somewhere where christians can talk about this stuff!

Hey lostandlonely....i know what you mean--I experienced the same feeling a year ago and am still so totally grateful for this place!

i am a cutter and have been doin it for 2,3 years now and have about 70 lite scars and some heavier ones. i kept it a secret until i confessed to my best friend and community a year ago.

Getting it out into the open is your first step to successfully leaving behind this habit. I was in it for about eight or nine years and NOT telling anyone about it was the worst mistake I made in my whole life. So you're headed in the right direction.

i didnt believe it was a sin until recently, but i am already way addicted. i even feel like doing it when i am otherwise feeling and thinking perfectly normal. when i feel the temptation i can physically feel that tension and sensation in my skin i start to go crazy. sometimes i end up yelling or throwing things because to keep me accountable, my friends have removed everyhting i use to do this sin. still it is really difficult. are there any other guys here that do it? cause i know statistically speaking usually girls do it, and no offense to anyone, but it makes me feel very alone. has anyone gotten free completely from this? even from temptation or even having thots about it?

I have gotten free from the habit and addiction but the thoughts and temptations are still there. Sometimes they are strong and I will admit to giving in slightly a few times but I am definitely not addicted any longer.

Really how it came about was God just reaching down and rescuing me. A year ago I was really at the lowest I've ever been....depressed, angry, lonely, empty, suicidal and injuring on a life-threatening level. The stupidest thing is that I wasn't asking God for help to get out and I didn't tell anyone.

The biggest thing I can tell you, buddy, is start praying and asking God to help you quit. It's so great that your friends are lending what assistance they can but you may want to consider getting more, what should I say, professional help?

If the Lord can show such mercy and grace to a stupid and stubborn jerk like me when I wasn't even asking for help or willing to tell someone, I firmly, firmly, firmly believe that He will most definitely answer the diligent pleas of someone willing to ask. I will pray for you! Connact me personally if you need more help!

eccl12.13

shortANDsimple · Jul 9, 2006

i'm not telling you that i know how you feel because i'm not you and i don't exactly know how you feel, but it's lonely when you're the only one who cuts. i used to cut myself for a long time and no one i knew did it, so i kept it all inside...which made it way worse! so my heart sincerely goes out to you because it's crappy, but know that it's ok to ask for help and i'm not talking about prayer..which is awesome, but sometimes we need a person to talk to as well. there's no shame in asking for help because that's when you'll start feeling free again which is an amazing breath of fresh air! we're called to be free. hope that helps you somehow or gives you a little hope.

this is crazy

lostandlonely

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