Things you don't want to hear in a plane from the pilot

[Lessien]

"This is your captain speaking. We were behind schedule, so I've dumped out all the luggage."

"This is your captain speaking. Lovely day, isn't it? Perfectly clear....perfect day.....for a barrel roll."

"ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz......"


"We're gonna crash, so just throw your hands in the air and pretend it's a roller coaster!"

 

[equal-minded]

The scary thing about the second one is I know a pilot who'd probably say that!

 

[Lessien]

Rofl!!!

"This is your captain speaking. Ya'll seem to be in a good mood, so I think now would be an excellent time to tell you that we're 75 miles off course."

 

[Alive again]

too funny!!!

 

[Locket]

Reminds me of something that happened to my parents...

They were coming home from this church thing in San Diego and my Dad's trying to keep my mother from being nervous. She HATES flying. They were waiting and waiting and waiting... and the plane still didn't move. Then all of the sudden this maitinence guy comes flying down the aisle... with a roll of duck tape in hand.
My mom gasped. "I really did not need to see that." You know what my Dad said?
"Oh relax. I would be really worried if he was out on the wing."

 

[Lessien]

Rofl!!!!!!!

 

[JesusFreak08]

haha i like those

 

[Loopi]

HAHAHAHA, those are great, i shoulda shown them to my boyf before he went to Honduras, he HATES flying

 

[Saviot'Valuan]

Reminds me of something that happened to my parents...

They were coming home from this church thing in San Diego and my Dad's trying to keep my mother from being nervous. She HATES flying. They were waiting and waiting and waiting... and the plane still didn't move. Then all of the sudden this maitinence guy comes flying down the aisle... with a roll of duck tape in hand.
My mom gasped. "I really did not need to see that." You know what my Dad said?
"Oh relax. I would be really worried if he was out on the wing."

Haha, I like your dad.

 

[nbiol]

wow...those are amazing...just like the 20 things you never want to hear a surgeon say...

 

[Locket]

wow...those are amazing...just like the 20 things you never want to hear a surgeon say...

Post those!

 

[Unique]

Ok, picture this. Pilot Bob and Co-pilot Steve.

"Bob, I know you want me to take the yoke but I'm still not comfortable. I don't feel ready. Oh my goodness!?! What is that red light? We're going to die, I know it! Its the engine light isn't it? Oh, its the intercom light."

 

[RefinedByFire]

" Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Welcome aboard flight 256. We're glad you can join us." [long pause]

"Just want to let you know... [engine starts up] my wife left me and I'm not feeling to good about myself. Thought you should know, but hey...let's get this bird up in the air and see where it take us...*hick*. "

 

[93fleetwoodlowlow]

Lol!

 

[Unique]

Rofl!

 

[peggysue17]

lol! funny that i see this, my fam. and i are goin to montana for vac. this week. were flyin!

 

[peggysue17]

but its cool it'll be fun. even though we'll be flyin for about 13 hrs! and i have a short attention span!

 

[Silent_J]

lol

 

[Yamialpha]

Not as scary as whenever the pilot comes over the intercom requesting the alcohol cart. That'll wake you up.

 

[Yamialpha]

wow...those are amazing...just like the 20 things you never want to hear a surgeon say...

It's like that episode of The Simpsons when Homer is in the middle of open heart surgery and the surgeon starts singing "Oh the knee bone's connected to the something, the something's connected to the red thing, the red thing's connected to my wristwatch...uh oh."